


Tainted Love

by YaoiLover66



Series: The Love of Jahvie [1]
Category: Jayy Von Monroe (Musician) Dahvie Vanity (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BOTDF, BloodOnTheDanceFloor, Dominant Jayy, F/M, Florida, Jahvie Vonroe, Jealousy, Love/Hate, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Song Lyrics, Submissive Dahvie, Tainted Love, the green eyed monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-12 12:13:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 54,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2109489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaoiLover66/pseuds/YaoiLover66
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.<br/>"That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tainted Love Song

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a Jahvie Fanfiction, so please be nice! Also, this story can be found on my Quotev account; the reason I'm putting "Tainted Love" on here is because this story contains some explicit details and I didn't want it to be deleted. So thus, here I am. I do not own BOTDF (Blood On The DanceFloor), nor am I implying Jahvie is real (though I wish it was). I do, however, own the song at the beginning (the one called, "Tainted Love.") and the characters Emily Aragon and Kevin Cole and Mr. Clark. Enough rambling; enjoy!

Tainted Love Song

*This song is legally mine; it can be found on my Wattpad account as well

This love we share, it isn't right

It goes against all that we believed to be true

This love we feel, it doesn't make the evil fade into the night

It doesn't make the sky blue

This love we have for each other shouldn't be real

It shouldn't exist at all

The thought of being yours shouldn't have so much appeal

It shouldn't make me want to break down all our walls

This love we created is so wrong

Like a misfitted glove

Guess that's why it's called tainted love

/Breathe/

(Dahvie's POV)

I used to be innocent and pure

My colors free from the dark swirling in the air

I used to safe and secure

My feathers free from your evil affairs

I used to be a beautiful dove

Until I fell for your love

/Breathe/

(Dahvie's POV)

You're the boy everyone wants and wants to be

You're the guy I shouldn't fall for

You're the angel that's after me

You're the villain that'll open up all my locked doors

You're the bad one I'll fall in love with

/Breathe/

This love we share, it isn't right

It goes against all that we believed to be true

This love we feel, it doesn't make the evil fade into the night

It doesn't make the sky blue

This love we have for each other shouldn't be real

It shouldn't exist at all

The thought of being yours shouldn't have so much appeal

It shouldn't make me want to break down all our walls

This love we created is so wrong

Like a misfitted glove

Guess that's why it's called tainted love

/Breathe/

(Jayy's POV)

I used to be evil and cold

My colors all twisted together

I used to be wild and uncontrolled

Never believing a silly thing like love lasted forever

I used to be a player that slept around

My wings crippled and painted black

I used to stay flying above the ground

But it was you who put me back on track

/Breathe/

This love we share, it isn't right

It goes against everything we believed to be true

This love we feel, it doesn't make evil fade into the night

It doesn't make the sky blue

This love we have for each other shouldn't be real

It shouldn't exist at all

The thought of being yours should have so much appeal

It shouldn't make me want to break down all our walls

This love we created is so wrong

Like a misfitted glove

Guess that's why it's called tainted love

/Breathe/

(Dahvie's POV)

They say we aren't meant to be

(Jayy's POV)

They say you're too good for me

(Dahvie's POV)

They say I've been tainted by evils ways

(Jayy's POV)

They say for you this is just a phase

(Dahvie's POV)

They say that you're nothing but bad news

(Jayy's POV)

But why the hell should we care about their views?

(Dahvie's POV)

I'll them straight to their faces

(Jayy's+Dahvie's POV)

"I love him, and there's nothing you can do!"

/Breathe/

This love we share, it isn't right

It goes against everything we believed to be true

This love we feel, it doesn't make evil fade into the night

It doesn't make the sky blue

This love we have for each other shouldn't be real

It shouldn't exist at all

The thought of being yours should have so much appeal

It shouldn't make me want to break down all our walls

This love we created is so wrong

Like a misfitted glove

Guess that's why it's called tainted love

/Breathe/

Tainted love

Tainted love

Tainted love


	2. Innocence Meets Impurity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, YaoiLover66, solemnly swear that I do not own BOTDF, nor do I own the sexy (and amazing) men: Jayy Von Monroe and Dahvie Vanity. I do however own the song and the following characters: Emily Aragon, Kevin Cole, and Mr. Clark. Enjoy! And remember to comment!  
> Also, just to let you guys know, Italic means thoughts (the words 'In these').

***Dahvie Vanity's POV (Point Of View)**

**Beep-Beep-Beep**

A groan escapes from full pink lips as a figure hidden beneath red velvet covers rolls over, an olive arm shooting out and slamming down on the offending item. Suddenly, all is quiet once more as the sound disappears like the moon in the sky.

Moaning in relief, the figure retreats his arm back inside his warm cave as sleep slowly starts to pull him back into slumber land, whispering sweet promises of lovely dreams filled with happiness...

Only to be interrupted by a noise once more.

**Beep-Beep-Beep**

"Damn it!" The two words escape my cotton filled mouth as I finally shove my comfortable (and warm too!) covers away from my half bare body, placing my olive bare feet on top of my red carpet and pushing myself off the bed while slamming the alarm clock off once more (this time I hit the dismiss button instead of snooze).

Silently walking towards my closet, I pull out a pair of white skinny jeans and an Invader Zim shirt (that was fucking adorable! It said, "I heart Gir.") before moving towards my medium sized bathroom.

Turning the metal knob sideways, I step back and strip off my Hello Kitty (I love Hello Kitty. Fuck you if you judge me just because I'm a guy and like something meant for a girl) pajama pants before stepping into the waterfall of warm water.

Moaning in relief, I let my brown eyes disappear behind olive eyelids as my body regains its previous warmth, the water not only waking me up but also heating my temperature. Shaking my head to stop from falling asleep, I quickly start to bathe while making sure to lavish my black spiky hair dyed with red stripes at the ends with extra attention.

Once all the shampoo and conditioner was out of my hair, I slide open the glass door and step out, goose bumps popping all over my olive skinned body as the cold air slammed into my naked body like a sledgehammer.

Grabbing a Hello Kitty towel, I quickly dry and pull on my clothes before turning towards the fogged up mirror and (after wiping away the fog) started perfecting my hair until I had one bang sliding over my opposite brown eye (I could still see, though. The bang stopped right above my eye). Olive hands pat it down, moving it over until satisfied.

Next, I moved on to my Mac cosmetics, gently curling black eyeliner around my brown eyes before pulling out blue contacts. Finally, after gosh knows how long, I put all my make-up away and step back into my room.

Not even looking around, I quickly walk over to my desk chair and grab my backpack before stopping at my bedroom door and backtracking until I was in front of my black dresser.

Standing on my tippy toes (I really hate being short somedays), olive hands grasp ten wristbands and quickly pull them over my arms to make the red jagged lines sticking out against the olive skin disappear before turning and walking out, my converse making the wooden steps creak and groan.

**Grr!**

A rumbling noise suddenly growls as the aroma of eggs and bacon reaches my nose as I walk into the kitchen, causing a small smile to tug at my lips while my mom laughs.

"Someone's hungry," She murmurs, her eyes flickering up towards me as she sets down a plate filled with breakfast in front of an empty chair.

"What can I say?" I shrug my shoulders as I plop down into the cushion chair, shoveling the delicious food in my mouth. "I'm a growing boy."

"A short growing boy that can sure pack some serious calories!" Mom teases as she walks over to the kitchen sink and starts cleaning the dishes.

"I'm not short!" I pout as I take a bit of my beacon, my pout indelibly etched onto my lips. "5'7 is an average height for a boy. Not all of us can be 6'2 ft."

"Of course, of course," Mom concedes, sending me a small smirk over her shoulder. "I'm so sorry for offending your height."

"Better be," I jokingly respond, sending her a soft smile before returning to my breakfast.

"So, you ready for today?" Mom questions as she comes over and picks up my now empty plate, her eyes reflecting her concern.

"It's a new school," I mumble as I stand up, leaving my backpack on the chair. "I'm as ready as I can be."

And with that, I turn and walk back up the stairs, entering my room and going straight for the bathroom to brush my teeth.

 _'Today's the day,'_ I silently say as I brush my teeth, blue eyes gazing into the crystal clear mirror. _'The day I finally meet Dunedin High. Hope it isn't like my last school.'_ I wince at that pessimistic thought, shivers running down my spine like a roadrunner (and these weren't from the cold this time).

 _'No!'_ I silently growl as I brushed harder, trying to focus on the pain flashing through my white teeth. _'This is going to be different. You're not going to go all out this time. You're going to keep your head lowered, don't give anybody shit, and go about your day looking and acting as harmless as possible.'_

 _'That didn't stop them last time, though,'_ My conscious points out, but I bluntly ignored it in favor of spitting out the toothpaste and mouth washing, making my breath smell less like breakfast and more like mint.

Turning on my converse heels, I walk out the bathroom and outside (I grabbed my backpack from the kitchen, don't worry. I'm not that exhausted to have forgotten the most important thing) where mom sat waiting in the car.

Quickly climbing in the passenger seat, I slam the door and sink back into the seat, fiddling with the radio as Mom drove towards school.

* * *

"We're here," Mom calls, my blue eyes snapping up from my lap to the relatively large building looming in front of us as if it were some villain (then again, some days school can be evil, so maybe that's not a far-fetched idea).

"Yay!" I sarcastically squeal, rolling my eyes as I grabbed my backpack.

"Save the sarcasm for someone else, mister," Mom easily responds, giving me a glare that held no real heat and more affection.

Childishly, I stick out my pink tongue, chuckling at her unimpressed expression.

"Be careful, okay?" Mom questions, all traces of fun disappearing to be replaced by a somber expression. "And don't get into any trouble, Dahvie. Let me take care of any problems."

My bottom lip is captured by my upper teeth as I instantly realize what she was really talking about.

"I will," I murmur, my blue eyes moving from her face to the door so I wouldn't have to see the disappointment boiling beneath those brown eyes.

"Good," Mom murmurs before leaning over and kissing me on the temple, causing me to smile at her. "I love you, and have fun."

"It's school, mom," I point out with a mischievous grin lighting up my face, "We kids aren't like you old people who love learning."

I chuckle as I receive a light smack on the back of the head for that comment.

"Get out, Mr. Cheeky," She orders, the whole "I'm mad" thing tarnished by the fond smile growing on her lips.

"Love you!" I call before hopping out of the vehicle and moving towards the High School's metal doors, pulling one open and walking into a wide well lit hallway that was crowded with a sea of kids.

Blue eyes slowly scan the new surroundings, flickering over the faces of people I don't (and might not ever) know before I gradually move away from the door and enter the sea.

Lowering my head and gaze, I quietly murmur "excuse me" over and over, praying to god I wouldn't piss anyone off.

Fortunately for me, my prayers were heard, for I easily got through the sea without anything happening.

 _'Ha!'_ I silently shout at myself as I internally smirk and dance in victory, _'Told you conscious that this school wouldn't be like my previous one!'_

"Oof!" The air rushes out of my lungs as I slam straight into a pole, my body falling backwards until my ass hit the ground. "Watch where you're going, new kid," A deep voice growls, my blue eyes shooting up while my body shrunk backwards as I realized the "pole" I ran into was actually a human.

Who looked like a football player.

You know, with giant muscles and wide broad shoulders and arrogant (for some football players anyway) expressions and tones.

"S-Sorry," I quietly whisper as I lower my gaze, my heart pounding against my chest like a war as I prayed to god I wouldn't get beat up on my first day at High School.

"You better watch where you're going next time kid," The football player growls as he sidesteps me before throwing over his shoulder, "Next time I won't be so nice."

Shuddering at the poorly disguised threat, I stand up on trembling legs and started trying (in vain, by the way) to find the office so I could receive my schedule and the map to tell me how to even get around this place.

After ten minutes of wandering and ending up in either dead zones or hallways filled with even more students, I finally decide to ask for direction.

 _'Please,'_ I silently beg as I move towards a girl that was tall (she was taller than me! A girl! Damn my genes) and had long dark brown hair, _'Please be nice and just tell where the main office is. Hell, you can just point it out and not say a word, but please don't instantly make me your enemy like jock boy did.'_

With one trembling olive hand, I softly tap the girls shoulder, waiting for her to turn around.

Thankfully she did.

"Yes?" She asks, blue eyes peering into mine as she gave me a shy smile.

"U-Um," I stumble over words, not expecting (even though I was pleading on my internal knees) the girl to be so...well, nice. She softly laughs, raising one eyebrow as she gazed at me with amusement written all over her face.

"Are you new?" She inquires, her gaze flickering over my form.

I inhale a deep breath before answering, my voice stuttering less than before. "Yeah, and I kinda need help trying to find the office."

"Oh!" She murmurs, her eyes wide as if she should have realized that. "Of course! I'll take you there, don't worry."

"Thanks," I nod my head, sending her a gratified smile before following her taller form.

"So, what's your name?" She questions, her eyes flickering to my face before back in front of her.

"Dahvie Vanity," I quietly answer, not totally sure I could trust her (Go ahead, call me paranoid. But you better put yourself in my fucking shoes and experience what I experienced, then you'll think I'm not as paranoid as you believe).

"That's an unusual name," The brown haired girl murmurs, tilting her head as she furrows her brows before shrugging. "My name's Emily Marie Aragon."

"That's an unusual last name," The comments slips past my lips before I can stop it.

Freezing in my tracks, I slowly move my eyes towards her face, expecting to get hit or ridiculed or something.

I certainly wasn't expecting her to throw back her head and laugh.

"I deserved that one, I suppose," Emily responds after he laughter died down, giving me a grin as she continued to show me the way to the office. "You know, Dahvie, I think you and I can be good friends."

I snap my head towards her, blue eyes widening in astonishment as I repeat her sentence in my head.

 _'Friends?_ ' I silently repeat as I continue to gaze at her with eyes wider than a saucer plate, _'She actually wants to be friends? I mean, it could be just a trick or something, but...I haven't had a friend for a while now.'_

"What?" Emily queries, her eyebrows furrowing as she noticed my gaping eyes.

"I-It's n-nothing," I quickly murmur, my cheeks heating up as I looked away, feeling a tidal wave of relief wash over me as I noticed the office up ahead.

"Mkay," Emily replies before stopping in front of the open wooden door, "Well, here we are. Do you want me to stay?"

My bottom lips soon becomes ensnared by my upper teeth as I debate on the answers.

 _'If I say yes, I'll have someone showing me around,'_ I silently say as my blue eyes dropped towards the floor and stared at it, my teeth gnawing at my lip. _'But, if I say no, I'm protecting myself from getting close to her and thus ensuring myself from feeling betrayed if she turns out to be part of some kind of trick or scheme.'_

Finally, with my heart pounding against my chest, I look up and answer. "No, thanks though."

"You sure?" Emily questions, her gaze filled with sincere concern.

"Yeah," I murmur as I take a step into the office, "I'm positive."

"Okie," Emily shrugs before giving me a parting smile, "Well, I'll see you around then, Dahvie."

I nod my head before walking towards the lady sitting at the desk and grabbing my schedule from her waiting hands. Turning on my heels with my gaze firmly implanted on the map I held in my hands, I walked out and into the noticeably deserted hallway.

Blue eyes flicker up, scanning the hallway before falling back on to the map while clothed olive feet start to move towards where my locker was located. It took me a few tries (though it felt like a thousand to me), but finally I arrived at my locker.

 _'Fucking finally!'_ I silently scream as I place the map on the ground and put in my combination, _'I thought I'd never find this thing.'_

Once the metal door had opened, I quickly stuffed all my books in it, though I kept my needed supplies for Math and History out.

So in tune with putting my items in, I never noticed a dark clothed figure approaching me until I was slammed against the neighboring lockers.

 _'Oh fucking come on!'_ I silently scream as my blue eyes disappear as I inhaled a deep trembling breath (and also the smell of cigarette smoke and a masculine scene), _'This is my first day at this hell hole and already I'm being shoved into lockers? That's just great! Cue the fucking sarcasm.'_

"What's a beautiful man like you doing out here all alone?" A male voice inquires, his voice deep (but not too deep) and sensational (it may or may not have sent shivers running down my spin. And these shivers? These weren't from the cold, or fear).

My cheeks instantly heat up as my blue eyes snap open, coming face to face with bright green ones.

 _'Holy mother of fucking god,'_ I silently breathed as I gaze wide eyed at the very sexy man standing in front of me, _'He's fucking sexy!'_

He was tall (taller than me. And damn if I didn't like guys taller than me. I'm bi. Sue me), at least 6'1, had a slim body clothed in black skinny jeans (that did nothing to hide his other height) and a black V-neck shirt (that outlined his muscled stomach) and a black leather best hanging over it. He also had black hair that was spike up and the tips were dyed blood red.

Basically, he was sex on legs.

"Like what you see baby?" The God (because with this man's beauty and voice, he is nothing but a god) breathed in my ear, my cheeks heating up even more as shivers coursed down my spine and arousal stirred beneath my skin. I opened my mouth to respond (with what? I honestly have no idea. Probably to say no or to deny it. God knows I don't need to get into anymore trouble), but all thoughts of speaking (or moving away for that matter) instantly flew out of my head as he ground his hips down on to mine.

Instead of words escaping my lips, a moan (that embarrasses me to this day because it was so loud and needy) does.

My cheeks flushed tomato red as I try to not focus on the wonderful, sexy, hot- _'Stop it!'_ I growl silently to myself as I felt junior Dahvie peek up at the attention.

"God I can't wait to get you into my bed," The God purrs into my ears (and seriously, I think the only thing I could right at that moment was moan and shiver) as he rolls his hips against mine again.

Another moan, this one just as humiliating as the last one, escapes my lips as my eyes flutter close.

Unfortunately, the pleasurable moment was ruined by Emily's voice.

"Get the fuck of him, Monroe!" Blue eyes instantly snap open, my cheeks turning ever darker (is that possible? Because it must be if it's happening to me!) as I notice Emily standing a few feet away from us with a frown etched onto her face and pale arms crossed over her BVB shirt.

"Fuck off Aragon!" The God (Monroe, my mind easily provides) growls as he pulls away (a whimper did not escape my mouth. It didn't. It was a stray mouse squeaking just as I opened my mouth).

"Get to class Monroe, and leave Dahvie alone," Emily hisses as she steps forward.

"Oh, so the cutie's name is Dahvie?" Monroe slides his bright green eyes towards me and a smirk (that was so fucking sinful it should not exist on this planet) crawls over his pierced lips (fuck he has a piercing?! Thank god Emily came then, otherwise I'd most likely be getting sexed up by the incubus standing in front of me).

"Well then, I'll see you later," Monroe purrs as he ghosts his lips over my pulse point (Yes, I shivered. Yes, my eyes rolled back in my head. No, I did not whimper...it was the mouse again), **_"Dahvie."_**

 _'Oh god,'_ I silently whimpered (thankfully this one was silent) as my glazed blue eyes followed Monroe's form, _'My name should not sound so sexy. But the way he said it made it sexy.'_

Apparently, junior Dahvie agreed.

Very, **very** much.

Emily coughed while gazing at me with one raised eyebrow, causing my cheeks to flush dark red as I tried to shift my obvious arousal from her view.

"You okay, Dahvie?" Emily inquires, concern articulated in her tone.

"F-F-Fine," I stutter out as I try to calm myself down, running through my list of turn-offs before bending down and picking up my fallen items (after junior stayed down and behaved, of course).

"I'm glad," Emily murmurs as she also bends down and helps pick up my stuff, "I'm sorry about Monroe. He thinks that since he's hot, a bad boy, and popular that whenever he wants someone he gets them."

"W-Wait, he's popular?" I question with shock scrawled all over my face.

"Yeah, why? Is there something wrong?" Emily asks, handing me all my stuff as I slowly stood up while that urgent piece of information sunk into my brain.

"B-Bu h-he w-was, y-you k-know," I stutter out, my cheeks flaming as I motioned between me and the lockers.

"You're shocked that even though he's gay he's popular?" Emily questions, my mouth dropping when she said he was gay.

"G-G-Gay?" I choke out, my blue eyes wide once more (it seems like Dunedin High has a lot of surprises for me).

"Yeah," Emily nods as she motions for me to follow her, "He's gay. But no one gives him shit for it because he'll pulverize your ass before you even get one words out."

"O-Oh," I murmur, nodding my head as I realized just why he's popular.

"So," My gaze drops to the floor as my feet awkwardly shuffle, my cheeks heating up once more (and it seems that Dunedin High is the high school where'll I'll be known as the blushing virgin).

"What's his name?"

"No!" Emily sharply responds, her legs no longer moving as she turned to face me. "You do not want to know who Monroe is. He's just an asshole that'll end up hurting you."

"W-What do you mean?" I question, my blue orbs peering into her eyes as if they held the key to all the answers.

"Monroe's a player, Dahvie," Emily whispers, her voice softer than before as she gazed at me. "Any boy that walks into this school that is good looking had been fucked by Monroe. He makes them think they're the only one by flirting with them and promising them things he never does such as being with them forever, but when they have sex with him they're dumped."

Blue eyes gaze at Emily startled and hurt, noticing just how sincere she sounded.

"Add to that he's the school's residential bad boy," Emily adds, her eyes gazing into mine. "Piss him off, or hurt any of his friends, and expect to start living in hell."

Shivers of fear crawling down my spine at that sentence, imagining just what Monroe would do if you got on his bad side.

 _'I'd rather not find out,'_ I silently say, another shiver walking down my body.

"He's bad news, Dahvie," Emily quietly said, "It's best if you stay away from that kind of guy."

"I will," I promise, faltering before continuing.

 "What's his name, though?"

Emily sighs, the sound filled with exasperation that sounded like a scream inside the quiet hallway, before answering.

_**"His name's Jayy Von Monroe."** _

 

 


	3. It's Just Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own BOTDF, nor am I implying Jahvie is real. I do own the song at the beginning and I do own the following characters: Emily Aragon, Kevin Cole, and Mr. Clark. Thanks for reading and remember to review!  
> 'Thoughts are in italic in reality'  
> 'Thoughts are bold and italic in dream'

*Dedicated to Isis Von Sykes for being the first to comment, and just being amazing  
 ***Dahvie's POV**  
*Warning: Boy on Boy action coming up  
  
 _"His name's Jayy Von Monroe."_  
  
The name echoes inside my brain, making paying attention to the teacher's lectures much harder than necessary.  
  
 _"Monroe's a player."_  
  
 _"Dumps them after he has sex with them."_  
  
 _"He's bad news."_  
  
Emily's words kept repeating themselves all day, as if saying them so many times would make me lost this irresistible pull- _this tug_ -I feel towards Jayy.  
  
 _'Why the hell am I even attracted to Jayy?'_ I silently question as I move towards my locker, kids parting and gazing at the new kid with intrigued glances. _'He's a player. If I ever have sex with him (which I won't!), he'll just dump me and leave me like he did to all the other boys before: broken hearted and all alone.'_  
  
Full pink lips purse as I put in my combination and shove all my items inside the metal locker, my hand resting on the door as blue eyes gazed unseeingly into my locker.  
  
 _'I know all this,'_ I silently continue, my lower lips becoming captured by my upper teeth as my thoughts rolled like a snowball. _'So why the hell do I feel so attracted to him? I mean, Jayy's hot yeah (okay, so maybe he's drop dead gorgeous) and has a smoking body and a sensational voice that makes me want to rip all his clothes off, but that's all. I may be a sixteen year old hormonal teenager, but I'm smart enough to not give something so special (A.K.A my virginity) to someone who I'm not going to spend the rest of my life with.'_  
  
 _'So, is it just lust?'_ I inquire, my bottom lip turning redder than a tomato as I nibble on it while my thoughts continue to wander like the clouds in the sky. _'Is that why I feel so attracted to Jayy? Is that why I want to get to know him and figure out all his secrets? Because he's hot and I'm horny?'_  
  
"You okay?" Startled, blue eyes jerky from the locker to the blue orbs of Emily's.  
  
"I'm...I'm fine," I falter before replying, quietly closing my locker and turning towards her while pushing away the doubt I felt creeping over my body at the "It's just lust" answer.  
  
"You sure?" Emily queries, her blue eyes flickering around as she leaned in closer. "Jayy wasn't giving you any shit was he?"  
  
"No, I haven't seen him since this morning," I respond as we start to walk to the cafeteria, my stomach humming happily at the thought of filling it with food.  
  
"Good," Emily murmurs before a smile lights up her face like a christmas tree, "So, what'd you think of our Math teacher, Mr. Palmer?"  
  
"He's really strict," A grimace passes over my face as I remember the grey haired old man with glasses, "I mean, did you see the way he got on that one kid just because he got the answer wrong?"  
  
"Yeah, that totally was uncalled for," Emily huffs as she shrugs her shoulders, "Last year when I went here, all the students of Mr. Palmer said that they hope we didn't get him next year. They called him the "Wicked Devil," and I'm not even kidding."  
  
A chuckle escapes my lips as we open the wooden doors of the cafeteria, the sound of laughter and talking intensifying as we walked into the large relatively clean cafeteria.  
  
"So, what's for lunch today?" I question as we both stand in line, my blue eyes moving over to gaze at Emily.  
  
"Mac' N Cheese," She answers, her lips curling up into a smile as she faked vomit.   
  
"Is it that bad?" I inquire, noticing the face vomiting she was doing.  
  
"It's not good, that's for sure," Emily responds, grinning at me.  
  
"Anything else they have, then?" We both move forward, my eyes moving over the yellow cheesy food.  
  
"They have a salad bar, and pizza," Emily murmurs as she grabs a plastic container that contained a salad and ranch dressing in it. "Though the pizza's really greasy."  
  
"Pizza it is then," I chirp, opening the door that held the rotating pizza's and grabbing one, placing it on the styrofoam plate before moving towards the register with Emily in front of me.  
  
"So, how's Dunedin High treating the new kid?" Emily quizzes, grabbing two water bottles and handing one to me.  
  
"It's going," I easily answer as we shuffled forward, my foot tapping against the tiled floor. "It's actually not that different from my old school."  
  
 _'Except the fact that at my old school I was bullied,'_ I silently add, but quickly shake my head to rid the thoughts and memories threatening to wash over my and take me under like a tidal wave.  
  
"Where did you go for your ninth grade year?" Emily queries, her gaze sincere and intrigued as she put her student I.D in.  
  
"North High," I answer while also putting in my student I.D, "It's in North Carolina."  
  
"That's cool," Emily says before turning her attention to the lunch lady and giving her the money.  
  
I followed suit, giving the lady a soft smile before following Emily to an empty booth.  
  
"So, have any favorite teachers yet?" Emily continues her "Interrogate the new kid and milk him for all he's worth" game.  
  
"Not really," I shrug as I take a bite of my pizza, chewing and swallowing (and damn Emily was right! It was greasy) before opening my water and taking a sip. "Then again, it's still the beginning of the year, with it only being September. I'm sure later on I'll have an answer for that question."  
  
"Alright, I'll give you a pass this time, Vanity," Emily warns, her blue eyes narrowed playfully. "But don't think I'm going to go easy on you next time."  
  
"Not you," I easily tease back, a grin settling on my lips as I realize I was actually talking to someone who wasn't a grade A asshole. "Not the great Emily."   
  
"I am pretty great, aren't I?" Emily rhetorically asks, straightening her form so she looked arrogant, though it was ruined by the smile layering her lips.  
  
"Hm," I hum, drawling out my answer while snickering at the glare (that held no heat) she was sending my way. "I guess."  
  
"Screw you, Vanity," Emily huffs as she melodramatically takes a bite of her salad and harshly chews it.  
  
Blue eyes gaze at her fast working jaw before I burst out laughing, Emily soon joining in.  
  
Once the laughter died down, we were left in a comfortable silence with two bright identical smiles etched upon our lips.  
  
"So," I break the silence, setting my half eaten pizza down and raising my blue eyes to look at Emily's peaceful face. "Jayy Von Monroe."  
  
The change was instant in Emily:   
  
The bright smile dropped down and was replaced by a thin straight line; her body stiffened and instinctively straightened; blue eyes narrowed and lost their warmth, leaving them ice cold jewels.  
  
"What about him?" Emily murmurs, her tone belying just how much she did not want to talk about him.  
  
"You really don't like him," I softly answer as my blue eyes scan the room, searching for said figure but coming up with none.  
  
"No," She answers softly, so softly I had to strain my ears to hear her. "I don't. I don't like him at all."  
  
I nod my head, my black hair staying firmly in place (thank god to whoever created  hairspray) before speaking up once more, carefully treading on the thin ice I was walking on.  
  
"Is there..." I falter, a lump suddenly forming in my throat before I swallowed it down while my blue eyes remain on the table. "Is there a reason for that?"  
  
"Yeah," Emily softly answers, her white fork flipping the remaining salad pieces over and over, but never eating them.  
  
A thick tangible silence descends around the table, the uncomfortableness doing nothing to ease my thundering heart.  
  
 _'Great fucking job, Dahvie!'_ I silently snap at myself as I pushed my pizza around, my hunger vanishing like the shadows on the walls. _'Not only did you inquire about something really personal, you just made a "Could've been" friend uncomfortable!'_  
  
"I'm sorry!" I blurt out, my blue eyes flickering up to Emily's face as my cheeks flush red. "I-I shouldn't have asked."  
  
Emily softly laughs, the sound bitter with a hint of cynical amusement.  
  
"It's fine, Dahvie," Emily reassures me, reaching over and patting my head. "It's just something I don't like to talk about."  
  
I nod my head in understanding, knowing just how it felt to harbor a secret that you never wanted anyone to know.  
  
"I understand," I quietly mutter, blue eyes clashing with blue orbs. "But, I'm here if you ever need to talk."  
  
"Thanks," Emily gives me a shy smile and I return it, my body gradually relaxing as I realized I just saved my friendship.  
  
The rest of the time flew by in soft chit chat and boisterous laughing, the bell signalling the end of our fun.  
  
"Have fun in Chorus!" Emily says, her voice loud as it fought to be heard over the roaring of other voices.  
  
"Thanks! Have fun in whatever class you have!" I call as we part ways, both of us going to our lockers to pull out our items we needed for our last three periods (My schedule was Math first, History second, Science third, Gym fourth, Lunch, Chorus, Language Arts, and Spanish).  


* * *

 **Slam!**  
  
An olive skinned body tenses as his neighboring students rudely slammed open their locker doors, the sound sending a pint of fear circulating through  his veins.  
  
 _'Can't anyone ever softly close their lockers?'_ I silently question as I pull out all my needed supplies and stuff them in my messenger bag, my brows furrowing as I was jostled between students.  
  
 _'No, because they probably haven't bullied and don't realize that loud sounds can actually scare people,'_ My conscious easily answers.  
  
Blue eyes roll, but I silently agree with said conscious before quietly shutting my locker and moving between the multitude of students, sighing in relief as the front doors stood in front of me like watch dogs.  
  
Olive arms reach out and push open the doors before walking out into the bright daylight, black pupils constricting as it adjusted to the change of light.  
  
 **Honk! Honk!**  
  
I slowly turn towards the sound and notice my mom's vehicle; A grin lights up my face before I rush towards the car, opening the door and throwing my backpack in.

"How was your first day?" Mom quizzes as I shut the passenger door, turning on the ignition and backing out of the school.  
  
"It was good," I answer, making sure to keep the part about being threatened by a football player and being molested by a really hot guy to myself.  
  
"That's good," Mom murmurs, her brown eyes focused on the road in front of her. "Did you make any friends?"  
  
"Yep!" I reply, popping the 'p'. "Her name's Emily Marie Aragon. She should me where the office was and I have her in my first four classes."  
  
"That's wonderful!" Mom squeals, sending me a bright smile to show her glee. "Maybe you can invite her over someday."  
  
"Mhmm," I agree as I sink back into the seat, my blue eyes staring out the crystal clear window while my thoughts went over all the homework I needed to get done.  
  
 _'I've got an essay in LA, a worksheet in math, a computer quiz in Science, reading in History, and a worksheet in Spanish.'_  
  
 _'That is way too much homework,'_ I silently grumble, a pout forming along my lips as I thought about how much harder it was going to be later on in the year. _'Damn you homework. Damn you for being in a gigantic quantity.'_  
  
"What's with that face?" Mom inquires as she pulls into the driveway of our new home, turning the car off and giving me a bewildered look.  
  
"Just a lot of homework," I respond as I grab my bad and get out of the car, walking towards the front door. "It seriously should be a crime to give a lot of homework."  
  
"You kids are just lazy logs," Mom mumbled as she unlocked the door and ushered me in, "Don't want to put the effort into anything."  
  
I stick out my tongue as if I were a five year old instead of a sixteen year old before walking up the stairs (and I may or may not have over dramatically stomped on the steps as I walked up).  
  
The sound of laughter reached my ears before I closed my bedroom door and threw myself on top of my bed, blue eyes closing before snapping back open.  
  
 _'No sleep for you,'_ I silently upbraid myself as I push my body off the bed and sat in the desk chair, opening up my bad and pulling out all the assignments. _'Homework first, then, if you're still tired, sleep.'_

* * *

"I....am....dead," I groan as my head lands on the dinning table once more, my hair missing the potato bowl by an inch (I was that exhausted that I wouldn't have even cared that the best part about me was smothered in food!).

"No you're not," Mom scoffs as she taps my head, "You still have a beating heart. Now get your head off the table!"

"I can't!" I whine pathetically as I gaze up at her with wide brown eyes (I took out the blue contacts. They were starting to get irritating), the puppy dog look reinforcing itself on my face.  
  
"Yes, you can," My mom huffs while my dad chuckles as he slowly eats while watching the scene with amused eyes. "You just don't want to."  
  
"It's takes energy to life something as heavy as my head," I mumble as I slowly lift my head off the table, brown eyes glazed with exhaustion. "And I don't have the energy."  
  
And just to prove that point, my head falls back on to the table, this time my hair wasn't as lucky as the first few times and landed in the potato bowl...  
  
I didn't notice and I honestly didn't care.  
  
"Can I be excused so I can go and sleep for eternity in my room?" I ask, the words muffled by the cloth covering the table.  
  
"Fine, you may be excused," Mom sighs, her voice amused and exasperated.  
  
"Thank you," I praise as I jerk away from the table and stumble up the stairs, little groans escaping my mouth as I slammed a body part against the steps and railing.  
  
Finally, after what seemed like a forever journey (which was honestly only a thirty second journey), I arrived at my destination.  
  
Quickly brushing my teeth, stripping and clothing myself in my Hello Kitty pajama pants, I crawl under the red covers adorning my bed.  
  
As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm out like a light.  
  
 **~Dream~**  
  
 _Mewls escape kiss-swollen lips as teeth teasingly bite a bared olive neck._  
  
 _"S-S-Stop t-t-teasing m-me," I mewl, my back arching up into a warm body as white teeth graze my pulse point._  
  
 _"Can't," The words are muffled around my neck as he bites down, moans of pleasure and pain escaping my mouth. "You're too hot to resist."_  
  
 _A breathless laugh escapes my lips before it turns into another mewl as he created another hickey._  
  
 _' **O-O-Oh g-g-god,'** I silently mewl as brown eye roll back, the pleasure sending my body into sensitivity overdrive._  
  
 _A whimper, mournful and needy, escapes my lips as he pulls back, dark brown eyes dark and filled with lust._  
  
 _"There," He softly murmurs as he strokes my neck with those long fingers of his, "That way everyone will know you're mine, and mine only."_  
  
 _I moan, never in a million years expecting possessiveness would turn me on, but it did._  
  
 _"J-J-Jayy," The name slips past my lips as I wind my olive arms around his neck and pull him back down, our lips a centimeter away. "K-Kiss me."_  
  
 _Jayy smirks, the light bouncing off his piercing (that seriously is not helping my straining erection), before leaning in, his lips ghosting over mine._  
  
 _"Ah, ah, ah," He says in a sing song voice, pulling away and gazing at me with mischievous grin. "What's the magic word?"_  
  
 _"F-Fuck you," I groan out as I once more try to pull him down, the flame of desire scorching my body and burning it to a crisp and only Jayy's kiss could save me._  
  
 _"Sorry baby, but I'm the dominant in this relationship," Jayy purrs as he rakes his teeth down the column of my neck, sending me into the abyss of moans and whimpers and needs._  
  
 _"Jayy," I moan my back arching up, our bodies rubbing against each other (and creating mouth watering friction that will kill me)._  
  
 _"Please," I whimper, my hands carding through his hair and tugging at it, relishing in the growl it created (and it seriously was a sexy growl. If he keeps that sound up I won't last a minute longer)._  
  
 _"Please what?" Jayy huskily whispers, his mouth playfully tugging at my earlobe._  
  
 _I mewled, my hands instantly tugging at his hair, as I lost myself in the wicked pleasure I was receiving._  
  
 _ **'This is wrong,'** My conscious hisses as I mewled beneath Jayy, **'You shouldn't be doing this. You shouldn't be enjoying this. It's wrong. Wicked. He's only doing it for sex. Don't you see that?'**_  
  
 _Oh, I see it._  
  
 _It's just the matter that I honestly do not give two flying fucks because the only thing I care about right was getting Jayy's mouth on mine before I died from excessive pleasure._  
  
 _"K-Kiss me," I growled lowly, my voice husky and filled with lust, tearing away from my thoughts as I jerked my hips up and collided with his arousal, moaning in relief as I felt that friction once more._  
  
 _"Fuck, Dahvie!" Jayy growls as he tears away from my ear, a whimper escaping my lips as the heat left my ear, before pushing down and grinding and growling and holy mother fuck that is amazing._  
  
 _Brown eyes roll back as the friction intensifies, the flame of desire building and building until it consumed every inch of my body._  
  
 _But I didn't care._  
  
 _I didn't care that my whole body was on fire, the desire rapidly coursing through my veins_  
  
 _I didn't care that I was so turn on it physically hurt._  
  
 _I didn't care that it was Jayy, the bad boy who happened to also be a player, creating this feeling within my body._  
  
 _I didn't care that it was wrong, wicked, evil._  
  
 _I didn't care that I was innocent and he was tainted._  
  
 _I didn't care._  
  
 _Gripping the silky black hair in my olive fingers, I pulled him down and did one thing I've wanted to do since the beginning of this._  
  
 _I kissed him._  
  
 _And fuck wasn't it great?_  
  
 _The roughness of his lips connecting with my softer ones, the taste of cigarettes and something uniquely Jayy overriding my taste buds._  
  
 _It was perfect._  
  
 _"Jayy!" I tore my lips away from the perfect kiss and threw my head back, moaning the name of a sinner while stars crossed._  
  
 _I heard my name being called in the same fashion before everything faded away._  
  
 **~Dream Ends~**  
  
Gasping with sweat dripping down my face, I shoot off the bed as if it were on fire, a whimper escaping my lips as I looked down and found semen stained pajama pants.  
  
 _'Oh my mother fucking god,'_ I silently breathed as I continued to gaze wide eyed at the offending items, _'I just had a sex dream about Jayy Von Monroe.'_  
  
A groan, this one filled with astonishment and embarrassment, escapes its prison before I fall back on to my bed (wincing as I felt my pants sticking to my lower body) and gaze up at the ceiling clothed in the night's darkness.  
  
 _'Fuck my life,'_ I silently say as I pushed myself off the bed and walked into the bathroom.  
  
 _'Well, you know one good thing came out of that,'_ My conscious points out as I clean myself off (this is embarrassing. I mean, sure I've masturbated before, but I've never ejaculated this hard before).  
  
 _'What's that?'_ I bitterly question as I wash my hands and gaze at my sweaty, red face in the mirror.  
  
 _'You figured out why you're attracted to Jayy,'_ My conscious states and I freeze.  
  
Wide brown eyes gaze at each other as I realize what that meant.  
  
 _'It's just lust,'_ I realize, a relieved smile curling over my red lips (I must have been biting them during that...ah, wild dream).  
  
 _'It's just lust.'_  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. I'm not like the others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own BOTDF, nor am I implying Jahvie is real. I do own the song and the following characters: Emily Aragon, Kevin Cole, and Mr. Clark. Enjoy and remember to comment!  
> 'Thoughts are in italic'

***Dahvie's POV**  
  
The next day was exactly like yesterday; I did my morning routine, showered, dressed (black skinny jeans and a Bring Me The Horizon T-shirt) and walked down for breakfast.  
  
That was normal.  
  
What wasn't normal was what my mom said to me as soon as she noticed me.  
  
"Well don't you look glowing."  
  
"Wha?" The words were muffled as I shoved a pancake in my mouth, my green eyes staring at my mother as if she had grown a second head.  
  
"You look different," Mom clarifies as she sits across from me, a coffee mug held in between her hands. "Not bad different, but good different, as if a weight on your chest had been lifted and you could now breathe."  
  
"Really?" I inquire as I swallow the delicious pancake and reach for my orange juice glass.  
  
"Yes," Mom answers, her brown eyes peering into my eyes as if trying to see my soul (you know, the awkward stare you're parents give you when they think you're hiding something). "Something I should know about?"  
  
 _'Besides the fact that you don't have to worry about me becoming tainted because I thought I loved a bad boy like Jayy?'_  
  
Instead of saying that (god knows my mother just might have a heart attack), I slowly spoke, making sure not to give away to my thoughts.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Positive?" Mom continues to interrogate, the suspicious look never fading from her face.  
  
"Absolutely," I respond with confidence dripping from my tone.  
  
And I was confident, because the only reason I was even intrigued by Jayy was because he's hot, and I'm a horny bisexual male.  
  
"Okay," Mom murmurs standing up and placing the mug in the kitchen sink before walking over and placing a kiss on my head.  
  
"Well, I've got to get back to the bakery," Mom explains as she grabs her purse and walks towards the door, "Love you! Be good and have a great day at school."  
  
"You too!" I call, the sound of the front door shutting reaching my ears.  
  
Quickly finishing my breakfast and brushing my teeth, I grabbed my car keys (yes, people, I have my own car. Mom just wanted to make sure I was okay on my first day of school) and walked out the door, locking it behind me.  
  
I open the driver's door and throw my bag on top of the passenger's seat before sliding in and turning on the ignition; once situated, I slowly pull out and start heading towards school, music blaring from my radio.

* * *

  
Finally, after ten minutes had passed, I saw Dunedin High looming ahead.  
  
Shutting off the engine, I quickly climb out and start heading inside, keeping my head lowered and praying that today would be a nice bully-free day.  
  
Opening my locker and pulling out my items, I was startled when a voice spoke up from behind me.  
  
"Boo!"  
  
"Ah!" I yelp, jumping up and slamming against the lockers, ignoring the heated glares I got from the other students for accidentally pushing them.  
  
"Damn Em," I curse as I right myself up, glaring at my brown haired friend while bending down and picking up my fallen items.  
  
"I'm sorry Dahv," Emily apologizes, her tone and blue eyes sincere.  
  
"It's fine," I murmur, giving her a soft smile as we started heading towards Mr. Palmer's class.  
  
"So, ready for another day in wonderland?" Emily inquires, her tone thick with sarcasm as her blue eyes peered into my face.  
  
"Oh yes," I answer with a straight face, stomping down the smile curling over my lips. "I can't wait to meet Alice, the Hatter, and the Chesire Cat."  
  
Emily gazes at me with wide blue eyes and I bite my lower lip, trying in vain to stifle the laughter.  
  
We're silent for approximately two seconds before we burst out laughing.  
  
"D-Did you really just say that?" Emily inquires as she reaches a pale hand up to wipe away stray tears.  
  
"Mhm," I incoherently reply as I gently wipe away my tears (what? I have eyeliner on!).  
  
"I knew you and I were going to be good friends," Emily teases as she links her arm with mine.  
  
"Now," She starts with a mischievous grin scrawling over her lips, "Come with me, dear Dahvie, and let us enter the magical world known as wonderland."  
  
A snort escapes my nose as I obediently follow her.  
  
"By the way," Emily stops in front of Mr. Palmer's door, "What's up with you?"  
  
"What do you mean?" I question with a bewildered look on face as I gazed at my first friend (I didn't really have friends when I grew up. I had one, but they dumped me and started bullying me when they found out I was Bi).  
  
"You're..." Emily falters, her pink lips pursing and brows furrowing as she peered into my eyes like my mom did (do all women have the same expression when they're suspicious?). "Different."  
  
"Oh come on," I groan as she used the same exact word as my mom.  
  
"What?" Emily tilts her head as she stares at me with narrowed blue eyes.  
  
"My mom said the same exact thing," I explain while shrugging my shoulders.  
  
"I see," Emily hums, still gazing at me as if I were a lab rat. "What'd you say?"  
  
One eyebrow raises as I give her my best bitchy expression.  
  
"I said nothing was different," I respond as I turn and move inside the classroom, taking a seat next to the window. "Why? Do I really look that different?"  
  
Green eyes flicker down my outfit, taking in the different clothes but same short body.  
  
"No," Emily murmurs, her lips twitching up in amusement as she saw me checking myself. "You just look...happy, relieved, content."  
  
My shoulders instinctively lift while my green eyes focus on situating my items on the wooden desk, never meeting Emily's blue eyes (god knows that girl is perspective and might figure out why I look so relieved).  
  
"You guys must be imagining things," Was all I said before bluntly changing the topic to the essay in Mrs. Patty's class.  
  
Fortunately for me, I had a great friend that allowed the topic to slide, but by the narrowed blue eyes I knew I was going to be interrogated in study hall.

* * *

  
 _'I am not hiding,_ ' I silently said as I "conveniently" slid behind the bookcase that just happened to be situated where it blocked the vision of anyone standing in front of the Library's doors and picked up a "convenient" book and shoved it right up to my face, green eyes peeking up and scanning my surroundings.  
  
 _'I just happened to go behind a bookcase that hides people from suspicious friends that want to interrogate you as if you were a criminal,'_ I continued to explain, as if that sentence would justify the obvious lie. _'Damn you school! Why'd you have to go by so quickly? Why couldn't you have dragged your feet like every teenager in this building and kept me from homeroom?'_  
  
"Dahvie?" A 5'7 body stiffens as a female voice enters the library, green eyes widening into saucer plates. "Where are you? You and I have to have a little talk."  
  
Was it just me or did Emily's voice sound slightly sadistic as she said those words in a sweet innocent ways?  
  
 _'Definitely the sadistic one,'_ My conscious whispers, shivers racing down my spine as my eyes flickered around the room. _'Haven't you realized it's the nice ones to worry about? Hidden beneath that sweet innocent smile is a monster! A monster I tell ye!'_  
  
A giggle escapes my lips as my conscious overdramatically described Emily before I froze in my tracks, green eyes flamed in fear as I heard footsteps heading towards the bookcase I was hidden behind.  
  
 _'Hide!'_ My conscious shrieks and I didn't need to be told twice.  
  
Quicker than a cheetah, I dash towards the other bookcases, my ears straining as I heard footsteps follow my every move.  
  
 _'Fuck fuck fuck fuck,'_ I chanted inside my head as my feet stopped moving against the carpeted floor, my head snapping left and right as I debated which way was the best to go and save my ass from certain death.  
  
Unfortunately, the decision is made without one single thought as I hear the tell-tale of sneakers thumping against the ground.  
  
Feet clad in converse quickly turn left, my heart pounding against my chest like thunder.  
  
 _'Need to hide,'_ I silently command as a frenzied green gaze fluttered about like wings on a bird, searching for a good hiding spot. _'Need to get away. Need to live to see another day!'_  
  
That's all I was focused on: running.  
  
Running.  
  
Running.  
  
And it was that focus that got me killed.  
  
"Eek!" The squeak escapes my lips as strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me against a very firm, very hot body.  
  
Full pink lips part open, only to be closed by a hand snaking over and pressing against them.  
  
"Don't say a word," A deep voice whispers against my ear, shivers racing down my spine as I realized just who the pair of arms belonged to.  
  
 ** _Jayy._**  
  
 _'Oh fuck fuck fuckity fuck,_ ' I screech inside my mind as my heart stops beating while my body trembles like an earthquake as all my senses are heightened.  
  
I could feel the hard muscles pressed against my back (not to mention ass as well and damn would I be lying if I said I wasn't affected).  
  
I could smell the cigarette smoke always surrounding the bad boy and that masculine scent that didn't have a name.  
  
And, if I was correct, I could hear a heart pounding fast against their ribs as if trying to break free...  
  
Or maybe that's just mine.  
  
"Dahvie!" Green eyes widen as I hear Emily calling my name, and I quickly struggle against the tight hold wrapped around my waist like a boa snake.  
  
Sadly, those attempts were all in vain, for Jayy's arms merely tightened against my struggling body.  
  
"I'd stop if I were you," Jayy growls against my ear, and fuck didn't that remind me of my "Dream that shall never ever be mentioned again."   
  
"Unless you'd like for me to take you right here and now," My body stops moving as those words are purred into my ears, my heart freezing  in its' place once I feel a calloused hand slip under my shirt and stroke my stomach, the muscles jumping and twitching beneath the ministrations.  
  
White teeth harshly clamp down on a pink tongue as I try to hold back my moans threatening to escape.  
  
 _'Oh my god,'_ I whimper in my head, my body trembling even harder like a leaf in the autumn wind. _'Oh my fucking god! I try to escape from the boiling pan, and instead I jump head first into the burning fire!'_  
  
A mewl is heard over the sound of harsh breathing and thundering hearts, the silence that had settled around us disappearing in a blink of an eye.  
  
"Someone's sensitive right," Jayy purrs as he brushes his thumb over my taut nipple once more, another mewl escaping my lips as my green eyes rolled to the back of my head (there goes all my dignity). "Here."  
  
My whole fall back into his as my knees turns into jello, mewls escaping my lips every time his rough hand touched me.  
  
 _'Fuck fuck fuck,'_ I silently chant as I attempted (key word here, people, key word) to regain some self-control.  
  
But all thoughts of getting my control soon flies out the window as his fingers pinch my nipple, my whole spazzing as the pleasure washes over me like the rain.  
  
 _'Oh fuck fuck,'_ I silently whimper, my upper teeth tearing into my bottom lip to hold back a loud moan. _'Don't do that again. Don't do that again.'_  
  
However, my body (which is horrible, by the way) was very much against me and was like, "Do that again!" if the way it arched into the touch was any idea.  
  
And unfortunately for me (but fortunately for my body), Jayy noticed that little reaction and repeated the action...  
  
Over...  
  
And over...  
  
And over...  
  
Until I was a whimpering puddle of goo leaning back into his body (which felt like a dark paradise to my aroused body), practically begging for more (and not for the first time, I'm glad Jayy still had his hand over my mouth).  
  
 _'Damn it Dahvie!'_ My conscious growls as I continue to arch into Jayy's touch, _'Snap out of it! You're not supposed to be falling for this boy's evil ways!'_  
  
 _'Can't...stop,'_ Was all I could reply back with as I was once more taken under the wave of pleasure.  
  
 _'You're not supposed to be letting this happen!'_ My conscious continues to screech, _'You're just giving him an even bigger advantage!'_  
  
Yet, as wise and true as the words were, I didn't register them.  
  
More like I couldn't register them, for the words sounded as if they were coming from a distance...  
  
As if I actually were drowning in the sea of excessive pleasure.  
  
 _'Fine! Don't listen to me!'_ My conscious huffs out, _'Don't come crying to me, though, when he leaves you broken hearted.'_  
  
 **That** snapped me out of my trance.  
  
Quicker than a snake, I jerk out of Jayy's arms and turn around, the sound of skin hitting skin echoing around us.  
  
Chest heaving up and down-green eyes dark with lust and anger-I lower my stinging hand, satisfaction and remorse rising from within as I took in Jayy's now red cheek.  
  
Slowly, as if coming out of a dream, Jayy turns his head until his red eyes meets mine.  
  
"You slapped me," Jayy whispered, his voice deadly quiet as he continued to gaze at me.  
  
Red lips part and inhale a deep breath before I spoke, my voice wavering and faltering.  
  
"Y-Yeah...yeah. I-I did."  
  
Everything is quiet.  
  
Not a sound is heard, besides the pounding of our hearts and the blood rushing through our ears.  
  
"I-I..." I start before I falter, my gaze falling on the carpet floor before I snapped my eyes back up, this time green eyes held nothing but unhidden anger. "I'm not like the others, Monroe."  
  
I make sure to spit his name as if it were venom.  
  
"I'm not the kind to just give in to your wicked charms just because you have the body of a god and the voice of a siren," I hiss, my fists clenching together and unclenching as I met his astonished red eyes. "I'm not the kind that'll just roll over and submit to you just to get broken hearted in the end. I'm not the kind that'll keep coming back, hoping, praying, that one day you'll choose me and keep me. I'm not..."  
  
I falter, my lips pursing as I struggled to reign in all the emotions boiling beneath my skin.  
  
"I'm not like that," I finally whisper as I once more meet his eyes, "And I never will be. So do me a fucking favor, and just...just stay away."  
  
And with those final words, I turn on my heels and high tail it out of there.  
  
"Woah there!" Emily shouts as we collide in the hallway, both of us falling down onto the hard tiled floor. "What's up with you? You were running as if the devil himself was on your tail!"  
  
 _'You will never know how true that sentence is,'_ I silently whisper before shaking my head and standing up, holding out a olive hand to help my friend up.  
  
"Thanks," Emily murmurs as she takes the outstretched appendage, easily standing up (and over towering me by a couple of inches). "Where were you?"  
  
I stay silent, my green eyes dropping to the floor before I shrug and start to walk back to homeroom.  
  
"Taking care of some unfinished business," I cryptically answer, stopping and looking over my shoulder with a raised eyebrow. "You coming?"  
  
Emily rolls her eyes, but quickly walks over to me, linking our arms together as she described her adventure of trying to find one Dahvie Vanity.  
  
I nodded my head and smiled at the right moments, but my mind wasn't paying attention to my friend.  
  
Instead, it was focused on Jayy and my parting words.  
  
"I'm not like the others."  
  
 _'And you know what?'_ I silently ask as my green eyes gaze straight ahead, _'I'm right.'_  
  
 _'I'm not like the others.'_  
  
  
  
  
  
   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  



	5. You'll be Mine soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YaoiLover66 reporting for duty! *Salutes* I do not own BOTDF, nor am I implying Jahvie is real, sir! Thoughts are in Italic, ma'am! Please comment and review!

***Jayy's POV**  
  
He slapped me.  
  
The new, innocent kid slapped me.  
  
Me: Jayy Von Monroe, the residential bad boy and player to add to that delicious ice cream sundae.  
  
 _'I can't believe this,'_ I silently say as my red eyes continued to gaze at the spot where Dahvie had stood, my mouth purse but astonishment scrawled all over my face. _'I cannot fucking believe this.'_  
  
Red eyes blink owlishly as I continue to replay them memory over and over.  
  
I was touching him (and I'd be damned if I said I didn't like it).  
  
He was responding, if those hot, erection causing mewls and moans were any proof (Down little Jayy! Down!)  
  
And then suddenly, as if a light switch had been flipped, he tore out of my arms (and I was not hurt that he left my arms. I wasn't at all. And I certainly didn't notice how colder it felt without him) and his olive hand connected with my cheek.  
  
 _'What the hell went wrong?'_ I silently questioned as my frozen legs started moving, walking out of the library and behind the school building for a smoke (god fucking knows I need one). _'Everything was going perfect! He was responding, I was responding, so what the fuck went wrong?'_  
  
A groan escapes pink pierced lips as I feel the distinct throbbing of a headache resounding from my head.  
  
 _'Ah screw it!'_ I growl as my hands reach towards my back pocket and take out a pack of cigarettes, drawing one out and lighting it up.  
  
A relieved breath escapes my mouth as I take a long draw of the number one killer, puffs of black clouds popping out and floating into the air like dark clouds.  
  
 _'Why the hell am I so dead set on getting into Vanity's pants?'_ I silently query, my gaze focused on the black smoke contrasting the blue sky. _'If someone doesn't give in instantly I move on. And yet, here I am, trying and trying and trying to fuck the little minx.'_  
  
 _'Why?'_ Red eyes narrow into snake like slits before I push away all my thoughts, instead turning my focus on to the relaxation coursing through my veins as I continued to draw in the nicotine.  
  
Silence descends around me as my thoughts started wandering, going back to the very first day I saw Dahvie.  
  
 **~Flashback~**  
  
"I can't believe my fucking luck," A dirty blond hair boy growls as he harshly stomps the cigarette underneath his sneakers, green eyes narrowed like the eyes of a snake.  
  
"So what if you got Mr. White as your History teacher?" I shrug my shoulders as I inhale the nicotine sitting inside the cigarette, "It's not the end of the world, Kevin."  
  
"For you it isn't Jayy," Kevin huffs as he starts pacing, the grass beneath his feet slowly deteriorating. "But you don't have the evilest History teacher alive! I heard he intentionally fails anyone who doesn't get an A on any test."  
  
A snort escapes my lips as my green eyes follow my friend's aggravated movements.  
  
"You better get going to class," I murmur as I hear the tell-tale bell ringing, signaling two more minutes until first period.  
  
"Fuck!" Kevin groans as he turns and starts rushing away, not wanting to be late to Mr. White's class. "I'll see you later Jayy!"  
  
Pink lips twitch up in amusement, the sunlight glistening off my lip ring.  
  
 _'You know,'_ My conscious starts, the voice sounding just like my mom's (who i love dearly, by the way). _'You should also be heading to class as well, Jayy.'_  
  
I give my conscious the bitchiest face I can muster.  
  
 _'Hell no!_ ' I answer as I inhale the last bit of nicotine before crushing the cigarette under my converse, _'I don't do school. I don't do teachers either. Or homework for that matter.'_  
  
 _'But you do students?'_ My conscious huffs out, crossing its imaginary arms over its chest.  
  
 _'I do male students, honey,'_ I purr as I start walking back inside the building with a cocky smirk etched over my lips, _'And that's the only exercise I ever want to do.'_  
  
I chuckle softly as I hear an irked groan (yes everyone, I know how crazy that looks) resonate from my conscious before focusing on turning the corner...  
  
Only to stop dead in my tracks.  
  
 _'Well hello beautiful,'_ I silently said as I took in a short male student who had on white skinny jeans (that hugged his very fine ass perfectly) and an Invader Zim shirt, _'I've never seen you before.'_  
  
Quietly, with the footsteps of a cats, I walk closer to the boy while my green eyes raked over his form and appreciated its beauty.  
  
 _'I cannot wait to get in those tight pants,'_ I silently purr as I walked closer to my unsuspecting prey while my eyes remove themselves from his (very fine) ass and moving up to his face, which I saw from an angle.  
  
And yet, even though I could only see half his face, I knew he was someone I wanted.  
  
And I wanted him right fucking now.  
  
Like a snake I strike quickly and silently, grabbing the new boy and slamming him against the locker while pushing my body against his (and I did not shiver in anticipation once I felt how perfect his body felt underneath mine).  
  
I don't speak for a moment, focusing more on making my body behave before I opened my mouth.  
  
"What's a beautiful man like you doing out here all alone?" I question while keeping my voice low and sensational, smirking at the now pink painted cheeks.  
  
Green eyes clash with blue orbs, and suddenly, the air seems a lot thicker than before.  
  
 _'Wow,'_ I silently whisper as my eyes go over his face, taking in the make-up (that added to his beauty), the slowly darkening cheeks (god he was fucking adorable and hot at the same time), and last but not least, the lips.  
  
Those full, pink lips begging to be kissed and bitten on until they were swollen and red.  
  
 _'Fuck!'_ I silently scream, trying to push down the urge to rip all his clothes off and take him right there (I'd prefer the bathroom or janitor's closet unless little innocent is into exhibitionism). _'Calm down Jayy! Don't fuck him right this minute! You have to patiently wait until he wants you.'_  
  
Inhaling a deep breath, I focus on the new boy's wandering gaze that was looking at me as if I were a god.  
  
"Like what you see baby?" I quietly ask while leaning in until my mouth was near his ear.  
  
He shivered, his olive cheeks flushing even darker.  
  
I just...I just couldn't stop myself, because this boy was fucking hot and adorable and innocent (and fuck if the innocent ones didn't turn me on even more. It's something about tainting them, making them lose that purity they carry, that just sends me over the edge).  
  
So I did the one thing I was good at.  
  
I ground my hips down on to his.  
  
And fuck if that wasn't the best thing I ever did in my life, then what is?  
  
Because this boy, he has some serious moans.  
  
They were all low and whimpery and needy and fuck...  
  
Just fuck!  
  
So I  did it again and again and again...  
  
All the while basking in the wonderful, delicious moans he created.  
  
"God I can't wait to get you into my bed," I purr in his ear as I continued my ministrations, smirking as I heard him moan again.  
  
 _'Fuck patience,'_ I finally decide to throw caution to the wind, _'I want this boy naked and underneath me right this instant.'_  
  
Unfortunately for me, the gods weren't on my side (then again, when are they ever?), for just as soon as I was about to take it a step further a voice interrupted me.  
  
"Get the fuck of him, Monroe!"  
  
I bite my pink tongue to hold back my irked growl while turning my dark green eyes on to my number one enemy (and she thinks the same):

Emily Marie Aragon.  
  
"Fuck off, Aragon!" I growl as I pull away (and fuck if it wasn't hard to pounce on the innocent new kid when he whimpered like that).  
  
"Get to class Monroe, and leave Dahvie alone," Aragon snaps as she steps forward, her back straight and blue eyes cold.  
  
"Oh, so the cutie's name is Dahvie?" I inquire as I slide my eyes back onto the flushed panting boy, a smirk crawling over my pierced lip as I noticed his lustful eyes.  
  
"Well then, I'll see you later," I move forward and teasingly brush my lips against his pulse, my smirk growing wider at the shiver I received. _"Dahvie."_  
  
After purring his name in the most seductive voice I could, I quickly turn on my heels and walk down the hallway with a smirk scrawled over my lips and an obvious bulge in my skinny jeans (the price to pay when you wear those kinds of jeans).  
  
 _'Looks like I found my new play toy,'_ I silently purred, my green eyes lit up with delight.  
  
 **~Flashback Ends~**

 _'It had been so easy before!'_ I growl as I crush my third (or was it my fourth?) cigarette and took out another one, lighting it up and inhaling. _'He was supposed to be easy! That's why I thought he'd be my new toy! He responded to my touches before, and still does, so why won't he just give in?!'_  
  
So in tune with my thoughts, I never heard feet walking towards me until a male voice spoke up next to me.  
  
"What's got you so tense?" Red eyes clash with dark brown orbs as one of my friend sidles up next to me, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it up.  
  
"I have no clue what you mean," I flippantly respond, exhaling a cloud of black smoke.  
  
"Don't give me that shit, Jayy," My friend snorts, a pale hand carding through his dirty blond hair. "You smoke a lot, sure, but when you're tense you get a stiff form and you either glare at something or quickly light up another cigarette and basically demolish your whole pack."  
  
I stay quiet, internally cursing my friend for knowing me so fucking well.  
  
"So, depended on time you got out here, I'd say that's either your fourth or fifth cigarette," The dirty blond haired boy murmurs, his dark brown eyes flickering to me before returning to the sky.  
  
"I have no fucking clue," I candidly reply as I inhale another long drag before letting it out, not giving one shit that these things were going to kill me.  
  
"Figures," The boy chuckles, the sound slightly cynical and bitter. "So, spill the beans. What's got the top dog so angry?"  
  
"I'm not angry," I huff out as I put out my cigarette, deciding it'd be better to salvage the remainder of my cigarettes. "I'm just...thinking."  
  
"Don't think too hard. We wouldn't want the last of your brain cells exploding from overwork," The boy teases, snickering as I pushed him (gently of course. I may be evil and cruel, but I'm not that way to my friends).  
  
"Fuck off Kevin," I respond, rolling my red eyes as I leaned back into the brick wall and crossed my arms over my black tank top.  
  
"So, what'cha thinking about, oh mighty leader?" Kevin queries as he finishes his cigarette and crushes it underneath his sneakers, turning his dark brown eyes up so they peered into my face (I'm taller than him. Kevin's about 5'11).  
  
Not a sound is heard as I silent debate whether I really should tell Kevin about my bewilderment.  
  
"Does it have to do anything with the new kid?" Kevin inquires, faltering as his gaze wandered and mouth purse. "Um...what was his name?"  
  
"Dahvie," I instantly answer, shrugging and bluntly ignoring the raised eyebrow I received.  
  
"Yeah, Dahvie," Kevin nods his head, brushing away dirty blond locks that fell in front of his eyes. "This about him?"  
  
My mouth stays closed, my upper teeth pulling at my bottom lip ring, but that was enough of an answer for Kevin.  
  
"What happened?" Kevin questioned, "Did he not give into your charms?"  
  
A growl escapes my lips as I turn my head down to glare at him.  
  
"Fuck you," I hiss, my arms tightening across my chest.  
  
Unfortunately, the thing about my friends is they know I'm nice.  
  
And that's why Kevin was gazing at me with an unimpressed expression.  
  
"Sorry, Jayy, but I don't swing that way," Kevin flippantly responds, a smile curling along his lips as I chuckle at that.  
  
"I can make any guy, straight or gay, fall in love with me," I point out, shooting him a cocky smirk.  
  
"I've already got my sights set on someone," Kevin mumbles as his brown eyes gaze around the scanning.  
  
"Emily, right?" I query, noticing the chance for a topic change and seizing it.  
  
"Yeah," Kevin replies before re-focusing his eyes on to me, "But we're not talking about me. We're talking about you and Dahvie."  
  
Another groan escapes my mouth as I thump my head back onto the wall, red eyes disappearing behind relatively pale eyelids.  
  
"Groan and complain all you want, Jayy," Kevin huffs, "We're going to talk about it either way."  
  
"You do realize I really hate you, right?" I mumble as one red eye opens and glares daggers at him.  
  
"You'll thank me later on," Kevin easily responds while shrugging his shoulders.  
  
"Not in hell," I quietly whisper as my eye flutters closed, basking in the darkness surrounding my vision.  
  
"So, talk," Kevin commands, his deep voice surprisingly gently but firm.  
  
"What's there to tell?" I ask as I re-open my eyes and shrug my shoulders, my hands twitching for another cigarette. "I want him. He wants me, but keeps fighting me for some fucking reason."  
  
Kevin stays silent, whether it was to encourage me to continue or to ponder on what I said, I didn't know.  
  
Because as soon as the words were out of my mouth and flying through the air, they just kept coming out.  
  
"I mean, seriously! I was this close to having him putty in my hands," I growl as I jerk away from the wall and start pacing around like a caged lion, pale hands carding through black hair. "And then he goes and jerks away from me and he has the nerve to slap me! Then he goes on a rant about how he's not like the others and won't fall for my evil ways and blah blah blah!"  
  
Feet clothed in black boots stop pacing as a I inhale deep breaths, stuffing down the anger and outrage boiling beneath my skin.  
  
And all through this exchange, Kevin stayed quiet while brown eyes bore into my figure with a spark of perceptiveness lighting up his eyes.

"I just..." A sigh filled with exhaustion escapes its prison as I walk back to the wall and sag against it, my body feeling as if I were one hundred years old instead of sixteen. "I just don't understand why he keeps fighting me. I don't understand why he just won't give in to something he wants so badly, you know? I just..."  
  
The words trail off, my voice dying as I turned my eyes up to the bright blue sky that was filled with puffy white clouds.  
  
Not a sound is heard, both of us lost in our own thoughts, but the rustling of the green leaves growing on the wooden trees.  
  
"If you're so irritated, why keep going after him?" Kevin finally questions, "There's plenty of fish out in this sea, Jayy. There are a couple of new kids besides Dahvie. Why not go after one of them?"  
  
As if someone had possessed me, I shake my head and vocalize my thoughts.  
  
"They're not the same. I want Dahvie. I fucking want him. Not the other fish. I want him."  
  
I sigh, my body slouching as I ran hands over my face before looking down and meeting brown orbs.  
  
"Maybe you want him so much," Kevin starts slowly while holding my gaze, "Because he's a challenge."  
  
My body freezes as if someone had poured ice all over me, the words echoing in my ears.  
  
 **"Because he's a challenge."**  
  
 **"Because he's a challenge."**  
  
 _'Oh,'_ I silently say as my red eyes widen into bowls, _'Oh.'_  
  
"Oh," I echo my silent words as I finally start to function properly once more, "Oh."  
  
"I think I just broke the Jayy Von Monroe," Kevin murmurs, smirking at my outraged expression.  
  
"Fuck you, bitch," I huff out, though the words held no real heat.  
  
"You feel better now?" Kevin murmurs, all traces of teasing gone in a flash.  
  
"Yeah," I nod my head, shooting him a thankful smile. "Thanks Kev."  
  
"No problem J," Kevin waves off my gratitude while pushing away from the wall and heading back inside the building before stopping and looking at me from over his shoulder. "You coming?"  
  
"Nah," I shake my head side to side, "I'll catch up with you later."  
  
"Mkay," Kevin quietly responds before continuing his journey to hell.  
  
Red eyes watch Kevin's form grow smaller and smaller before disappearing, leaving me all alone.  
  
 _'So,'_ I start as my gaze moves towards the sky, _'I'm going after Dahvie just because he's a challenge? That's why I can't the short, sexy man out of my head? Because he hasn't fallen for me like all the other boys?'_  
  
 **"I'm not the kind to just give in to your wicked charms,"** He said.  
  
 _"_ **I'm not the kind that'll just roll over and submit to you just to get broken hearted in the end,"** He snapped.  
  
 **"I'm not like the others,"** He whispered.  
  
A smirk, sadistic and pure fucking evil, crawls over my lips as my red eyes twinkle like the stars in the midnight sky.  
  
 _'Not like the others, you say?'_ I silently ask as I push away from the wall and start walking towards the school, _'Well then, I guess I'll just have to prove you wrong.'_  
  
 _'Watch out, Dahvie Vanity,'_ I internally pur as my tall figure walked through the front doors and down the hallway, _'This demon's on a mission. And that mission is making you realize that no matter how hard you fight me, no matter how hard you deny it, you're just like the others.'_  
  
 _'You'll be mine,'_ I silently swore, _'You'll be mine soon.'_  
  
And it was with that promise that I started that little game known as, "Cat and Mouse."  
  
  
  



	6. He'll be the death of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Babababababababa!!! I wababa do not wababa own BOTDF baba baba nor am I implying wababa Jahvie is real :) Thoughts are in italic, and remember to comment! Thanks and enjoy!

***Dahvie's POV**  
  
Have you ever woken up one morning with this feeling in your gut?  
  
You know, the kind where your intestines are knotting together, your tummy's churning as if on a boat, and you basically feel like this is doomsday?  
  
Yeah? Well, that's how I felt the next morning.  
  
 _'Why the fuck am I so scared?'_ I continued to ask myself as I went about doing my morning routine, putting on a blue shirt that hugged my upper body and some black skinny jeans before starting on my make-up.  
  
 _'Is it...'_ I falter, my black eyeliner freezing mid-way as my purple eyes shot to my still stinging hand. 'Is it guilt? Remorse? Am I...am I actually sad that I hit Jayy?'   
  
 _'No!' I silently deny as I start applying the make-up,_ 'I don't regret it! Jayy deserved it! He shouldn't have touched me!'  
  
 _'Even though you liked it?'_ My conscious questions, an imaginary eyebrow raised.  
  
I stop moving, my purple eyes wide before narrowing as my lips pursed to hold in all the wonderful colorful words I'd just love to say.  
  
 _'I did not like it!'_ I snap as I throw down my eyeliner, not being able to sit still any longer with all the emotions and words running through my body.  
  
 _'You responded to the touches, though,'_ My conscious points out as I stormed inside my room and grabbed my bag, turning on the heels of my converse and walking down the stairs.  
  
 _'I'm sixteen,'_ I hiss back in reply as my purple eyes glare down at the carpet as if it had somehow personally offended me, _'A sixteen hormonal bisexual male. Of course I'll respond to it! But it's just because I'm horny!'_  
  
 _'Keep telling yourself that,'_ My conscious scoffs before disappearing, not speaking a word even when I called for it.  
  
 _'Fuck you!'_ I spit in a farewell as I walk into the kitchen, ignoring my mom's "Good morning."  
  
Instead, I glared at the table with snake like slits, a pursed mouth, and unhidden anger glittering from my eyes.  
  
"What's got you so worked up?" Mom inquires as she sets a plate of breakfast in front of me.  
  
"It's nothing," I snap, shoveling a toast in my mouth and harshly chewing it while imagining it to be my conscious (who was a bitch, by the way).  
  
"Don't use that tone on me, mister," Mom growls, brown eyes narrowed.  
  
Instantly I deflate like a popped balloon.  
  
"I'm sorry," I murmur, sincere remorse articulated through my tone. "I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed."  
  
"Mhm," Mom responds, giving me her best "I don't believe you but I'll let it slide this time."  
  
"Really," I push, purple clashing with brown.  
  
"Whatever you say, Dahvie," Was all mom said before getting up and washing out her mug, kissing my head and telling me to be good.  
  
Once I hear the front door close I push my plate away, my appetite suddenly disappearing as that dread I felt this morning reappeared.  
  
 _'What's wrong with me today?'_ I silently inquire as I gaze into my orange juice glass, hoping it would hold the answers to all my questions. _'Why the fuck am I so...so scared? Why am I dreading this day? What the fuck am I even dreading?!'_  
  
An irked sigh escapes my lips before I push away from the table and throw the remaining food in the trash, washing the dirty plate and walking out the front door.  
  
I slide into my car, throwing my bag in the passenger seat and starting the ignition before pulling out of the driveway and heading to school.  
  
And you know what the really fucked up thing was?  
  
That dread I felt earlier kept intensifying the closer I got to Dunedin High.

* * *

"What's up with you?" Emily sidles up next to me, her brown hair tied up in a ponytail and body covered in her gym clothes (which consisted of black basketball shorts and a white V-neck shirt).  
  
"I have no clue what you mean," I mumble as I tie my shoelaces together, my white teeth grinding together to hold back the anger that Emily didn't deserve.  
  
"Don't give me that crap, Dahv's," Emily murmurs while grabbing me by my shoulder and turning me until we were face to face (well, my face to her chest, which was really awkward so I looked up).  
  
"Let it go, Em," I whisper quietly, my purple eyes moving towards the wall standing behind Emily so she wouldn't see the obvious lie.  
  
"Dahvie," Emily warned, her voice taking on that-what I internally labeled-"Mother" tone.  
  
"Emily," I reply, using the same exact tone while giving her my bitchy expression.  
  
Emily sighs, her brows furrowing and blue eyes shining with concern.  
  
"I'm just worried about you, Dahvie," Emily quietly whispers as she brushes a hand through my hair (she was the only one allowed to do that. my hair is very sacred to me. I mean, you spend thirty to sixty minutes on your hair, see how you feel then!). "You've been so jumpy all day, as if you're expecting someone to come out and jump you."  
  
"Wait a minute," Emily instantly hisses, her blue eyes turning into icicles. "Did Jayy do something to you? Is that why you've been scared all day? Where the fuck is that asshole?!"  
  
She removes her hands and starts walking away from me while her eyes scans the room for said bad boy, but I grasp her arm before she could do anything.

"Calm down, Em," I soothingly say as I pull her back towards me, "I haven't seen Jayy since the library incident."

 _'Oh shit,'_ I silently curse as the words slip out of my mouth, purple eyes widening into giant O's.  
  
"Library incident?!" Emily snarls, this time rounding on me with fury radiating from her form.  
  
Fortunately for me, the gym coach chose that exact moment to walk in and ordered us to do ten laps.  
  
We all quickly obeyed, though not before Emily jerked me into her side and hissed in my ear, "We are going to talk about this later."  
  
And I may or may not have whimpered because it was that exact moment that I realized I was friends with the devil.  
  
 _'I'm doomed!'_ I silently wailed as I jogged with the rest of the students, Emily way ahead me (and judging by how fast she was running, I'd say that she was imaging the floor to be Jayy's face). _'Is this why I've dreaded all day? Because deep down I knew I was friends with a monster?'_  
  
I shook my head, choosing instead to focus on the thumping of my feet and the pounding of my heart.  
  
It was when we were doing stretches that everything went to hell.  
  
So, there I was, bending down and trying to reach my feet (and I was almost succeeding!) while minding my own business.  
  
Everything was perfectly fine.  
  
It wasn't until the coach (whose name was Mr. Clark) spoke the name of a boy that I certainly did not want to see that all the perfection built up was annihilated.  
  
"Monroe! Cole! You're late!"  
  
Quicker than a cheetah, my head snaps up while my purple eyes bug out of my sockets as I notice Jayy (who look mouth watering in that black tank and sweats) and a dirty blonde haired boy standing next to him.  
  
"Sorry coach," Jayy responds, though judging by his tone he was not sorry at all.  
  
"Well don't just stand there!" Mr. Clark snaps as he waves to all the other students who were all looking up in shock, "Go and join the rest of your fellow classmates!"  
  
"Did I say stop stretching?!" Mr. Clark rounds on us, glaring at us with his beady black eyes.  
  
We quickly got in our previous position while I turned my head to the left, meeting Emily's hard and astonished blue eyes.  
  
"Why does everyone look so surprised?" I mouthed to my brown haired friend, my brows furrowed as I kept trying to reach my feet.  
  
"What?" Emily mouths back, her brows furrowing in bafflement.  
  
"I said-" I start to mouth, this time more slowly, but all that leaves my mouth is a yelp mixed with a squeak.  
  
"What the hell?!" I exclaim as I jump up, turning around with red rosy cheeks only to meet amused blue eyes.  
  
"Sorry," Jayy apologizes, though insincerity was the only thing I heard from his tone. "I just couldn't resist you when your ass was in the air, begging to be smacked."  
  
And you know what I did?  
  
Nothing.  
  
I just stood there, cheeks painted tomato red, and gaped as he walked away with a smirk etched on his lips.  
  
"Did that asshole seriously fucking do that?" Emily growls as she starts standing up and attempting to move towards the sly snake.  
  
"Vanity! Aragon! Did I say you could stand?!" Mr. Clark glares at us and we quickly return to our previous placement, my cheeks indelibly painted red.  
  
"Are you okay?" Emily queries as we all finally stand up and line up at the red line, waiting for the coach to finish his spiel about rules.  
  
"I'm fine," I mumble, my cheeks flushing once more as I replayed that memory.  
  
 _'I can't believe he had the nerve to slap my ass!'_ I silently scream inside my head, my body tensing up as I feel another presence join my other side.  
  
"Go stand somewhere else," I hiss under my breath as I keep my eyes on the coach.  
  
"Why?" Jayy quietly asks, the smirk easily heard through his tone. "I like it here."  
  
And just to prove his point, he has the nerve to graze his hand against my ass.  
  
Again.  
  
White teeth clamp down as I push the boiling anger away, shoving it inside a room and locking the door.  
  
"Stop it," I growl, trying to move closer to Emily (who was having her own problems, but I didn't notice).  
  
"Can't," Jayy purred, leaning way too close as his hand groped my ass. "You're ass is too fine to resist."  
  
My cheeks turn red as I feel him kneading my ass and oh...  
  
 **Oh...**  
  
A pink tongue is harshly bitten as I attempt to keep in the moans threatening to escape my throats.  
  
"G-G-Get..." I stop, my upper teeth biting my bottom lip as Jayy continued his (delicious) ministrations. "O-O-Off."  
  
"You don't sound very convincing," Jayy purred in my ear, shivers coursing down my spine and arousal spiking up in my blood (damn it Mr. Clark! Where the fuck did you go?!).  
  
"F-F-Fuck, ah," That's it.   
  
My olive cheeks will no longer be olive colored.  
  
They would forever be red from both pleasure and embarrassment because I just moaned.  
  
I just moaned out loud.  
  
 _'Fuck!_ ' I scream in my head as I quickly jerk back and straight into the cushioned wall.  
  
Dark purple eyes turn and glare daggers at a smirking Jayy.  
  
"You're an asshole," I hiss while my body stiffens as he suddenly starts moving towards me, my cheeks turning even redder as his blue eyes rake over my body as if it were statue he needed to worship.  
  
 _'Oh god, don't ever say that again Dahvie!'_ I screech at myself as images of being worshiped by Jayy flashed across my mind (and let me tell you now, it wasn't the innocent kind of worshiping).  
  
Luckily, the fates were on my side because before Jayy could get any closer to me, Mr. Clark returned and called Jayy and Kevin as the team captains.  
  
Breathing a sigh of relief, I remove myself from the wall and walk back towards Emily, taking in her normally pale cheeks flushed red.  
  
"You okay?" I quietly inquire, purple eyes searching my normally strong friend's face.  
  
"Fucking peachy," She snaps, her pale arms crossing over her stomach in a defensive way.  
  
"I feel your pain," I mutter, my gaze turning on to Jayy...  
  
Who was looking straight at me with a smirk.  
  
 _'Uh oh,'_ I silently said as I noticed that smirk.  
  
It was an evil, sadistic smirk that said, "I have a plan."  
  
"Dahvie," Jayy spoke, breaking the silence that had descended around the gym.  
  
Purple eyes narrow into slits as I gaze at the bad boy, silently wondering why he called my name.  
  
"We don't have all day Vanity!" Mr. Clark growls while turning his beady eyes onto my face, "Get your butt over to Jayy's team!"  
  
 _'Oh god,'_ I silently whimper, my face turning ashen as I remembered that being captains meant picking whoever they wanted. _'Do you hate me? Is that why you created a guy like Jayy? To make me suffer for some unknown sin I made?'_  
  
"Come on, Dahvie," Jayy all but purred, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "I don't bite...much."  
  
A shiver (it wasn't from fear or the cold, that's for sure) runs down my spin before I swallow down the lump in my throat and slowly, on trembling legs, walk towards my doom.  
  
Making sure to give a wide gap between me and Jayy, I patiently wait for the dirty blond haired boy (Kevin, my mind provides) to choose.  
  
"Emily," Kevin calls, a smirk on his pale face.  
  
 _'No!'_ I whine silently, my bottom lip jutting out (and tempting Jayy while doing said action) as I watched my female friend walk over to him. _'Not fair! Em should've been with us!'_  
  
 _'Look's like she has her own problems,'_ My conscious murmurs, causing me to snap out of my self-pity.  
  
And sure enough, just like me, she was leaving a wide gap between Kevin and herself.  
  
 _'I wonder if he's like Jayy?'_ I silently question, my eyes (without my control) flickering towards Jayy before quickly moving away when I notice him staring at me.  
  
 _'God damn him!'_ I silently curse, my cheeks heating up once more (and he didn't even do anything!).  
  
So in tune with my thoughts, I never noticed Jayy picking other people until Mr. Clark told us to line up against our side's walls.  
  
Converse feet slowly move towards the wall, dragging its weight so I wouldn't be stuck next to Jayy.  
  
No such luck.  
  
In fact, and I'm pretty sure he did this to piss me off, he walked slower than I did!  
  
It was like a snail walking.  
  
Seriously.  
  
Mentally groaning, I push my back against the wall and try to ignore Jayy's smug presence.  
  
"If you ever need someone to come and save your cute little ass, I'm the man for the job," Jayy quietly whispers, his blue eyes boring a hole into my face while Mr. Clark worked on turning the stereo on.  
  
"I'm not a girl!" I snap, all thoughts of ignoring the player flying out my head as angry purple eyes clashed with amused blue orbs. "Nor am I in distress. And if I ever was in distress, I can easily get myself out of it."  
  
"I never said you were a girl," Jayy shrugged his shoulders before leaning in close, blue eyes sparkling like diamonds. "Although, once your in my bed you will be."

My mouth falls open, my cheeks flushing bright pink, as I gape at him.  
  
"A-Are you s-saying I-I'd be the g-girl?" I stutter out, purple eyes wide and mouth hanging open.  
  
"Of course you would be, baby," Jayy purrs like a chesire cat, leaning even closer until our faces were inches apart (and I didn't even notice! I was too focused on being called the girl in a relationship to notice Jayy and stupidly sexy face). "That's how our relationship works."  
  
 _'We don't have a relationship,'_ My conscious huffs out while I continue to be rendered useless, my mouth still hanging open in shock.  
  
"You better close that unless you're going to make good use of it," Jayy seductively whispers against my ear, his teeth catching the unsuspecting earlobe and slowly tugging it.  
  
Pink lips instantly slam close while my upper teeth bites my lower lip to hold in the mewl wanting to escape, my knees shaking like an earthquake.  
  
Jayy pulls away with a triumphant smirk scrawled over his lips before turning his gaze onto the colored balls sitting upon the line, acting as if nothing had happened.  
  
"Go!" Mr. Clark shouts over the music, a blur of colors shooting past him and gripping the balls.  
  
I stayed back, my body frozen as I tried to regain some control of myself.  
  
 _'It's official,'_ I silently said as my eyes swiveled to Jayy's tall form, _'Jayy Von Monroe will be the death of me...'_  
  
 _'Either that or I'll end up in jail for murdering a fellow classmate,_ ' I continued, snorting at that thought before getting into the game.  
  
 _'My excuse? It was because he flirted with me and molested me at every corner (No need to tell them that my body responded or that I had a wet dream about him. Irrelevant facts)!'_

* * *

"I hate gym!" Emily snarls as we re-unite and start walking towards the cafeteria, her blue eyes narrowed into icy crystals (I'm not even exaggerating! If looks could kill there'd be a lot of bodies dropping).  
  
"How do you think I feel?" I grumble as we stand in line, my lips curled back distastefully as I remember how flirty (not to mention touchy) Jayy got with me.  
  
I literally lost count after six on how many times he groped, kneaded (and no I did not like it! Even though I kinda did), and slapped my ass!  
  
"Just as angry and pissed off as I am," Emily answers, grabbing a salad container and two water bottles (I grabbed the main lunch this time. It was corn dogs).  
  
Emily hands me one of the water bottles and moves towards the register line, my shorter body following her.  
  
"Why was everyone so shocked today?" I inquire as we both put in our student I.D's.  
  
"Because Jayy and Kevin never go to their classes," Emily explains while handing her money to the lunch lady and waiting for me.  
  
I follow suite, giving the cafeteria lady a smile (which she returned) before walking towards Emily.  
  
"Ever?" I query, turning and gazing at her with bewildered purple eyes.  
  
"Ever," Emily clarifies, her mouth thinning into a straight line (she always got that look whenever Jayy was mentioned).  
  
"How the hell did they get to tenth grade then?" I inquire, a frown marring my face as we walked towards our booth...  
  
Only to stop dead in our tracks.  
  
For there, sitting in all their glory, was Jayy and Kevin.  
  
"You've got to be fucking me," Emily and I hiss at the same time, our eyes narrowed.  
  
"Well hello there," Kevin purrs, his blue eyes focused mainly on Emily (who looked even angrier, if that was possible). "Is this your booth?"  
  
"Yes," Emily snaps, her eyes glaring laser beams at Kevin.  
  
"Well then, I hope you don't mind us joining you lovely students," Kevin charmingly says, his lips curling up into an innocent smile.  
  
"No thank you," Emily huffs turning and scanning the cafeteria for empty seats, "I'd much rather sit somewhere else."  
  
Luck, apparently, was not on our side for we came up empty.  
  
"Would you look at that?" My eyes move to Jayy who had spoken, his blue eyes boring into my purple orbs. "There seems to be no more empty seats. Aw!"  
  
He gives us a fake sad expression, but it was all ruined by the smirk twitching at the corner of his lips.  
  
"This is just fucking great," Emily hisses under her breath before turning towards Kevin, "Get out and sit with Monroe."  
  
"Nah," Kevin shrugs, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head. "I feel quite comfortable here."  
  
"Listen here you fucking ass-" I quickly intervene when I notice Emily's murderous expression.  
  
"Woa, woa! Chill Em," I murmur as I step in front of her, "Let them sit where they want. I'll sit next to Cole and you sit next to Monroe, okay?"  
  
I patiently wait for the nod, and once I receive it (albeit a little jerky), I slide in next to Kevin.  
  
"Aw! And I was hoping you'd sit next to me, Dahvie kins," Jayy pouts.  
  
"Don't call me that!" I snap while glaring at the bad boy before turning my attention on my food, but not before sharing a secret look with Emily.  
  
"This is going to be hell," We both communicated with our eyes.  
  
And it was.  
  
Everything was going fine.  
  
Emily and I pointedly ignored the bad boys and just talked about our classes, also ignoring their inputs.  
  
It wasn't until I felt a foot push between my thighs did I acknowledge Jayy.  
  
"Stop it," I mouthed as I reached under the table and pushed said foot away, praying Emily hadn't seen it.  
  
All I recieved was a smirk in return.  
  
Giving him one last glare, I turn to Emily who was glaring at Kevin.  
  
I open my mouth to start talking but quickly close it, biting my tongue to hold back a moan as I felt Jayy's foot once more push between my thighs.  
  
I give him another glare, this time deciding not to do anything about it.  
  
 _'The more I fight, the harder he's going to try something,'_ I reasoned as I took a bite of my corn dog, trying to ignore the sensation of something pressed against my sacred part. _'If I don't do anything, he'll pull away.'_  
  
I can honestly say that was the most dumbest reasoning I've ever made, and let me tell you, I've made a lot of stupid reasons.  
  
It started of soft first, barely noticable.  
  
But then it grew quicker, harsher, and my face flushed bright red when I realized what Jayy was doing.  
  
 _'Oh my fucking god!_ ' I squeaked inside my head as my breathing started coming out heavier, my face colored red. _'Is he actually doing this?'_  
  
Olive hands reach down and attempt to push off the offending appendage, but no luck.  
  
Purple eyes turn to glare at blue eyes, saying without words to stop.  
  
Yet, for some fucking reason (I have a feeling it has more to do with pissing me off than Jayy's actual intelligence), Jayy took that look as to keep going.  
  
I can honestly say I hated myself at that moment, because little Dahvie?  
  
Yeah, wasn't so little anymore.  
  
And Jayy fucking Monroe knew it too.  
  
Luckily though, I have an amazing friend who instantly noticed my heated face and acted.  
  
Emily shot out of the booth and grabbed my arm, dragging me out of the cafeteria with curses constantly mumbled under her breath.  
  
 _'I'm saved from the evil sinner!'_ I silently praised, mentally kissing the ground Emily walked on.

* * *

"May I die?" I overdramatically question, turning my purple eyes on Emily as we hid in the janitor's closet.  
  
"Will you take me with you?" Emily shoots back, her normally pale face redder than a strawberry.  
  
"Yes," I instantly answer, trying to will down my own blush.  
  
"Then yes, you may," Emily softly murmurs as she gazes at the closet's door.  
  
We're silent for a few moments, our ears straining to hear anything besides our labored breathing.  
  
"I can't believe them!" I finally hiss, my heart thundering against my ribs as I replayed the moment in the cafeteria over and over.  
  
"I can," Emily bitterly mutters, her blue eyes glaring at everything but nothing. "They're asshole's and players and they've set their fucking sights on us and won't let us go until we give in."  
  
"But we won't give in!" I snap, my hands clenching and unclenching as I tried to rid the feeling of Jayy's foot on my crotch.  
  
 _'Thank god Emily noticed I was being touched and got us out of there,'_ I silently praised my female friend, _'I don't know how long I would've lasted before I snapped. And getting in trouble is something I really don't need. Too bad I didn't notice what was going on between her and Kevin.'_  
  
"Then we're doomed for eternity until someone else captures their attention," Emily simply states, bringing me out of my thoughts.  
  
My body sags as I repeat my previous words from earlier, the feeling of a foot moving up and down on my anatomy permanently imprinted on my skin.  
  
 _'Jayy Von Monroe will be the death of me.'_  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  



	7. My First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill: I don't own BOTDF. I am not implying Jahvie is real. Thoughts are in italic. I hope you enjoy. Please comment. Also, if this title didn't make you think of "My first kiss" by Kesha and 3OH3 (sorry if it's spelled wrong) then I have no clue what will. Also, this story contains smut; it's not actual smut, but described smut. Viewers have been warned.

***Dahvie's POV**  
  
"Vanity! Get your butt back here now!" I freeze, my feet instantly ceasing their movements as my electric blue eyes shoot over to Mr. Clark.  
  
Giving Emily a "go ahead. I'll catch up" expression, I force my frozen legs to start moving back towards the coach.  
  
"You wanted to see me, Mr. Clark?" I quietly question as I hesitatingly approach the gym teacher, running through my memories to find out what I did wrong.  
  
"Yes, Vanity, I wanted to ask you a couple of questions," Mr. Clark starts, voice rough but filled with concern.  
  
"O...kay?" I falter before answering, giving him a baffled look.  
  
"That Monroe kid," Mr. Clar starts, noticing the way my body stiffen upon hearing that name. "Is he giving you trouble? Making you feel...uncomfortable in your surrounding?"  
  
Full pink lips part as my jaw hits the floor, astonished electric blue eyes gazing at Mr. Clark (you know, the guy that's really mean and makes a work a lot harder than we should) who was actually showing concern.  
  
"Has Monroe ever, er, touched you in a way you did not want?" Mr Clark coughs out the last question, his black eyes looking anywhere but me as he attempted to his how uncomfortable he felt.  
  
"No!" I deny, shaking my sweaty black hair. "No, god no. He just teases me. It's all harmless, really."  
  
 _'Why are you lying to the first teacher who has actually showed concern for you?'_ My conscious questions, puzzlement articulated through its tone.  
  
 _'I...'_ I falter, my electric blue eyes dropping to the floor as I gnaw on my bottom lip. _'I have no clue.'_  
  
Shaking my head to rid myself of thoughts I really did not want to ponder, I turned my attention back on to Mr. Clark.  
  
"Are you sure?" Mr. Clark queries, "I mean, I saw him slap your butt today, so..."  
  
Olive cheeks flame pink as I silently freaked out, wondering how the hell to answer that question.  
  
"I do care about my students, Dahvie," Mr. Clark starts, laying a hand on my shoulder as he gazed into my eyes. "I may be hard on them and yell at how moronic you guys all are, but in the end my intentions are pure. I want you guys to succeed, so I'm training you in my own way."  
  
"By making sure sticks and stones won't break our bones?" I sarcastically inquire, a small smile tugging at my lips as I subtly took the opportunity to change topics..  
  
"Exactly!" Mr. Clark claps my shoulder, pushing me forward as he did so. "Now, get out of my gym and go to lunch. God knows you teenagers are unbearable when you're hungry."  
  
A laugh escapes my lips as I follow his orders, stopping at the door to throwing a parting farewell over my shoulder.  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Clark."  
  
The only I receive is a hand gesture.  
  
Grinning, I walk into the locker room and quickly change back into my outfit before walking out into the cafeteria.  
  
It isn't that simple though.  
  
My life never is.  
  
Because leaning against the metal lockers was a boy I did not want to see ever.  
  
Jayy Von Monroe.  
  
 _'Just ignore him,'_ I silently commanded as I continued to walk towards the cafeteria doors.  
  
 _'Yeah, that went real swell last time,'_ My conscious sarcastically states, to which I bluntly ignore just because I could.  
  
“What took you so long, baby?” Jayy calls out from his spot against the lockers, a smirk heard through his tone. “My cock was was practically dying from a serious case of blue balls."  
  
“That’s why you've got hands, Monroe!” I snap in reply as I continue walking towards the cafeteria, my pace slightly faster than before.  
  
Unfortunately, Jayy noticed my rapid movement and stepped in front of me while leaning his face close to mine (which made me stop and walk backwards).  
  
“Why settle for such trivial things,” Jayy starts while the words slowly rolled off his sinful tongue, “When I can settle for the tightness of your ass?”  
  
My olive cheeks flame red as I continue backing away, a cheshire smirk growing over Jayy’s lips as he followed me.  
  
“F-F-Fuck o-o-off M-Monroe,” I growl, my voice wavering and trembling as my heart started to clench in that all too familiar way (fear, people. A whole shit load of fear).  
  
“Nah, that’s too boring,” Jayy flippantly states as he continues to back me in the corner like the mouse I knew I was in this game. “Why do that when I could have fun with you?”  
  
“Teasing you and taunting you at every corner,” Suddenly Jayy strikes, closing in on me like the prey he knew I was. “Making you so hard and so aroused. You’re pretty eyes darkened with lust for me.”  
  
A mewl escapes my lips as he suddenly takes my earlobe between his teeth, tugging and nibbling on it while causing my knees to buckle and turn into jelly.  
  
“G-G-Get…” I waver, another moan escaping my parted mouth. “Get o-o-off!”  
  
Olive arms reach up and futilely push him away, causing minimal damage.  
  
Jayy pulls away, an arrogant smirk etched on his lips as he took in my disheveled panting form.  
  
“You like what I do to you,” Jayy states, bright green eyes raking over my flushed form. “Don’t deny it. I can see the effect I have on you.”  
  
Electric blue eyes narrow and glare ice daggers at the tall boy, though the effect was ruined by the red cheeks and bottom lip.  
  
“I-I-I do n-not,” I geny as I tried to calm myself down, my eyes flickering around for some form of escape.  
  
“Yes, you do Dahvie,” Jayy growls, the deep tone turning me on even more (and that is not what I want). “Why can’t you just give in? Why not give in to temptation, to the thing you so clearly want?”  
  
“I could make you feel so good,” Jayy’s voice dropped an octave lower (and who knew how hot that sounded?), stepping closer to me and looking down with dark eyes. “So good. Make every night the best night ever.”  
  
Shivers were coursing down my spine and Goosebumps were popping all over my arms as Jayy continued as if he was speaking about the weather (how the fuck can he be so casual when talking about sex I will never know), his words sinking into my brain like claws and producing images that made my already hard dick even harder.  
  
“First I’d scissor you- your virginal muscles clenching tighter and tighter around the intruders as I slowly moved in-stretching you so you’d be able to take my nice big cock while taking your virginity inch by inch. I’d feel you clench around my dick as I enter you, thrusting over and over until I hit that little spot that makes you feel so fucking good, stars shooting across your vision as you scream my name while you cum hard.”  
  
And it with those detailed words, those evil sinful words that I snapped.  
  
Because, let’s be honest, how much more sexual abuse can a Bisexual, horny male student take?  
   
"I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual lewd comments. “I hate you, and your stupid fucking face, and your stupidly fucking gorgeous body, and your stupid sexual comments that make me more aroused than I ever have been and I. Fucking.Hate.You.”  
  
"That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."  
  
And before I could do or say something, his lips crashed down on mine.  
  
The worst thing was that this kiss was perfect.  
  
It was...it was everything and anything.  
  
There was fireworks shooting across my vision and electricity coursing through my nerves and it was just fucking perfect.  
  
Electric blue eyes widen as my first kiss is stolen before they glaze over in passion and flutter shut, moving my lips against his in a dance that was as old as time.  
  
A pink tongue peeks out and runs against my lower lip, shivers running down my spine at the action (is this how a kiss feels like? Because, damn, why the hell wasn't I doing it sooner?), asking for permission to enter a land no one has yet discovered.  
  
And you want to know what I did?  
  
I granted it.  
  
I motherfucking granted Jayy Von Monroe permission to enter my mouth.  
  
And fuck if it wasn't the best thing that had happened to me.  
  
Moans, mewls, whimpers all escape my occupied mouth only to be swallowed up by Jayy.  
  
 _'Fuck,'_ Is the only coherent thought that passes through my mind as Jayy brushes his tongue against mine, the electricity thrumming beneath my skin intensifying with each kiss.  
  
Unfortunately, oxygen became a necessary, and thus Jayy had to pull away.  
A whimper of lost flies out of my mouth as I open up my lust filled blue eyes, the only sound was our labored breathing in the silent hallway.  
  
The great thing was I wasn't the only one affected, judging by Jayy's dark eyes that were trained on my lips.  
  
"That at least gives you a taste of temptation," Jayy whispers, his voice breathless. "Maybe you'll give in now that you know what's in store for you."  
  
And with those words, Jayy turns on his heels and walks away while never looking back.  
  
 _'Holy shit,'_ I silently said as my gaze followed him before turning up to the ceiling, my head thumping against the lockers. _'Jayy Von Monroe just kissed me. He fucking kissed me.'_  
  
 _'Jayy Von Monroe just stole my first kiss (one that mattered anyway),'_ I realized as I continued to gaze unseeingly up at the roof, _'And I liked it.'_  
  
For some reason, those thoughts didn't disturb me as I expected they would.  
  
That?  
  
That's worst than the kiss I just experienced.  
  
Shaking my head, I tore myself from my thoughts and walked in the cafeteria on trembling legs.  
  
"Dahvie!" Emily calls out, waving a pale hand in the air.  
  
Electric blue eyes follow the sound, taking in the empty booth she sat at, before walking towards her.  
  
"Where the hell ahve you been?!" Emily iqnuires, her brows furrowed and blue eyes worried. "I was getting worried!"  
  
"Sorry Em," I give her a small apologetic smile, "Mr. Clark wanted to talk to me and it took longer than expected."  
  
"I'd believe that," Emily starts, her eyes narrowing as she pointedly stared at my lips. "If it wasn't for the fact that you're face is red, lips swollen, and, unless that's a pen in your pants, aroused."  
  
 _'I'm not aroused anymore,'_ I silently said, _'There is nothing more turn offing than knowing your best friend (unless your in love with them) knows something sexual just happened to you.'_  
  
"Let it go, Em," I murmur, "Please."  
  
Emily sighs, the sound filled with disappointment and anger, before speaking.  
  
"Somedays, Dahv, I really wonder what planet you live on."  
  
"Candyland!" I instantly answer, grinning as my best friend snorted and laughed.  
  
"They better have blow pops there," Emily huffs, giving me an amused grin.  
  
"They have everything and anything you could ever wish for," I reply before shooting off into a length explanation about the planet Candyland, ignoring the tingling sensation covering my lips.

***Jayy's POV**

Friday.  
  
What a lovely day.  
  
The day school ends and starts the weekend every teenager longs for.  
  
Friday also happened to be the best day of my life.  
  
Why?  
  
Oh, that's easy:  
  
Dahvie Vanity.  
  
The innocent kid I've been after for quite some time.  
  
The one that, a week into our little cat and mouse game, finally snapped.  
  
A smirk twists over my lips as I walk down the empty hallways, all the students gone after the bell had rang to signal the weekend had started.  
  
 _'Don't you think you may have been too harsh on the poor boy?'_ My conscious quietly questions, _'I mean, you did after steal a kiss from him, his first kiss for all you know!'_  
  
Black covered shoulders lift up while my mind replays that little moment before pushing it away, trying to ignore the tingling it left on my lips and the fireworks that had exploded as soon as our lips touched (something that had never happened before).  
  
 _'So? Why should I care if it was his first kiss?_ ' I shoot back, shifting my tall lean body as I felt something wash over my body at those words (it felt like...happiness. Glee. Why the fuck would I be happy that I took Dahvie's first kiss?!). _'He's the one I currently want, so I'll do anything to get him. Except rape. I only take willing guys.'_  
  
An irked sigh echoes in my mind as my conscious starts up once more.  
  
' _You know Jayy, the more you push the boy, the more likely you'll never get him.'_  
  
I snort at that, wondering how sane the person was when they declared your conscious to be wise.  
  
 _'Yeah, no. I'll have him soon,'_ Was all I replied back with before choosing to focus on getting in my car and starting it, driving out of the school driveway and onto the road.  
  
 _'Ignore me all you want, Jayy,'_ My conscious snaps, _'But in the end, you know I'm right. And if I were you, I'd stay away from Dahvie. Otherwise the tables might get turned and you'll be the prey.'_  
  
Brows furrow as I contemplate what the fuck my conscious meant by that.  
  
 _'Me? The prey? The fuck you on, bitch?'_ I silently inquire, my hands gripping the steering wheel even tighter than before.   
  
Yet, I got no answer (which really did not help my bewilderment and anger).  
  
A growl escapes pink lips before bright green eyes focus back the road, the cryptic words floating around my head like a pesky fly.  
  
Little did he know that the answer lied within the tingling of kissed lips.  
 **  
**


	8. He's actual Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own BOTDF, nor am I implying Jahvie is real. I do own the song at the beginning, and the following characters: Emily Aragon, Kevin Cole, and Mr. Clark. Thanks for reading and remember to review! Thoughts are in italic.  
> P.S  
> I do not speak spanish, so therefore if any of the translations are wrong, I'm so sorry and please correct me. I used Google Translation.

***Dahvie's POV**  
  
It's been one month since I started going to Dunedin High.  
  
One month since I met my best friend (Emily) and worst nightmare (Jayy).  
  
One month since I entered the game "Cat and Mouse."  
  
One month since that kiss, the kiss that made me see fireworks and made me feel electricity.  
  
Shaking my head, olive hands reach up and pull the scarf closer to keep the cold air from entering my body.  
  
 _'I just can't believe him,'_ I silently said as my converse covered feet continued it journey to the music store a couple blocks from my house, _'I mean, I know Jayy wants to get into my pants, but does he really have to go and kiss me? Take something so special from me? Is he really willing to go to such lengths just for mindless sex?'_  
  
A sigh escapes pink lips, the cold air making the sigh visible.  
  
 _'And Jayy still won't let up!_ ' I growl to myself, brown eyes narrowed at the grey sidewalk. _'He still makes flirty, lewd comments every single time he's near me! It's like not a day goes by when I don't hear something like, "God I want to fuck you," or "God your ass looks tight."I mean, fucking seriously?! They're other fish in the sea, why not go after them? Why me?'_  
  
I groan, the sound filled with pent of angry and  confusion, before shaking my head to get rid of the memories threatening to take me under.  
  
No such luck.  
  
 **~Flashback~**  
  
We were playing basketball, knockout to be specific, and a basketball had rolled over towards me.  
  
I bent down-my ass in the air-and gripped the orange ball in my olive hands before standing back up, but not before Jayy commented like usual.  
  
“God baby if that ass looks as tight as it does then I can't wait to sink myself in it.”   
  
Harshly biting my tongue, I pushed the memories of "That Day" (Yes, it deserves capital letter because Jayy describing how he'd like to fuck me made it "That Day") away and trained icy blue eyes on Jayy who was staring at my ass (like always).  
  
So, I decided that the best way to not get in trouble (and to get revenge for all the perverted things he does) was to do one thing:  
  
I gave the basketball a new place to bounce off of.  
  
A smirk grows over my lips as I take in Jayy's red face, the basketball leaving the damage I intended behind.  
  
"Keep your perverted gaze and comments to your fucking self,” I snap before turning around and storming over to Emily, who was laughing her ass off.  
  
 **~Flashback Ends~**  
  
' _That's one of the many memories I have,'_ I mutter to myself as I keep gazing down at the sidewalk, _'That wasn't as bad as the one in spanish class though.'_  
  
 **~Flashback~**  
  
Spanish class.  
  
It was actually really cool, you know? Learning about a different language and attempting to speak it yourself; it was nice.  
  
At least, it was until Jayy started showing up for that class (it's bad enough he's in my gym class, chorus class, and LA class. Now in my foreign language class? Really? Do you really hate me that much god?).  
  
It also sucked when my teacher decided it'd be nice to partner us up to work on an assignment.  
  
That part was okay, who she partnered me up with wasn't okay.  
  
She decided to partner me up with Jayy.  
  
Jayy!  
  
I can honestly say that I very much hated that teacher in that moment (and I may or may not have glared daggers at her while mentally cursing her to hell).  
  
"Well would you look at that?" Jayy purrs as he plops down next to me, sending me a sweet smile. "We're partners."  
  
"We are nothing," I hiss as I tear my eyes from the teacher and turned them on Jayy, fire burning inside them. "You will ignore me, I'll ignore you, and we'll complete this fucking assignment and go our separate ways."  
  
"That sounds boring!" Jayy whined as he leaned in closer while I leaned farther away, "I'd much rather have fun with you."  
  
My leg tenses as I feel a firm hands laid upon my thigh.  
  
"Get that appendage off me or I'll stab you with my pencil," I snarl, lowering my voice so the teacher wouldn't hear me threatening another student.   
  
"Aw, you're so mean Dahvie kins," Jayy pouts but follows my order, removing his hand.  
  
"Don't call me that," I huff out before I turn to the worksheet and start working on it, ignoring Jayy's dark presence.  
  
"No me ignore, kines Dahvie," Jayy quietly purred, my body stiffening as I felt his warm breath washing over my ear (Translation: Don't ignore me, Dahvie kins). "No eres divertido cuando estás tranquilo." (Translation: You're no fun when you're quiet).  
  
"Y yo que pensaba que eras demasiado estúpido para realmente aprender español," I reply, keeping my eyes trained on the white paper and ignoring the way the foreign language made Jayy's voice sound sexier. (Translation: And here I thought you were too stupid to actually learn spanish)

"Conozco a un montón de cosas de bebé," Jayy easily responded, his hand once more covering my thigh as he slowly stroked the appendage (Translation: I know a lot of things, baby). "¿Quieres saber exactamente lo que sé?" (Translation: Would you like to find out exactly what I know?)  
  
"No, gracias!" I snap as I answer a question on the sheet and, with a free hand, slap away the hand slowly inching up (Translation: No thank you!). "No estoy interesado en un jugador como usted." (Translation: I'm not interested in a player like you)  
  
"¿Estás seguro de que ese bebé?" Jayy inquires, his voice quiet and sensational as he kept his mouth near my ear (Translation: You sure about that baby?). "Porque, si no recuerdo mal, estabas gimiendo y lloriqueando por más cuando te besaba." (Translation: Because, if I remember correctly, you were moaning and whimpering for more when I was kissing you)  
  
"Un error enorme de mi parte!" I growl in reply, once more smacking away the wandering hand (Translation: A gigantic mistake on my part). "No te preocupes, nunca volverá a pasar." (Translation: Don't worry, it'll never happen again).  
  
"¿Quién dijo que no quería que vuelva a suceder?" Jayy queried, that same old fucking smirk lighting up his face (Translation: Who said I didn't want it to happen again?). "El único problema que tuve fue que todavía estaban vestidos porque eso hace más difícil para que te folle." (Translation: The only problem I had was you were still clothed because that makes it harder to fuck you).  
  
A crimson red blush colors my cheeks as I throw down my pencil and turn to glare up at Jayy while my arms cross over my chest defensively.  
  
"Usted y sus comentarios sexuales a la mierda!" I hiss in reply, clenching my hands together so I wouldn't be tempted to smack Jayy again (Translation: Fuck you and your sexual comments!) "¿Estás tan ciego que no puede ver que yo no te quiero?!" (Translation: Are you that blind that you can not see that I do not want you?!)  
  
"No ciegos," Jayy flippantly said as his smirk stayed etched upon his pierced lips (Translation: Not blind). "Sólo increíblemente caliente para usted y su culo bien." (Translation: Just insanely horny for you and your fine ass)  
  
My cheeks turn redder and I open my mouth to say something, but Jayy continues on as if I was never going to say a word.  
  
"Su culo se ve demasiado bueno, por cierto. Es un reto difícil no madura toda la ropa y enterrarme profundo en ella." (Translation: Your ass looks way too good, by the way. It's a difficult challenge to not ripe off all your clothes and bury myself deep in it.)  
  
Pink lips part as my jaw once more falls open, before closing and then opening, making me look like a fish out of water.  
  
"Realmente te odio," I hiss, my cheeks flamed before I turn on my heels and ask the teacher to use the bathroom (Translation: I really fucking hate you).  
  
Needless to say, I stayed locked in that stall until school was over.  
  
 **~Flashback Ends~**  
  
Shaking my head, I pull myself out of my memories and reach out an olive hand clad in a mitten before opening the door to the music store.  
  
I moan upon entering, the warmth circulating inside the building sinking into my chilled bones.  
  
 _'Thank you whoever created heaters,'_ I silently praise as I unwrap my scarf to let my neck breathe again and pull of my mitten, stuffing them in the pockets of my coat.  
  
Shooting the girl behind the counter a smile (to which I received red cheeks and a giggle), I turn my head and start walking down the aisles while brown eyes flicker over the albums until they landed on one particular album.  
  
It was Bring Me The Horizon's new album.  
  
 _'That's mine!'_ I silently call the dibs as I reach out an olive hand...  
  
Only to freeze as a pale familiar hand also touches the album.  
  
Jerking the appendage back as if it had been burned, I turn my eyes up towards the tall figure who also looked surprise.  
  
"Since when did a pervert like you like Bring Me The Horizon?" The question slips past my lips before I can stop it, my cheeks flushing red as dark brown eyes twinkle.  
  
"I'm wounded that you call me a pervert," Jayy over dramatically states, gripping his chest as if my words (though true) hurt. "When deep down I know you like all my flirting."  
  
"I do not!" I snap, back up to put distance between us (and if Jayy shot me smirk that said he knew what I was doing, well, I just happened to not see it).  "Now, answer the damn question Monroe."  
  
"You know," Jayy starts, his smirk growing as he stepped forward and I stepped back. "You acting so feisty is a real turn on for me."

My cheeks burn even redder as my brown eyes (under someone else's control) shoot towards his crotch and widen as I find his words to be true.  
  
Quickly, I avert my eyes to avoid the knowing smirk scrawled over his lips while my cheeks continue to burn like wood in a fire.  
  
"See something you like?" Jayy purred as he stepped even closer, my heart pounding against my ribs painful the closer he got.  
  
I stay quiet, too focused on trying to find an escape than on his words.  
  
Jayy chuckles (seriously! It’s bad enough he has the body of an incubus, the voice of a siren, now he has to have a sexy laugh too?! Fuck my life!)  
before stepping away with amusement shining from his dark brown eyes.

"To answer your question," Jayy murmurs, "I do like that band, and I have for sometime. Is that such a crime?"  
  
"Yes, because it makes you look human," I wanted to say, the words on the tip of my tongue but I held them back.  
  
"I guess not," I finally mumble, my gaze shooting to him for one single moment before settling on the album I so badly wanted.  
  
We're silent for about thirty minutes before Jayy breaks it, snapping me out of my thoughts of why the hell everything felt so different suddenly.  
  
"You never did deny the part about seeing something you like," Jayy quietly says, a smirk growing over his lips.  
  
"I decided to ignore it just like I ignore your irritating presence that always seems to give me a headache,” I snap as a response, my body relaxing as we settled back into our “normal” routine.  
  
Knowing that Jayy- the Jayy that has been non stop flirting with me and groping me perverted-actually likes something as human as music…  
  
It’s weird.  
  
Different.  
  
I’m not used to that.  
  
But **this** , this banter we have?  
  
 **That’s** something I'm used to.  
  
“You don’t mean that,” Jayy childishly pouts as he wraps his arms around my stomach and pulls me against my chest, my face heating up as I struggled against the boa hold.  
  
“Get off Monroe!” I growl, huffing in aggravation as all my attempts turned out to be futile when the arms merely tightened around my waist.  
  
“Nah,” Jayy plops his chin on my head, my cheeks heating up as I realize how…how intimate this pose was (and not in the sexual sense, though it kind of was since I could feel all of him. But, you know, in the romantic sense). “I’m quite happy just standing here.”  
  
The next he did was either to prove his point, or to piss me off (probably both, if I know Jayy).  
  
He grinded his dick against my ass.  
  
White teeth harshly clamp down on full pink lips, stifling the moan wanting-needing-to escape.  
  
“D-Damn y-you, M-Monroe!” I hiss before I decide to harshly kick him on his shin (I was debating on kicking at the place where the sun don't shine, but decided I wasn't that cruel…unless you hurt the people I loved, then all thoughts of being nice fly out the window quicker than you could say, “Fuck.”).  
  
A groan of pain escapes Jayy lips as he releases me, his tall form bending down and rubbing the bruised appendage.  
  
“T-That’s what you deserved!” I snap, self-consciously crossing my arms over my coat.  
  
And you want to know what Jayy does next?  
  
He laughs!  
  
He throws his (beautiful) head back and laughs.  
  
 _‘Is he crazy?’_ I silently question as my brown eyes stare at the bad boy with a very weird expression scrawled all over my face. _‘Wait, no, never mind. He’s crazy. Forget I even asked that moronic question.’_  
  
“Why the hell are you laughing?!” I inquire, my eyes narrowed.  
  
“Nothing,” Jayy answered as he calmed down, a smirk tugging at those (luscious) pierced lips. “It's just like I said earlier: I really love it when my boys get feisty.”  
  
My cheeks go strawberry red.  
  
“I am not your’s!” I snap, shifting on feet as I felt my heart pound at those words.  
  
 _‘What the fuck?’_ I silently hissed as I forced my heart to slow its pacing, _‘Why the hell is my heart beating so fast? Just from those possessive words? Really?’_  
  
Shaking my head, I turn my attention back on to Jayy.  
  
“For now,” Jayy’s murmurs, the words low and dark brown eyes unusually serious. “But I'm sure later on you'll change your mind.”  
  
Brown eyes narrow into slits before I turn my gaze on the album, reaching out and grabbing it only to notice it was the last one.  
  
“Well would you look at that?” Jayy murmurs, the somber tone gone and replaced with his regular “flirty” tone. “It’s the last one.”  
  
A bottom pink lip is once more nibbled on, thoughts churning in my mind as I debated on if I should give it to Jayy or not.  
  
 _‘I really love this band,’_ I silently said, my eyes trained on the music album. _‘But there’s always next time.’_  
  
 _‘But Jayy’s an asshole!’_ I silently contradicted, my grip tightening. _‘Yet, does his personality really matter?’_  
  
A long suffered sigh escapes its prison before I hold out the album towards Jayy, pointedly looking away as a pink blush rose over my cheeks.  
  
“Here,” I softly mumble.  
  
Everything is silent besides the constant buzzing of chatter and the thundering of my heart.  
  
Brown eyes snap up and clash with dark brown orbs when I feel a hand gently grab my hands and push the album towards my body, pale hands still holding on to mine.  
  
“Keep it,” Jayy softly murmurs, his eyes piercing through mine and seeing my soul (or so it felt). “There’s always next time.”  
  
And with those final words Jayy removes his hand (my own hands suddenly seeming colder without his warm ones on top of mine) and turns on his heels, walking out the store and into the chilly October weather.  
  
Suddenly, I'm left feeling lost, as if something had just been taken from me but I have no idea what that something is.  
  
 _‘He’s human,’_ I realized, my brown eyes moving and staring at the spot where Jayy was before. _‘Jayy Von Monroe, residential bad boy and number one player, is human.’_  
  
And honestly?

I have no idea how I feel about that.

  


 


	9. November 12th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YaoiLover66 does not own BOTDF, nor is she implying that Jahvie is real. She does, however, own the song at the beginning and the following characters: Emily Aragon, Kevin Cole, Mr. Clark, and Christopher White. Enjoy and remember to comment! Thank chu :3

***Jayy's POV**  
  
Dark brown eyes blankly stare at the green covered ground while a cigarette loosely hangs between pale fingers, not lit and blowing its usual black smoke.  
  
"Jayy?" Kevin softly murmurs, his blue eyes peering into my face with concern shining through them like jewels. "You okay man?"  
  
A laugh escapes pink pierced lips, the sound bitter and filled with so much fucking pain.  
  
"You really want to ask me that fucking question, Kev? Really?" I inquire darkly, dark brown orbs moving up and clashing with light brown eyes. "How fucking stupid are you?! You really fucking think asking me that question is going to help me?! Do you?!"  
  
Pale legs clad in black skinny jeans advance on Kevin like a lion advances ona  zebra.  
  
"Woah, chill dude!" Kevin yells as his back hits the wall, his eyes widening in fear as I towered over him like goliath. "I know asking that was stupid, and that you're not okay, but do you really have to take this out on me?"  
  
Pale shoulders sag as I move away from my friend (that I nearly was going to beat up), a black tank top from slumping against the brick wall while sighs escape their prison cells.  
  
"I'm...I'm sorry," I quietly whisper, my gaze once more falling back on to the ground where my unlit cigarette lay. "It's just...It's just a really bad day for me, you know?"  
  
"I know, J," Kevin soothingly responds as he places one hand on my arm, "I know November 12th has some really bad memories for you, and I know they haunt you to this day, but don't you think..."  
  
Kevin trails off, his brown eyes flickering away from my defeated (not to mention pained) form as he nibbles on his bottom lip, knowing full well that he should proceed with caution or else he'll end up with a broken body part.  
  
"Don't I think what?" I mumble, my tone lifeless and void of any emotion.  
  
"Don't you think it's time to..." Kevin falters, inhaling a sharp breath before finishing the incomplete sentence. "Time to...let go of the past?"  
  
Sudden silence falls on the pair, causing Kevin to become even more scared (bad day plus angry and hurt jayy equals broken body part of any who crossed a very thin line).

"How can I?" I brokenly whispers, my eyes disappearing behind pale eyelids as I fought to keep the tears at bay. "How can I just-just forget about him? Forget about all that we had? Forget about how they-they took the most important person of my life?!"  
  
"How can I forget how I lost the love of my life?!" I screamed, the dam I had been fighting so hard to hold back breaking loose as the salty tears ran down my face. "How can I forget about Christopher?"  
  
Sobs rack my tall form as I finally give into the despair consuming my body like a wildfire.  
  
I hear a silent curse over  the loudness of my sobs before arms envelope me, hugging me and trying their best to comfort me.  
  
But, unfortunately, they failed at the comforting part.  
  
It wasn't the arms or the way they held me (it was a good comforting hug, you know? All reassuring and shit).  
  
But the person who the arms belonged to.  
  
I didn't want my best friend comforting me.  
  
I didn't want pity, or sympathy.  
  
I wanted Christopher.  
  
I wanted...  
  
 _'Dahvie,'_ My conscious suddenly says, the memory of the music store coming to mind.  
  
 _'He hates my guts,'_ I silently refute as I continue to pour out all the anger and sadness swirling inside my body like a tornado. _'Dahive wouldn't want to comfort me.'_  
  
 _'Perhaps,'_ My conscious concedes, _'But you won't know till you try. And besides, you have to admit that hold Dahvie makes you feel better, even if you won't outrightly acknowledge it.'_  
  
 _'I do not!'_ I silently snap as I felt my cheeks heat up while my heart thundered away in my chest at the thought of holding Dahvie and him holding me.  
  
I may not be the best person, or the nicest guy on Earth, but I know a good hugger when I feel one.  
  
And Dahvie?  
  
He gives awesome hugs (at least he must because I have never felt as calm as I do when I hold him).  
  
Like, they almost compare to my blowpops.  
  
Almost being the key word.  
  
 _'We are not having this conversation,'_ My conscious snaps back, just like my mother. _'Go to Dahvie and burst out crying and make him realize you're actually human, then let him take care of you.'_  
  
And, as much as I hated to admit it, I needed to be cared for.  
  
But Dahvie?  
  
Seriously body?  
  
Of all people, I want Dahvie to comfort me?  
  
 _'Might be because you're an idiot and are blind to your feelings,'_  Mumbles my conscious, my brows furrowing as I tried to make out what the voice said.  
  
 _'What?'_ I silently inquire, the tears finally dying off as I pulled out of the embrace while giving Kevin a small smile.  
  
 _'Nothing!'_ My conscious answers too quickly, and way too innocently. _'Just go to your lover boy, I mean boy toy!'_  
  
Brows furrowing, I slowly shake my head while mentally labeling my conscious as "Insane."  
  
"You okay?" Kevin quietly asks, peering into my face.  
  
"Yeah," I murmur as I stand back up (guess I really did break down and cry) and brush away the stray dirt clinging to my jeans like lovers. "Thanks Kev."  
  
"No problem man," Kevin responds, following suite and following my form back into the building.  
  
"Where you going?" Kevin calls out in bewilderment as I start heading towards the library, "Lunch will be soon!"  
  
"I'll catch up," Was all I said before entering the quiet, book filled room and scanned the surrounding for one Dahvie Vanity.  
  
Fortunately for me, I noticed him in a secluded corner (thank god! It's bad enough I'm going to be crying in front of Dahvie, no need for people to see the "Almighty, bad ass" Jayy weeping like a baby) flicking through a magazine.  
  
 ***Dahvie's POV**  
  
Today was actually nice.  
  
And that's not good.  
  
My days in High School aren't supposed to be nice (I wish they were, but they're not); they're supposed to be filled with bullying and name calling and shoves against lockers and excessive flirting and groping.  
  
None of those things happened, though the last two were the ones that surprised me the most.  
  
Zero comments.  
  
Zero touching.  
  
Nothing.  
  
Nada.  
  
Zilch.  
  
 **N-O-T-H-I-N-G.**  
  
And that may be why I'm currently hiding in a very secluded spot in the library while pretending to be interested in a magazine (which was about something).  
  
 _'Way to be paranoid Dahvie!'_ A voice (that sounded suspiciously like Emily's) snorts, sarcasm articulated through its tone (yep. It's Emily).  
  
 _'You would be to if you were bullied at your old school and then transferred to a new school where the bad boy decides he wants to get into your pants and flirts and gropes you at every opportunity!'_ I shriek back in response before continuing, silently wondering how my mental voice wasn't breaking from the lack of air it was inhaling. _'And then, fate decides to screw with your beliefs and makes said bad boy look human when he doesn't take the CD I offered when he should've because he acts all jack-assy and mean and pervertedly and-'_  
  
 _'Okay!'_ My Emily conscious growls, _'I get it! Now for god damn sakes breathe Dahvie!'_  
  
Full pink lips part as I force in a deep breathe, my lungs losing that burning sensation I hadn't noticed was starting.  
  
 _'Thank you Emily conscious,'_ I finally say after the fire was extinguished.  
  
 _'No problem,'_ Emily conscious replies, _'I wanted you to stop before you passed out.'_  
  
I nod my head, black hair tinged with red streaks slowly moving, and start to respond but freeze due to two things:  
  
One was what Emily conscious said next.  
  
 _'From the way you were going off about him, some would think you had a crush on Jayy.'_  
  
The second thing that made me freeze was Jayy, the real Jayy.  
  
As in the Jayy suddenly standing in front of me.  
  
With a tear stained face.  
  
And misty dark brown eyes.  
  
' _Oh my god,'_ I silently gasped as I took in Jayy (who looked way too human again), _'How the fuck can a puppy dog look be that adorable?!'_  
  
Dark brown eyes (which I swear were getting wider and glasier with tears) gaze into mine with a "you just kicked my puppy" look.  
  
 _'Can't...resist...cute...look,'_ I silently say while trying to tear my eyes away from the heart-wrenching site, but I couldn't.  
  
So, instead, I gave in (I have a weakness for anything that's cute and in need of a hug. Sue me).  
  
Quickly wrapping my arms around Jayy's waist, I gently guide us back to my previous and quickly situate us (his head laying in my lap-something I really did not want to think about- and my olive fingers carding through his smooth black hair).  
  
Everything is silent, the only sound heard was our breathing (Jayy's sounding more labored as he clearly tried to suppress his tears).  
  
"You can cry," I soothing murmur as I gently scratch his scalp, my focus more on calming Jayy (the bad boy Jayy who acted so strong and tough) and less on his relaxed, content expression.  
  
Jayy shakes his head, his teeth biting into his lower lips (most likely to stop the quivering I noticed earlier).  
  
Sighing, I continue my ministrations, humming a tune under my breath as I did what my mother would do to me when I was sad.  
  
"You're strong, Jayy," The words, filled with (surprisingly) sincerity and reassuring,  slip past my lips without a thought. "Everyone already knows that. But you're human, no matter how tough you act. So, it's okay to cry. Not like anyone's around to see."  
  
Jayy reopens his eyes, the tears finally slipping free and sliding down his cheeks.  
  
"I-I-I'm s-so-so so-so-sorry," Jayy sobbed as he buried his face into my stomach clad in a shirt, a wetness seeping through the thin fabric.  
  
But I didn't care.  
  
All I cared about was reassuring him to the best of my ability, making sure to card my fingers through his silky hair (that seriously felt like silk against my fingers) and hum various tunes under my breath to calm him down.  
  
It was a while before Jayy calmed down, something bothering him more than remorse (which I hardly think is the reason he came to me crying in the first place), but when he did, he stayed in the same position.  
  
Brown eyes gaze down at the tall teenager, taking in the evened out breathing.  
  
 _'I really hope he didn't fall asleep,'_ I silently said, trying (in vain) to be angry, but how could I be angry when he looked like such an angel?  
  
Well, a fallen angel, but an angel nonetheless.  
  
Olive hands reach out and brush away the black strands that had fallen in front of Jayy's face, brown eyes peering into the peaceful face.  
  
 _'Damn you Jayy Von Monroe,'_ I silently hiss as I once more feel my heart pound against my chest, _'Why the fuck do you have to be so bi-polar? Why can't you be your perverted, asshole self? Why do you have to go and be this sweet, puppy face teenager that makes me regret every bad thing I've said and thought about you? Why do you have to go and show me your actually human?'_  
  
And yet, even with all those frustrated thoughts swirling inside my mind, I still continued to card my fingers through his hair and hum to no one.  
  
Maybe it was because I had a big heart and always wanted to help anyone in need out.  
  
Or maybe it was because it was moments like these, the moments were Jayy would throw away the mask and reveal the beautiful person beneath it, that made everything bad between us vanish into thin air (even if it was only for a few minutes).

* * *

 ***Still Dahvie's POV**  
  
A sigh escapes its prison as I shift the unusually heavy messenger bag over my shoulder, once more cursing the teachers to hell for giving us so much homework.  
  
 _'God damn homework,'_ I silently curse as I push open the front doors of the school building and walk down the steps, _'And god damn those teachers while I'm at it!'_  
  
Huffing out another sigh, I start walking towards my car...  
  
Only to stop in my tracks as I notice a figure leaning against it.  
  
"What do you want, Kevin?" I bewilderedly question as I start moving again, stopping a few feet away from him.  
  
"I just wanted to say thanks for taking care of Jayy," Kevin shrugs his shoulders, scuffing a rock with the toe of his sneakers. 'You and him have a complicated relationship, but even though you hate his guts, you still took care of him. So, thanks."  
  
Kevin pushes himself of my car and starts walking away, but the words slipping past my lips (an action one I did not control) force him to freeze.  
  
"I don't hate him."  
  
"You...don't?" Kevin whispers, his brown eyes wider than saucer plates. "Even though he's constantly flirting with you, groping you inappropriately, and being a grade A asshole?"  
  
"W-Well, yeah, I mean..." I stutter and falter, a dark red blush rising over my cheeks as I tried to reason why I don't hate him.  
  
 _'Because, even if he's a pervert and only cares about sex,'_ My Emily conscious starts (I really should get checked into therapy. It's bad enough I have a Mom conscious, now an Emily conscious? That ain't normal man!), _'He's also human. And he just happens to show that human side when the time calls for it.'_  
  
"Because he's human," I finally murmur, my brown eyes staring at my car as I swam in my undercurrent of thoughts. "Jaa has a heart. He just doesn't show it. That's why I don't hate him."  
  
"Because he's human?" Kevin murmurs, turning and walking over to me.  
  
"Yeah," I answer, my tone filled with confidence I didn't fully believe in.  
  
"You're the first person to think that about Jayy, ever since he turned into a bad boy," Kevin quietly whispers, the sentence not meant to be heard by my olive ears.  
  
But it was.  
  
"What do you mean 'P into a bad boy'?" I quietly question, stepping closer as I noticed the shocked expression etched on Kevin's face. "Wasn't Jayy always like this?"  
  
Kevin's lower lips becomes ensnared by his upper teeth, pointedly avoiding my eyes.  
  
"Kevin," I warn, stepping forward with narrowed eyes.  
  
"It's not my place to say!" Kevin snaps, glaring at me but quickly cowering as he noticed my dark expression.  
  
"It will be now," I hiss, taking another step froward towards the taller boy, internally smirking as my "Glare of Torture" worked.  
  
"Listen, Dahvie, we all have our secrets," Kevin murmurs, gazing into my eyes with sincerity. "And Jayy's human, like you said. He has a secret. And that secret isn't mine to tell."  
  
A sigh of defeat escapes my mouth before I nod my head and start to turn around, only to stop as Kevin speaks up once more.  
  
"But, you did help him, and he can't blame me because I didn't exactly tell you if you figured it out yourself," Kevin starts, meeting my startled eyes. "Go to Middleburg Cemetery (1). You'll find your answers there."  
  
And with those words, Kevin turned and walked away, leaving me confused.  
  
 _'What would a cemetery tell me?'_ I silently queried as I watched Kevin's figure retreat before turning and hopping into my car, turning on the ignition and pulling out the parking lot with every intention of going to that cemetery today.

* * *

 _'You know,'_ I slowly start, gradually getting out of my car and moving towards the open iron gates, _'I think I now just realized graveyards are used for Halloween. It's because their fucking creepy!'_  
  
And my words were true, for ahead of me was a very creepy graveyard.  
  
The greyish stones popping out of the overgrown greenish pale yellowish grass, making them seem like boogeyman's waiting to jump from under the bed to scare you.  
  
The old trees bending down, their branches gnarled and green leaves fluttering in the wind like arms on a person's body.  
  
Add to that the sky, which had been bright blue and cloudless, was now steadily growing darker with grey Nimbostratus clouds, the distant rumbling of thunder heard from my spot.  
  
 _'Damn it,'_ I silently cursed as I forced my legs to walk faster, trying to ignore the way the weeds wrapped around my ankles like hands begging for me to stay (and damn didn't that send goosebumps all over my arms). _'Of all the luck I have, it just has to go and storm now!'_  
  
Huffing out a soft breathe, I pace myself even faster as I hear the thunder rolling in.  
  
 _'What the fuck am I even looking for?'_ I stopped moving, my brown eyes flickering over the grey headstones engraved with the dead's names. _'Great job, Dahvie, instead of being smart and waiting to get more information, you throw yourself head first into the sea. Smooth. Real fucking smooth.'_  
  
I softly growl, a shiver running down my small form as a cold gust of air blew towards me, while wondering why I was so stupid.  
  
 _'God your a fucking moron on, Dahvie!'_ I growl as I stomp through the overgrown, uncared for grass. _'A stupid, moron, idiot...'_  
  
All thoughts fly out the window as I stumble upon a grave that had red roses placed in front of the grave.  
  
 _'What?'_ I silently query, my eyes flying up and looking around the graveyard for any signs of roses or people, but came up empty. _'What's roses doing in a forgotten cemetery like this?'_  
  
Brown eyes give up the search for the person, returning to the flowers as I crouched down and gazed at the for a few moments.  
  
 _'Whoever put these roses here must've really loved this person,'_ I thought as I counted ten roses tied together with a pink ribbon, the meaning shining through.  
  
Slowly, curious as to who got this much love, brown eyes raise and stare at the grey headstone engraved with a name.  
  
 **"In the loving memory of Christopher Paul White, who was not only a friend and fellow student, but a lover as well."**  
  
I re-read the words, letting the name sink into my brain as I tried to figure out if I've ever heard of someone named Christopher.  
  
 _'No,'_ I silently said at last, my brows furrowing before I checked the date.  
  
"June 18, 1985 - November 12, 1999"  
  
 _'He died today,'_ I realized suddenly, my eyes widening as the puzzle pieces started coming together. 'He died today.'  
  
 _'Jayy was upset today,'_ The first piece linked to the second one, the brewing storm going unnoticed by me.  
  
 _'This Christopher died the day Jayy was so upset,'_ The third piece went with the fourth piece, the clouds coming together to form one giant black cloud.  
  
 _'A lover as well,'_ The fifth connected to the sixth and the picture was revealed just as the clouds opened up and relieved the tension building inside them for a while.  
  
 _'Christopher was Jayy's lover,'_ I realized while my eyes popped out their sockets and landing besides the roses, the rain pelting against my form doing nothing to ease the sudden cold I felt from that startling realization.  
  
 **'Jayy's the way he is because...because his lover died.'**  
  
And for some reason, that realization hurt me more than ever.  
  
The worst this is, I didn't even know why.

* * *

**(1): Credits go to rightful owner if this is a real cemetery.**


	10. Jealousy isn't a good first impression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for not updating sooner :'( I didn't have any inspiration to write this chapter and you know we can't force inspiration. None the less, I do not own BOTDF, nor am I implying Jahvie is real. This story is purely fictional and I am in no way making a profit of it (though I am when it provides me with wonderful Jahvie dreams ;) Enjoy!

***Dahvie's POV**  
  
I don't know how long I sat there, paralyzed in the rain with so many emotions swirling beneath my veins.  
  
I was angry.  
  
I was shocked.  
  
But most of all, I was **_hurt._**  
  
Not a little papercut you got from a piece of paper (though those do hurt like a bitch), but actual heart wounding, body spasming hurt.  
  
You know, the kind where you feel like someone just ripped out of your chest and was repeatedly stomping on it right in front of your eyes.  
  
That kind of hurt.  
  
And the worst thing was, I didn't even know why I was hurt or angry.  
  
Now, the shock is totally justified because, let's be honest, who would date a guy like Jayy?  
  
Not sleep with him, but actually go on dates and hold hands in public and look into each others eyes with love reflecting in the different colored orbs.  
  
 ** _I_ ** certainly didn't.  
  
But, that doesn't explain why I feel angry and hurt.  
  
Was it because Jayy didn't tell me?  
  
Nah, he doesn't have to tell me anything.  
  
Afterall, I'm just a **_toy_** in his opinion; something he can play with and throw away (or worse, break) once he gets bored.  
  
So that's **_another_ ** thing I don't understand.  
  
Growling softly, I flip over on my bed and curl into a ball while my body trembles both from the cold chill still covering my bones and the emotions.  
  
 _'Goddamn it!'_ I silently curse as I narrow my brown eyes, instantly shutting them and evening out my breathing as a hand tapped against my bedroom door.  
  
"Dahvie?" My mom quietly calls out, turning the golden knob and walking in my darkened room. "Sweetie? You okay?"  
  
I didn't answer, focusing on pretending to be asleep; once I finally came to at the graveyard, I quickly dashed back to my car and drove home.  
  
And, like any teenager that doesn't come home from school without letting their parents know, I was confronted by my mother; I didn't want to deal with her questions on where I was and why I was soaked to the bone, so I quickly made my way towards my room and shut the door, making sure to lock it (making it quiet clear that I did not want to be talked to).  
  
I slowly inhaled and exhaled, my ears perked up as my mom's footsteps drew near to the bed; I tensed when she leaned down, but gave no indication of being awake.  
  
"Goodnight Dahvie," Mom murmurs before placing a kiss on my head.  
  
I bite my tongue to hold back the smile I wanted so badly to light up my face, and continue my act.  
  
My small sized body gradually relaxes as I hear my mom's footsteps recede, brown eyes opening as my bedroom door closes.  
  
 _'I hate lying to my mom,'_ I silently say as I flipped over, gazing at the door that was covered in darkness. _'But I just can't handle her questions. I mean, what am I supposed to say? "Oh, no mom! I'm perfectly fine, just found out the guy that constantly flirts with me (and gropes me at every chance) lost his lover today and for some reason I'm unexplainably angry and hurt. You know, the usual."_  
  
A snort echoes in the bedroom as I roll my eyes at that thought, pushing the anger I felt rising back up down.  
  
 _'Yeah cause that would go so well!'_ Pink lips curl into an amused smile as I think about her horrified and shocked expression.  
  
 _'Anyway, back to the topic at hand,'_ I thought, shaking my head as I focused on my previous thoughts (you know, the ones I had before mom came along). _'Why the hell am I so angry? Why do I feel so-so betrayed? Why the fuck do I even feel betrayed? It's not like Jayy and I are anything but enemies.'_  
  
 _'I never knew enemies loved to try and fuck each others brains out,'_ My Emily conscious snarks , causing me to glower in the dark. _'Aren't I missing out or what?'_  
  
 _'Piss off!'_ I snap back, brown eyes narrowing into slits. _'It's not like I want Jayy! I certainly didn't say, "Oh, hello Mr. Bad boy, why don't you attempt to molest me at every corner and constantly flirt with me? Thanks!" Did I?'_  
  
 _'No, but you did encourage that behaviour by moaning and whimpering for more,'_ Emily conscious points out, tone filled with confidence only my conscious could have.  
  
' _I'm a hormonal teenage boy!'_ I hiss in reply, grumpily flipping over and crossing my olive arms over my chest. _'It's not like I intentionally do it!'_  
  
 _'Even if it's not on purpose, your body does like the ministrations,'_ Emily conscious states, _'And thus you like it as well. After all, your body is apart of you, is it not?'_  
  
 _'Well, yeah, but-'_ I start to respond, but is quickly cut of by my conscious.  
  
 _'No buts, Dahvie Vanity,'_ Emily conscious huffs out, _'You like what Jayy does to you, and you hate the thought of him being with someone else because deep down you li-'_  
  
 _'I **do not** like that asshole!'_ I snap. olive cheeks burning red as I realize what my conscious was trying to say.  
  
 _'Yes you do,'_ Emily conscious smugly states.  
  
 _'No I do not!'_ I silently yell in reply.  
  
 _'Yes you do.'_  
  
 _'No I don't!'_  
  
 _'Yes you do.'_  
  
 _'No I don't!'_  
  
 _'No you don't.'_  
  
 _'Yes I do!'_  
  
Silence.  
  
Brown eyes grow into wide saucer plates and olive cheeks burn a deeper shade of red while my Emily conscious holws with laughter.  
  
 _'I-I didn't mean that!'_ I quickly deny, body trembling with the emotions pulling me under the wave. _'Y-You tricked me!'_  
  
 _'I never said I was a fair player,' Emily conscious purrs, 'I do what I need to do to get the results I want.'_  
  
 _'God aren't you a Slytherin?'_ I silently inquire, already knowing the answer to that question.  
  
 _'Perhaps,'_ Emily conscious agrees, pausing briefly before continuing, _'But that means you are Slytherin as well and you know what that means.'_  
  
Brows furrow as I contemplate my conscious words, bewilderment coursing through my body like blood cells.  
  
'I have no clue what you mean,' I finally reply.  
  
 _'It means,'_ Emily conscious stresses the words, _'That if you are dead set that you don't like Jayy then prove it. Prove to me it's just lust that makes your body hotter and more aroused when he touches you and looks at you with those bedroom eyes of his.'_  
  
 _'How?'_ I question, enjoying the thought of proving my conscious wrong.  
  
 _'He has green eyes and you feel it right now,'_ My Emily conscious cryptically answers.  
  
 _'What?'_ I query, bafflement scrawled all over my face. _'What the hell does that mean?'_  
  
No answer.  
  
Huffing out a breath, I once more flip over and close my eyes, the riddle words floating through my head.  
  
 **"Has green eyes."**  
  
Sleep creeps closer, gradually wrapping its warm eyes around my waist and tugging me to its world.  
  
 **"Feel it right now."**  
  
And that's when the answer hits me.  
  
 _'Oh,'_ I silently say as I realize, a smirk curling over my lips. _'Oh.'_  
  
Needless to say, that was a good night for me.  
  
/Skip Two days. It's Monday\  
  
 ***Jayy's POV**  
  
"Someone looks happy," Kevin commented as he took in my glowing expression, my lips curled in a smile even with a cigarette in between the pink lips.  
  
"I guess," I nonchalantly shrug my shoulders, green eyes glittering with uncontained excitement.  
  
"Oh don't give me that bullshit, Jayy," Kevin scoffs, his purple eyes peering into mine with suspiciousness articulated through the orbs. "You're happy and excited for something. The matter is what?"  
  
"It's just a good day," I answer, hoping to steer Kevin clear of the real answer (hint hint: the first letter is D in his name and he's the boy I've been trying to get to sleep with me).  
  
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say man," Kevin finally replies, his voice telling how he didn't buy my lie.  
  
I shoot him a genuine, gratified smile before turning my gaze up into the bright blue clear sky while finishing my cigarette.  
  
We're both silent for a few minutes before Kevin breaks it as we start heading towards the entrance.  
  
"So, have you heard the news?" Kevin inquires, his purple eyes flickering from the ground to me.  
  
"What news?" I question, not really caring but wanting to know just in case it was someone worthy of my attention (don't look at me like that! Dahvie ain't putting out, so I gotta find another outlet, don't I? No need to know that I haven't actually had sex with anyone ever since I set my sights on Dahvie).  
  
"There's a new boy," Kevin answers, stopping in front of the doors and turning to face me. "No one knows anything about him yet except, well..."

Kevin falters, stepping in front of me as I reached fro the door.  
  
Rasining one pierced eyebrow, I throw him a confused expression.  
  
"You know, there are no obstacles placed in front of doors because we need to enter and exit them," I slowly speak, my eyebrow still raised.  
  
"I know, it's just...it's just, well..." Kevin falters, nibbling at his lips while his eyes actively avoided mine.  
  
 _'What's got him so nervous?'_ I silently inquire, my eyes raking over his form as I noticed him getting more and more nervovus by the second.  
  
"Kevin at least get out of my way," I finally say, rolling my eyes at my friend's attitude.  
  
"No!" Kevin blurts out, eyes widening and fear swirling in them.  
  
Green eyes narrow as I realize he was nervous of me entering the school.  
  
 _'Why is that, I wonder?'_ I muse before mentally shrugging my shoulders. _'Well, I'll never find out if I don't open the damn doors, now will I?'_  
  
" **Move** Kevin," I growl out, green eyes burning with authority.  
  
"No, trust me Jayy, you will not like what you see if you go in," Kevin murmurs, trying to block my attempts at getting through the doors.  
  
"And why is that?" I question, long legs clad in black leather jeans stopping in their tracks.  
  
"Er, well, you see, uh..." Kevin stumbles over his words, faltering and flat out looking as if death himself was standing in front of him.  
  
Seizing the opportunity while he was distracted, I quickly dash past his left side and yank open the doors...  
  
Only to freeze in my tracks as green eyes fall upon a two boys that were standing way too close together.  
  
A growl (that would've put a wolf to shame) escapes past pierced lips as my eyes narrow.  
  
" **Who** ," I slowly hiss out, my hand tightening on the knob as I continued to glare at the couple that was laughing and smiling and touching. " **The fuck is he?!"**

" ** _This_** is why I didn't want you to walk in," Kvin mumbles as he finally steps inside the building, me hot on his trails.  
  
" **Kevin** ," I growl out the name, my tone telling him how much I wanted the answer (and damn it I wanted it now!).  
  
"I don't know!" Kevin defends himself, his purple gaze trained on me. "All I know is he's the new kid and he and Dahvie are, um..."  
  
Kevin trails off, wincing and backpedaling away from me as I stood tall and continued to glower at the couple, my hands bundled into tight fists (that were itching to slam into the pale boys face).  
  
" _Close_ ," Kevin squeaks out, fear articulated through his tone.  
  
Though I heard the words, I didn't comprehend them.  
  
My sole focus was trained on the boy (who had green hair and brown eyes and was tall) that thought it was okay to touch **_my_** Dahvie.  
  
And damn well he was **_mine!_**  
  
I don't share my toys.  
  
Never have, and I never will.  
  
So this **_boy_** -this **_new kid_** -that thinks it's **_okay_ ** to just walk in here and play with something that **_I_ ** consider **_mine_** has something else coming.  
  
It didn't occur to me why I felt this possessive all of the sudden (god knows I am possessive) or why I was feeling so possessive over someone that wouldn't even put out.  
  
All that mattered was getting over there and marking my property.  
  
I never heard my name called as I stormed over towards the couple, laughing and giggling as if in their own world (and I'll be fucked if that didn't piss me off further), nor did I hear the whispers breaking out through the crowd that had suddenly noticed the "Residential Bad Boy" looking as if he were about to murder someone (which I was. I totally was).  
  
All I heard was the blood rushing through my ears and the satisfying crack that followed as my fist slammed into the new boy's face.  
  
 _"Oliver!"_ Dahvie cried out, shock clearly heard through his beautiful voice.  
  
" _Jayy!"_ Kevin hissed as he came and pulled me back.  
  
Yet, I didn't say anything as I looked down at the boy sporting a dark bruise on his cheek.  
  
 _'How do you like that now bitch?'_ A satisfied (and sadistic) smirk curls over pink lips as I assess the damage I created.  
  
One thing never occurred to me, though.  
  
And that was the fact that maybe it wasn't me being possessive over my toy, but because I was jealous.  
  


  
  


 


	11. When will they realize they like each other?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own BOTDF, nor am I implying Jahvie is real. Comment, kudo, or bookmark please! Thanks and enjoy ^_^

***Jayy's POV**  
  
"Dude! What the **fuck** was wrong with you back there?!" Kevin hisses as he all but drags me out of the hallway, students shrinking back as they noticed me. "A teacher could've seen that and you could've gotten in trouble! Hell Oliver or Dahvie or any student could go and report this!"  
  
"So?" I shrug my shoulders as I take out a cigarette and light it up once we get outside, inhaling the toxin while focusing on Kevin (and not the boiling rage festering beneath my skin that was begging me to go back and teach that kid a lesson).  
  
"So? So?! Is that all you can say?!" Kevin snarls, his hands reaching up and carding through his hair (no doubt to ease some of the frustration he felt).  
  
"Yes," I bluntly answer while inhaling again and exhaling it out, watching the black cloud float away.  
  
"Oh for fuck's sake Jayy!" Kevin groans as he paces faster, hands all but acing through his hair.   
  
Pink, pierced lips stay firmly close as I continue to smoke, not even bothering with acknowledging Kevin and his distressed state.  
  
Call me a bastard all you want, but if I don't focus on inhaling the toxic substance right now I just might go back to the new kid (whose name is Oliver, my conscious decides to nicely point out) and give him more than a bruised cheek.  
  
Everything is silent besides the constant flow of curse words exiting Kevin's mouth.  
  
"God damn it Jayy!" Kevin rounds on me, narrowing his purple eyes. "Why the fuck did you do that?! He did nothing, **_nothing_** , to you!"  
  
"He was touching what was mine," I flippantly answer, crushing the cigarette beneath my black boot and pulling out another one.  
  
"He was touching what was your's?!" Kevin repeatedly dumbfounded, purple eyes owlishly blinking before they turned hysterical. "You're fucking telling me, **_your best friend_** , that you punched a boy- ** _who was doing nothing to you_** -because you were ** _jealous?!"_**  
  
Pierced eyebrows furrow as I take in my (now) very hysterical friend and his words.  
  
"I wasn't jealous," I deny before my gaze flickers back to the sky, pushing the memory away less I go on another punching spree. "I just don't like it when people touch my toys."  
  
"For fucking fuck fuckity's sake! How dim witted can you be?!" Kevin howls while his hands harshly tug at his hair, his purple eyes glittering with insanity. "How can you not fucking see that you fucking like Dahvie?!"  
  
"I don't-" I start to once more deny, but I'm cut off by my best friend.  
  
"Do not fucking say you don't like him Jayy Von Monroe," Kevin hisses quietly as he storms towards me and pushes me against the wall, his eyes glaring into mine. "Because **_you do_**! You don't like him just as a warm body, something you can fuck and dump, no. You fucking ** _like_ ** Dahvie! You **_like_** that he challenges you, that he stands up for himself and others, that he-even though you're an asshole and a mega flirt-is willing to help you through your vulnerable moments."  
  
Shock.  
  
Astonishment.  
  
That's the only thing I can feel because...  
  
Who the fuck knew that Kevin could be so scary?  
  
"How aren't you and Aragon rutting against each other like bunnies in heat?" The question slips past my lips before I can fully think about it, still dazed by the anger (that was rolling off his form in tsunami waves) projected at me.  
  
"This isn't fucking about me and Emily, Jayy!" Kevin snaps, pushing me back once more. "This is about you and your fucking crush on Dahvie that you for some fucking reason don't see! Yeah Jayy, I know you fucking loved Christopher and that when he died you lost your belief in love. But do you have to be so fucking blind as to what you really fucking feel?! **_Do you?!"_**  
  
" ** _Don't_ ** you _**dare**_ bring Christopher into this, Kevin," I hiss quietly, my green eyes narrowing as my body tensed like coiled wires. "I do **_not_** fucking like Dahvie, and I don't fucking appreciate you bringing Christopher into this stupid argument."  
  
Feet clad in black boots step forward, my frame over towering Kevin, causing Kevin to step back (though it didn't erase the glare he was aiming at me.  
  
"Now fuck off!" I calmly order, taking out another cigarette and avoiding my best friend's gaze. "I can't fucking stand your fucking criticism."  
  
And with those words, I storm away with my hands searching for my fucking lighter, never noticng Kevin's sad expression.  
  
I never heard his last words, either.  
  
 ** _"When will you realize that you're falling for him?"_**  
  
 ***Dahvie's POV**  
  
"Are you okay?!" I hover over my new best friend, hands hovering in the air as I paced around the bed located in the nurse's office. "Does it hurt?! Do you need an ambulance?!"  
  
"Calm down, Dahvie!" Oliver calmly reassures me, capturing my hand and squeezing it affectionately. "I'm, perfectly fine! Nothing I haven't dealt with before. I was just surprised your lover got that upset that quick!"  
  
"He's **_not_** my lover!" I snap angrily, retracting my hand and crossing my arms over my chest as my brown eyes glared at Oliver.  
  
"Right, of course, sorry," Oliver instantly surrenders while holding up his hands in a sign of peace.  
  
All he receives is a soft humph.  
  
"Don't act like a baby, Dahvie," Emily upbraids me as she returns with the ice pack, handing it to Oliver. "You and I both know that deep down, you'd like that."  
  
"I would not!" Yet, my olive cheeks were flaming red despite my refute.  
  
"Whatever you say, Dahv," Emily murmurs, her blue eyes glistering with fondness and exasperation at the same time.  
  
"It's true!" A pout forms on my full pink lips.  
  
"Of course it is," Oliver intervenes, patting my arm with his free hand.  
  
A sigh escapes its prison as I deflate like a popped balloon, remorse finally sinking in.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Oli," I whisper, grabbing his hand and squeezing it as I raised my eyes from the floor. "I didn't know Jayy would react that-that violently. He's never done anything like this before."  
  
"That's because he likes you so god damn much and probably doesn't realize it like you," Oliver mumbles under his breath, the only person catching it was Emily.  
  
"What'd you say?" An olive colored head is tilted as brown eyes peer into the face of my "boyfriend."  
  
"I said I love you oh so dearly, my dear angel," Oliver dramatically states, pressing light kisses on top of my hand causing me to giggle.  
  
"Oh stop it you big flirt!" My brown eyes roll as I say that, a soft smile etched over my lips. "But I am sorry."  
  
"Dahvie, you can't change what happened," Oliver replied, his voice unusually serious. "It's not like you're a seer and could see me getting punched by your boyf-I mean the boy who keeps flirting with you. And besides, I knew what I was getting into when you asked me to be your pretend boyfriend."  
  
"I know," I whisper as my brown eyes drop to the floor, "I just never thought this would happen."  
  
"I'm still alive, aren't I?" Oliver waved his arms around, hitting Emily in the stomach on accident. "Ops...sorry?"  
  
"Why the hell did you face it as a fucking question, you knit wit?!" Emily growls, though the harsh words were ruined by the smile tugging at her lips.  
  
"Because I'm not?" Oliver grinned mischievously, brown eyes twinkling.  
  
"God I need better friends," Emily mumbles, grinning as we both turned on our puppy faces.  
  
"No! We need our Emily dosage!" We cried, getting down on our knees and playfully wrapping ourselves around her legs clad in navy skinny jeans.  
  
"Oh fine. I'll stay," Emily gives in, a full smile stretched across her face. "But only because you two wouldn't know what to do without me."  
  
"Yay!" Oliver and I cheered, causing Emily to burst out in a fit of giggles.  
  
"Oh you two," Emily fondly states as her giggles cease.  
  
"We know," We both reply at the same time, flashing each other's grins and high fives.  
  
Blue eyes roll before Emily shakes her head and motions for us to follow her out of the nurse's office.  
  
"Come on, knuckleheads," Emily orders as we step into the hallway, "We've got to get to class."  
  
Quickly, Oliver and I transfer back to our "we're-boyfriends-and-so-in-love-it-gives-anyone-cavities" phase.  
  
And it was with a small smile that I realized that even though things didn't go as planned (I sure as hell didn't expect Jayy to punch Oliver), I still got two amazing best friends out of this.

Little did I know that the same thought was pulsing through Oliver's and Emily's head.

**_'When will you realize you like him?'_ **

**/Two Weeks and four days Pass. It's Friday Now\**  
  
 ***Jayy's POV**  
  
I can't take it anymore!  
  
I can't fucking take it!  
  
You don't know the hell I'm in right now, the pain I feel.  
  
God fucking damn it! Everywhere I go-every corner I turn, I see Dahvie and Oliver holding hands, laughing and smiling at each other, kissing each other.  
  
It's pure fucking torture!  
  
And I can't do a damn thing about because Kevin threatened to tell my mom what I did, and if there's anyone in this world I love more than Christopher, it's my mom; I couldn't bear the pain and disappointment on her face when she realizes just how much of a fuck up her son is.  
  
"I fucking hate this!" I screamed, turning around and kicking the wall with my feet clad in boots. "I hate it, hate it, hate it!"  
  
Growling like a savage animal, I turn and start pacing while running my fingers through my black spiky hair.  
  
 _'I can't do this!'_ I silently screamed as I continued to growl and pace. _'I can't sit here and watch that fucking new kid steal what's mine! He doesn't deserve Dahvie! Doesn't deserve to hug him and kiss his pink full lips. Oliver doesn't deserve to see Dahvie's dazzling smile or hear his beautiful laugh! That kid just doesn't fucking deserve it!'_  
  
 _'And you do?'_ My conscious inquires, its tone bored as if talking about the weather.  
  
 _'Yes!'_ I hiss in reply, too far lost in my anger to actually realize the true meaning of those words. _'Dahvie's **mine!'**_  
  
 _'Then show him who he belongs to,'_ My conscious huffs out, as if the answer was something that even a two year old could've figured out.  
  
And that answer, that simple answer?  
  
Was the best thing to have ever happened to me.  
  
Spinning on my heels, I stalk towards the school's front doors and throw them open before entering, my red eyes flickering left and right, searching for my Dahvie.  
  
Growling as I kept coming up with nothing, I turned and punched a metal locker while relishing in the pain emitting from the source.  
  
And as sick it sounds, the pain actually helped clear my mind a little bit.  
  
 _'Damn it!'_ I silently scream as my chest heaves up and down with every sharp inhale I take. _'Damn it! I-I think...'_  
  
Red eyes disappear behind clenched eyelids.  
  
 _'I think Kevin was right,_ ' And god did that make me feel light-headed. _'I think...'_  
  
So in tune with my thoughts, I never heard the approaching footsteps.  
  
 _'I think I...'_  
  
Nor did I notice the olive colored hand lying on my arm, gently shaking me.  
  
 _'I think I like...'_  
  
"Jayy?"  
  
 **"Dahvie,"** I finally finish that thought while gazing into concerned blue eyes.  
  
"You okay?" Dahvie quietly queries.  
  
"Yeah," I murmur as I start to lean in, the realization leaving me feeling weightless. "I'm perfect."  
  
And with that, I seal my lips over his, slowly moving against them while trying to portray all my emotions into that single action.  
  
And it was either the way I was kissing, or Dahvie felt the same way because not a moment later, Dahvie's kissing back with just the same amount of passion.  
  
 _'Finally,'_ Was my last thought before I focused on the kiss that was one hundred times better than the previous ones because...  
  
This kiss? This one wasn't filled with lust or need to prove something.  
  
This was filled with the emotions we always tried to deny.  
  
And that was the mutual like we held for each other.  
  
 **~Behind the School Building~**  
 ***Emily's POV**  
  
 _'I can't believe it came to this,'_ I silently said as I gazed across from me, my blue eyes cold and hard just like my facial expression. _'What is it about Jayy that makes all my best friends fall for the asshole? What in god's fucking name is so likeable about a man whore that doesn't give two shits about you?'_  
  
A growl escapes pink lips as I glare at the figure across from me, my hands (which were tightly wrapped around my Falling In Reverse tank top) tightening on  my arms.  
  
"Will you **_please_** stop glaring laser beams at me?" The figure snaps as he crosses his arms over his chest, "I called you here to talk, not to jump you!"  
  
"I wouldn't put such a thing past you, **_Cole_** ," I spit Kevin's last name as if the word was poison.  
  
Kevin tiredly sighs, running his hands over his face.  
  
"Can we just please call a truce? At least for now?" Kevin beseeched, his green eyes wide and pleading,  
  
White teeth grit together as I try to hold back all the words I wanted to say, but nonetheless I nod.  
  
"Thank god!" Kevin murmurs, sighing once more before mumbling something that snapped all control I had. "Honestly, just because Jayy slept with your best friend and broke his heart doesn't mean all bad boys are necessarily bad."  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" I hiss, taking a step forward as icy cold rage coursed through my body. "You don't know anything about Mikey! You don't know the pain he felt when the boy he was so stupidly fucking in love with broke his heart by telling him that he was just a fuck! You don't know how many nights he cried, begging and screaming for Jayy to love him back! You don't know how many times I had to take away anything sharp because Mikey, my sweet best friend that loved and loved, wanted to die just because Jayy Von motherfucking Monroe didn't love Mikey like Mikey loved him. So just shut the fuck up!"

Blue eyes disappear behind clenched eyelids as my chest heaves up and down, my hands curled into a tight little ball as all the emotions I've held back came bursting forth.  
  
"And you're just like **_him_**!" I hiss coldly as I keep my eyes closed, not wanting him to see the tears as I relieved Mikey's tale, something I never forgot. "Sleeping around with any girl that walks, acting as if you own the school. You're **_pathetic!_** "  
  
"You're just so-" My voice breaks completely as crystal clear tears slide down my pale face, my body trembling from...what? Anger, sadness?  
  
I don't know.  
  
Everything is silent between us, the only sound was the thundering my heart and the chocked back sobs I was holding in.  
  
Pink lips part and are about to inhale, but freeze as arms wrap around my waist.  
  
Blue eyes snap open, shining with liquid tears, gazing into the blue sky as Kevin buried his face in my shoulder.  
  
"I'm sorry," Kevin quietly whispers, his grip tightening as my body stayed tense. "I'm sorry that Jayy hurt your best friend; I'm sorry that he made Mikey move; I'm sorry for all the wrong he has ever caused you, but what he doesn't show, is that he's human as well."  
  
I scoff at that statement, causing Kevin to pull away and look down into my eyes.  
  
"It's true, Emily," Kevin murmurs, sincerity ringing from his tone and eyes. "Jayy may not show it, but he does care. He does feel. But, after Christopher died, Jayy became a shell of what he was before."  
  
"Oh so that's his excuse for breaking millions of people's hearts?!" I snap as I try to pull away, silently question my sanity for even staying still in the first place, but Kevin tightens his grip to keep me in place.  
  
"It is when it's your lover that died," Kevin gravely spoke, causing me to freeze. 'And it especially is when your lover died from being beaten to a blood pulp."  
  
"W-What?" I stutter out, my heart stopping in its track as the words sunk into my brain.

"Christopher and Jayy were lovers," Kevin softly explained, brushing away the tear marks. "And they were proud of the fact that they had each other, so they weren't scared to show how much they loved each other. But..."  
  
"But other people didn't appreciate the sight of two gay men sucking on each other's tongue," I finish quietly, my body shutting down as I realized just why Jayy acted the way he does.  
  
"Exactly," Kevin answers, his gaze still connected with mine. "And so, three guys decided to teach the "fags" a lesson about how it's wrong to love the same sex and how disgusting it is."  
  
"So they beat Chrisopher to death?" I inquire, my body (for some damn reason) indelibly staying still in Kevin's arms.  
  
"Close," Kevin replies, "But no."  
  
"What do you mean no?" I question, brows furrowing as I searched his face for the answer.  
  
"They beat both Christopher and Jayy," Kevin whispers, the answer so quiet I had to strain my ears to catch it.  
  
But when I did, I wished immediately I could go back in time to the place where I didn't know why Jayy was, well, Jayy.  
  
"Oh fucking god," I murmur, blue eyes widening as I finally pieced together the puzzle I was too ignorant and too hate blinded to finish.  
  
That's why Jayy's a bad boy, so he can show people that the "weak little fag" is actually a strong person that could kick your ass if they wanted to.  
  
"I'm not excusing Jayy's behaviours," Kevin mumbles as he watches the expressions fly across my face, "But Jayy wasn't always like this. He's human just like the rest of us. It's just that-"  
  
"He's hurt and trying to avenge his lover the only way he knows how to," I finish, nodding my head as I realized that Jayy and I were alike.  
  
 **Both of us** lost someone we loved (though in different matters).  
  
 **Both of us** were hurt and wanted to avenge them.  
  
 **Both of us**  are cold hearted to those who remind us of the people who harmed our loved ones.  
  
"That..." I falter, shaking my head before continuing. "That explains a lot."  
  
"Yeah," Kevin murmurs his agreement, giving me a soft smile.  
  
And you know what I did for the first time in my life?  
  
I returned the smile.  
  
"Now, why did you ask me to meet you out here?" I inquire as I step out of his arms (and if I instantly missed the warmth, well, no one needs to know but me).  
  
"Jayy and Dahvie," Kevin answers, his voice once more turning serious.  
  
"You mean how they like each other and have a gigantic crush on each other yet they are too blinded-or too stupid, if you ask me-to see it?" I answer, raising one eyebrow at the shocked boy.  
  
"Damn," Kevin mumbles with wide eyes, "I knew I fell for you because you know everything without even trying."  
  
A blush crawls over my cheeks as I notice the sincerity he spoke with when giving me that compliment.  
  
"T-Thanks," I shyly respond, giving him a soft smile before returning to the problem at hand.   
  
"So what do we do?" I ask.  
  
"Er..." Kevin falters, cheeks heating up as he nervously scratched the back of his head. "You see that's kind of why I came to you."  
  
"Oh dear lord," I mumble, looking up at the sky and wondering if the gods got a kick out of me wanting to befriend the moronic type of boys. "Save me."  
  
Kevin chuckles.  
  
"Alright, here's the plan," I straighten my form as I speak, peering into his face as I spoke of the plan.  
  
And not for the first time, both of us had one common thought that occurred more and more often.  
  
 _' **When will they realize they like each other?'**_  
  
  
  
  



	12. I don't like him, really!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own BOTDF, nor do I own the sexy men known as Jayy and Dahvie. I am not implying that Jahvie is real, either. Enjoy and remember to comment! Or leave kudos, either's fine :)

***Dahvie's POV**  
  
 _'I just want to make it clear to everyone in this room that I **do not** like Jayy Von Monroe!'_ I silently screeched as I paced the floors in my bedroom, my olive hands racing through my hair like race cars.  
  
 _'So what if I like his attention on me?'_ I silently inquired, my legs moving even faster as the thoughts zinged by. _'So what if I have wet dreams about him? So what if I kiss back when he kisses me and enjoy every second? It doesn't matter! It's just lust! That's all it is!'_  
  
...  
  
I have no clue what's sadder, the fact that I'm actually telling the truth when I say I like Jayy's kisses or the fact that I don't even believe my "feelings" are lust.  
  
 _'I **can't** like Jayy!'_ I whimpered as I crumbled to the floor, brown eyes filling with crystal clear tears. _'I just-just can't. He's a bad boy, a player, someone I shouldn't fall for.'_  
  
 _'But you **did,** '_ My Emily conscious purrs, its tone filled with smugness.  
  
And I was so depressed and horror stricken that I couldn't even find a way to erase that cockiness.  
  
 _'No I didn't!'_ I silently screamed as I started tugging at my black spikes, tugging and tugging the strands until the pain became more prominent. _'I do not like or love Jayy Von Monroe! I don't! It's just lust! I'm horny, that's it! I don't like him, really!'_  
  
Yet not a word passed through my head that I believed in.  
  
 _'Okay, okay Dahvie, breathe,'_ I silently commanded as brown eyes disappeared behind olive eyelids while my lips part and slowly inhale deep breaths. _'Just breathe.'_  
  
And so I did.  
  
I kept my lips part and inhaled all the oxygen my lungs could hold until I felt the sensation of hysteria pass.  
  
 _'Good,'_ I silently complimented myself as I gradually re-opened my eyes, letting the calm that had now settled wash over my body like rain from the skies. _'No need to get hysterical over somethings that isn't true. So what if I felt sparks (like always) when Jayy kissed me? So what if this kiss he gave me made me feel so loved? **So what?'**_  
  
Pink lips part and sharply inhale a breath as I feel hysteria come back around.  
  
 _'It doesn't matter,'_ I forcefully said, clenching my eyes shut as I once more tried to push away the panic I felt. _'None of that matters. All that matters is finding a solution to this-this problem.'_  
  
And so I sat there, deeply breathing as my brain whizzed and whirled with possible answers.  
  
Finally, I found my answer.  
  
 _'Ah ha!'_ I victoriously thought, my back straightening and a smile forming over my full lips. _'That's it! All I need to do is avoid Jayy! That way, all these mixed feelings will vanish! It's flaw-proof!'_  
  
Grinning, I pushed myself off the floor and tumbled into my bed while falling asleep in mere minutes  
  
It's just too bad that deep down, I knew my words were meaningless.  
  
For those words, those words of "flaw-proof" and "don't like him"?  
  
They were nothing but lies.

* * *

  ***Dahvie's POV**

  
Monday morning proved to be the worst day of my life.  
  
And I am not even exaggerating.  
  
It was the worst day of my life! It seemed like God, fate, and Karma all hated me because they made sure Monday was not only stressful and anxiety ridden, but filled with Jayy.  
  
Everywhere I went (and I mean everywhere), it seemed like Jayy was right around the corner, or right behind me or right in front of me...  
  
It was literally hell on Earth.  
  
Thankfully, Jayy seemed to be on the same page as me, for whenever he saw me he quickly turned on his heels and dashed away.  
  
And that's good...right?  
  
I mean, it's nicely going along with my plan and making it easier to avoid him.  
  
So, that's good.  
  
But...if it's so good, so right, why do I feel so fucking hurt?  
  
 _'Gah!'_ I silently screamed as I slammed the back of my head on my locker, hoping it would shove some common sense into my brain. _'I fucking hate these feelings! They're so goddamn confusing and head pounding and heart breaking and just horrible!'_  
  
I continued to slam my head onto the locker, my golden eyes hiding behind my eyelids as I lost myself in my hatred for these feelings Jayy just had to go and cause!  
  
"Ease up, Dahvs! At that rate you'll be permanently brain damaged!" A female voice speaks up from my side.  
  
The "Continue slamming some sense into my idiotic brain" rollercoaster stopped, golden eyes opening to meet a familiar face.  
  
"That's what I'm going for," I grumble but nonetheless stop, knowing not to push Emily's button (girl can be pretty scary sometimes).  
  
"Why?" Emily inquires, her brows furrowing as her blue eyes peered into my face with concern written all over her pale face. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"You could say that," I mumble as a picture of Jayy's face flashes across my vision.  
  
Quickly, I shake my head and force a bright (and fake) smile.  
  
"It's nothing, Em," I soothingly reassure her as I start walking towards the Cafeteria, "I'm just frustrated."  
  
"Of what?" Emily continues to interrogate me, her long legs easily catching up with my smaller ones.   
  
"Stuff," I vaguely answer, forcing another smile as I attempted to steer the topic elsewhere. "It's nothing to worry about Em. So, hey, what do you think about the homework in Mr. Palmer's class? Hard, isn't it?"  
  
"Don't you dare try to change the topic on me, Dahvie Vanity," Emily growls as she strides in front of my path and blocks it, her hands resting on her jean covered hips. "Now spill it: what the hell's got you so worked up that you attempted brain murder?"  
  
"It's nothing, Emily," I huff out, forcing down the wave of annoyance and anger I felt rapidly rising up.   
  
"It's not nothing when you're hurting yourself, Dahvie," EMily softly murmured, her tone going all soft and sweet (the voice that made me feel super-duper guilty). "I'm your best friend, aren't I? Do you not trust me enough to tell me?"  
  
"No!" I quickly shout while remorse erupts all over my body like a volcano as I take in her blue eyes shining with hurt. "God no Em! You're my best friend and I trust you with my life."  
  
Short legs walk over to my tall friend as I bring my arms up and wrap them around her waist, hugging her and letting the words fall from my mouth.  
  
"I'm sorry for making you feel like that, Em," I whisper, my voice muffled by her Three Days Grace T-shirt. "Forgive me?"  
  
Raising an olive chin, I widen my golden eyes until they looked like a puppy's while sticking out my bottom lip.  
  
"Of course, Dahvs," Emily whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck and returning the hug. "I'm just worried Dahvie. You seem so nervous and frustrated today that I was concerned."  
  
"It's Jayy," The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them, Emily's caring voice breaking down all my defenses.  
  
Instantly I shy away from her, knowing that Emily hated Jayy with a burning passion and would probably stake him if she could (and if it was legal).  
  
Only, instead of pulling away and looking at me with anger and disgust, Emily tightens her arms and pulls me closer while effectively shocking me into silence.  
  
"What about Jayy, love?" Emily cooed softly in my arm, her voice lacking the hatred I expected.  
  
"W-Wait, y-you're n-not a-angry?" I stutter out while my heart pounded like thunder as the bricks stacking up on my shoulders crumbled down, leaving me feeling free.  
  
"Why would I be?" Emily inquires with bewilderment articulated through her tone as she pulls back and gazes at me with furrowed eyebrows.   
  
"Because it's Jayy," I softly answer, my gaze dropping to the tiled floor.  
  
"Dahvie," Emily sighs, her tone filled with exasperation and...was that remorse?  
  
Golden eyes shoot up and gaze into a blue eyes with confusion scrawled over my face.  
  
 _'Why would Emily be feeling guilty?'_ I silently questioned as I stared at my best friend.  
  
"I was wrong, Dahvie," Emily slowly starts, peering into my eyes with seriousness written all over his expression. "Jayy...Jayy isn't who I thought he was. He's...he's like me."  
  
"What?" The word slips past my lips before I can hold it back, "Emily you aren't a man whore, er, I mean whore. At least, not that I know of."  
  
A giggle escapes past Emily's lips as she rolls her eyes at me.  
  
"No, Dahvie," Emily sighs, though the smile tugging at the corners of her lips eased the exasperation. "I meant that Jayy and I are alike because we both are trying to avenge the people we love."  
  
"You know about Christopher?!" I hiss, golden eyes widening before narrowing into snake-like slits. "And how long have you know, huh? Shouldn't you have told me as well?"  
  
Hearing that Emily knew about Jayy's lover, it hurt me.  
  
I mean, she's my best friend and we tell each other everything!  
  
Why didn't she tell me something this big?  
  
And why the fuck do I feel jealous at the thought of Emily knowing Jayy better than me?  
  
"Jeesh, Dahvs! Calm the green eyed monster down!" Emily teased, an arrogant smirk curling over her cupid bow shaped lips.  
  
"I'm not jealous!" I deny, olive cheeks flaming red from the obvious lie.  
  
"Yeah and I'm not a full female," Emily sarcastically replies, raising one brow eyebrow at me.  
  
"Really? I never knew!" I exclaimed, shooting her a cheeky grin.  
  
In return, I received a head slap **(1).**  
  
"Cheeky asshole," Emily grumbles, flashing me a smirk upon hearing my protest before returning to the previous topic. "So what about Jayy?"  
  
"Can't we talk about this later?" I inquire, my voice boardlining on whining. "We're going to miss lunch!"  
  
"You're stomach can wait," Emily huffs out, rolling her eyes at my pout. "Now talk."  
  
"There's really nothing to talk about," I mumble, my golden eyes once more dropping to the ground as my shoe scuffed the floor.  
  
 **"Dahvie,"** Emily warns, her voice turning into her "Mother" voice.  
  
 **"Emily!"** I reply, flashing a bright grin her way.  
  
"Alright, fine," Emily paused while her blue eyes flickering fear for one quick moment before it disappeared, making me wonder if I truly ever saw it.  
  
Inhaling a deep breath, Emily pushed on.  
  
"Though I'll let you know something," Once more, Emily pauses while regarding my facial expression. "I-I like K-Kevin."  
  
"Wait, what?!" I shrieked, golden eyes popping out of their sockets and rolling across the floor. "When? Where? How? Why?"  
  
"Slow down Dahvie!" Emily ordered, a smile curling over her lips as her pale cheeks flushed red. "And to answer your question: I've liked Kevin ever since I saw the true him, not the player and bad boy he pretends to be; I realized it behind the school building. How? Um...I don't know. I just saw this side of him and realized that maybe he wasn't as bad as he seemed."  
  
The air around us is thick with an emotion I cannot for the life of me figure out, while the only noise we can hear is the pounding of our hearts and the distance voices of students.  
  
"W-Why?" I finally choke out, Emily's answers forcing emotions I've tried so hard to push away to rise back up in full force. "Why do you like him? H-He's a player; he sleeps around. H-He's a bad boy that doesn't give a-a damn about anyone besides himself. So-so why?"  
  
And all through that speech, I never realized that I was basically talking about Jayy.  
  
Emily softly smiles, her blue eyes soft as she patted my head as if I were a mere child.  
  
"Because I can't help it," Emily quietly answers, her blue eyes open like a window while portraying all her emotions in one glance. "Because the heart, no matter how hard you try, always ends up falling for someone you might not want. Because just maybe, just maybe, that boy who acts all tough and bad needs you just as much as you need them."  
  
"That's why," Emily finishes while gazing into my eyes before removing her hand and walking towards the cafeteria doors, leaving me completely and utterly alone with just my thoughts and feelings.  
  
 _'The heart always ends up falling for someone you might not want,'_ Emily's wise words ring in my ears like bells.  
  
Golden eyes disappear behind olive eyes as I once more crumple to the floor, my back pressed against the cold metal lockers and my face buried in my hands.  
  
 _'I-I d-do-don't l-like J-Jayy,'_ I silently said, trying to bring back the confidence I had earlier.  
  
Trying to bring back the sense of normality, the sense of my world was right and not upside down.  
  
But I couldn't.  
  
And that's because, in the end, my heart fell for someone I don't want.  
  
 **My heart fell for Jayy.**  


* * *

  **(1): "When you love NCIS, it shows." (THIS IS A COMMERCIAL I SAW ON TV. I DO NOT OWN THIS)**


	13. Promises to the Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own BOTDF, nor the sexy men residing in BOTDF. I am not implying Jahvie is real, either. Comment, kudo, or bookmark please. Thanks for reading!

***Jayy's POV**  
  
 _'I do not like or love Dahvie,'_ I silently seethe as I inhale the toxic substance filled inside the cigarette while gazing down at the green grass underneath the tree I was standing under, _'At all.'_  
  
 _'What was that about liking Dahvie on Friday, hm?'_ My conscious (which is an outright bitch) inquires, its tone belying how it was just humoring me.  
  
Well fine, humor me motherfucker, I believe what I say.  
  
 _'A momentary lapse in judgment,'_ I easily respond as if someone had asked me my favorite past time (which is smoking and fucking). _'I was still angry that the new kid stole my toy and so I confused lust with like.'_  
  
 _'Oh motherfucking god!'_ My conscious screeches, a grimace crossing over my face as the loud noise starts a buzzing in my ears. _'I am attached to a fucking nit wit! A stupid, moronic, blinded, ignorant asshole!'_  
  
 _'You're not all sunshine and rainbows either, bitch,'_ I silently growl as I stomp out the cigarette and start on another one. _'So don't get all crabby.'_  
  
 _'You are a stupid, stupid boy!'_ My conscious angrily snaps before disappearing, leaving me with my thoughts.  
  
 _'No I'm not,'_ I silently responded but got no answer.  
  
Fine.  
  
That's cool.  
  
See if I fucking care.  
  
Huffing out a black cloud, brown eyes lazing watch it float upwards and mingle with the white clouds.  
  
 _'I don't like Dahvie,'_ I once more repeat, inhaling again and again while confidence dripped from my tone like honey. _'I **don't.** He's just the first boy to actually challenge me and make the chase harder.'_  
  
And that was the **truth.**  
  
Dahvie is the first boy to challenge me.  
  
 _True._  
  
Dahvie does make the chase harder.  
  
 _True._  
  
Dahvie is just a toy to me.  
  
...  
  
 **Lie.**  
  
But, no one needs to know that.  
  
And if I ignore that little fact, well, who's to know?

* * *

 ***Jayy's POV**  
  
I **still** don't like Dahvie.  
  
I'm **still** standing with my argument that is was momentary lapse of judgment.  
  
I'm **still** telling the truth when I say Dahvie's challenging.  
  
And I'm **still** telling the **truth** when I say Dahvie's **nothing** but a toy **to me.**  
  
Even though it's Monday and I've been avoiding Dahvie like the Black Plague.  
  
But, that doesn't matter.  
  
It's not like I **_meant_** to avoid him.  
  
It's just, well, when I see him coming my way I remember that I **forgot** something and I turn around...  
  
Making it **look** like I'm avoiding him.  
  
Which I'm **not.**  
  
I'm **not.**  
  
 ** _"I'm not!"_** I hiss, thinking I had silently said it.  
  
My thought was proven wrong when a male voice speaks up from my side.  
  
"You're not what?"  
  
Onyx eyes snap over to my left side as I tense, the cigarette hanging from my pierced lips unlit.  
  
"I didn't see you there," I murmur, forcing myself to act composed so Kevin wouldn't see my inner turmoil.  
  
I should've known better.  
  
After all, Kevin's not my best friend just because he was the one who found Christopher and I before I also bled to death, like Chris did.  
  
Goose bumps pop up over my pale skin as I remember that dreaded night.  
  
However, before I can sink into my depressed state (which I always get into when I think about my lover), Kevin's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.  
  
"You were lost in your thoughts," Kevin replies, leaning against the school's brick wall and gazing up at the bright blue sky littered with white puffy clouds. "So, you're not what?"  
  
"Not what?" I repeat like a parrot, knowing full well what he was talking about but not wanting to talk about it.  
  
"Don't play stupid with me, Jayy," Kevin easily responds, his eyes still trained on the sky. "Now either talk or I'll force it out of you."  
  
"Oh?" I query, not even sparing Kevin a sideways glance as I inhale and exhale. "And, pray tell, what will you do? Choke me to death? My lungs already black, I'll die in time."  
  
"Shock you to death," Kevin answers, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he finally turned his true eye color on me: amber.  
  
"Oh? And what's the news that'll knock my socks of?" I sarcastically inquire, snorting a little at my words before inhaling again...  
  
"I'm in love with Emily."  
  
Only to, for once in my life, splutter it out.  
  
"W-What?" I choke out the question, my black eyes wide as I inhale oxygen to ease the fire burning over my lungs.  
  
"I. Am. In. Love. With. Emily. Aragon," Kevin slowly punctuates each word while gazing at me with a full blown smirk.  
  
 _'Holy mother of shit,_ ' Was the only thing I could think.  
  
And I'm not even joking.  
  
"Fuck," I mutter while I still gaze wide eyed at my best friend, "You really meant what you said about killing me with shock."  
  
"You of all people know I don't lie unless it's necessary," Kevin quietly murmurs, his amber eyes drilling holes in my face.  
  
"I know," I reply, slowly becoming more functional. "Just...shocked, I guess."  
  
"You were," Kevin teasingly smirked, "Admit it."  
  
"Ease it, Cole," I murmur, a small grin tugging at my lips. "Don't let it go to your head. We've already got one arrogant asshole. No need to add another one."  
  
The only response I received was an eye roll.  
  
We're both silent for a while before Kevin decides to break it.  
  
"Aren't you going to interrogate me?" Kevin queries, turning his amber eyes on my relaxed form.  
  
"Do you want me to?" I shot back instead, not really seeing the point of asking something when it's clear Kevin's decided how he feel.  
  
"Yes," Kevin confidently answers, turning his body so he was facing me.  
  
"Okay," I murmur, deciding to humor him a bit (the things I do for the people I love). "When did you find out you...'loved' Aragon?"  
  
"I've always known," Kevin answers, shocking me once more.  
  
"Wait, wait!" Obsidian eyes turn and clash with amber orbs. "You're telling me you've always know?! And you didn't tell me?!"  
  
And you know what reply I got?  
  
A shrug!  
  
A fucking, simple ass shrug!  
  
"It just didn't come up," Was all Kevin added before changing the topic. "Next question."  
  
"Woah, woah, wait a damn minute here-" I start only to be interrupted by Kevin.  
  
"Next question," Kevin slowly states, his voice filled with authority. **"Now."**  
  
White teeth clamp down on my tongue as I hold back all my curse words I'd love to tell my dear best friend.  
  
"How?" I finally force out the next question, my tone articulating my frustration and anger.  
  
Either Kevin didn't notice it or Kevin didn't care because he answered as if I wasn't at all angry.  
  
"We were talking and-"  
  
"Woah, woah!" I interrupt, my pierced eyebrows furrowing as I turned towards my friend. "You were talking? As in talking where you're all nice and friendly?"  
  
"And suddenly she snapped and some things came out and then I realize that being a bad boy wasn't going to get her," Kevin continues on as if I had never spoken up. "It was being me, the real me, the human me, that was going to win her heart over. And so I dropped the mask, dropped the facade I've been wearing for so long, and just revealed to her the guy I am on the inside."  
  
Was it just me or does this sound like me?  
  
But I stay quiet, both because I was baffled and because...because I was transfixed.  
  
 _'If I show Dahvie that I'm human,'_ The thought slowly crosses my mind, _'If I show him the real me, will he fall for me?'_  
  
"Ask me why," Kevin whispered, amber eyes intently trained on my face.  
  
"What?" I question, snapping out of my thoughts.  
  
"Ask. Me. Why," Kevin beseeched.  
  
Suddenly, my lips and mouth felt like a desert; they felt dry and hot, no water in site.  
  
Forcing a gulp while pushing down the anticipation (and was that fear?), I force out the last question that seemed to more than just a simple question.  
  
"W-Why?"  
  
And it really showed my nervousness when I stuttered because I never stutter.  
  
 ** _Ever._**  
  
"Because, even though she hates my guts, she forgave me when she saw I was human just like her," Kevin slowly stated while holding my eyes, "Because even though I acted like a total flirt that didn't give a damn about her, she accepted me when I told her my feelings were real and sincere. Because in the end, no matter how hard I try to fight it, Emily's my rock. She's the one that makes all my anger and frustration melt away; she's the one that makes all my bad days turn into good days."  
  
"Because my heart belongs to her," Kevin finally murmured, his gaze unwavering just like his voice. "And it always has, ever since I first saw her and the day she showed me she wasn't like the others. She wasn't going to sit there and take it, no. Emily will fight until her dying breath. Just to prove that I didn't deserve her until I realized that she didn't want to be a one night stand that wouldn't mean a thing."  


"Because the heart," Kevin stopped for a moment, a bitter chuckle escaping his lips before reconnecting our eyes, his amber orbs flashing with pain and truth. "That stupid organ falls for the people we thought would never want us. It falls for the people we know we don't deserve."  
  
"But we fall," Kevin continues, his voice wiser beyond his age. "And we fall, and we fall, and we keep falling no matter how many times we try to fight it, no matter how many times we attempt to hold on to the rope. We fall. And that's life. We fall in love, and we fall for the people that, in the end, will make us whole."  
  
I stay silent through the whole exchange while the words instantly sunk into the pores of my body and rushing to my brain, causing it to shut down from the overload.  
  
"That is why I love Emily," Kevin finished, giving me a soft smile before turning on his heels and walking away.  
  
And I let him.  
  
Why?  
  
I don't know.  
  
Maybe it's because my mouth had gotten drier and drier until I could barely feel any liquid.  
  
Or maybe it was because his words affected me beyond what I expected.

 

* * *

 

 _'Why am I here?'_ I silently questioned as I trekked through overgrown grass, passing the all too familiar gray headstones.  
  
 _'Oh, that's right, I just instinctively drove here,'_ I answered my silent question, my hand gripping the green steam littered with two dark thorns.  
  
And it was true.  
  
Whenever I just wanted to think without the pressure of keeping up my bad boy reputation, or when I wanted to be close to my lover, I drove here.  
  
It was stupid.  
  
I mean, Chris's dead; he isn't coming back.  
  
I know that.  
  
But it still doesn't erase the fact that it was the man I love that died.  
  
 _'Stop it!'_ I silently growl to myself as I stop in front of my lover's grave, shaking my head to get rid of the negative thoughts. _'He wouldn't like the fact that I'm all depressed.'_  
  
A soft sigh escapes past pierced lips as I crouch down and gently lay down the roses I got before situating myself, my back pressed against the stone and my eyes trained up towards the sky.  


"Hey, babe," I quietly greet, my eyes still trained on the sky while my fingers brushed against the ground where Chris's tomb lay six feet under. "I'm back, again."  
  
Words stop flowing as I pause, wondering what the hell I should say.  
  
 _'It's not like anyone's around anyway,'_ I bitterly think as black eyes disappear, my fists clenching for a moment before relaxing once more.  
  
"I know I usually don't come here unless on the day you died or just to think," I start up again, throwing all my caution to the wind and just letting the truth spill out. "And...and I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry for a lot of things."  
  
"I'm sorry we ever fought and I never came home that night," I let all my apologizes wash out of my mouth, hoping and praying to a God that maybe-just maybe-it would ease the guilt torch I've been carrying for a long time now. "I'm sorry for saying I didn't need you when we had an argument; I'm sorry I made you cry and worry and stress; I'm sorry I made you life hell; I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to protect you from those assholes; I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to save you but hold you and tell you it'll be alright."  
  
I stop, a bitter laugh escaping my mouth and salty tears (that I hadn't noticed) slipping into the open cavarn.  
  
"I'm sorry I lied," I whisper, obsidian eyes disappearing as more tears slipped down. "I said it was okay. That we'd be okay. But it wasn't oaky, and it wouldn't be okay. You-you died..."  
  
A strangled sob escapes its prison as the tears fall faster, little choked back noises escaping as well.  
  
"And I-I'm st-stuck here, living while y-you're s-six f-feet u-u-under," The words cease speaking as I start sobbing, all the pain and guilt finally freed from the box I had it chained in.  
  
"God I-I'm so-so f-fu-fucking s-so-sor-sorry, Chris!" The scream rips out of my throat as I throw my face into my hands, wishing not for once that it had been me to die.  
  
That it had been me that had bled to death.  
  
So I sat there, sobbing my heart and guilt and pain out.  
  
And when I coherent enough (aka I was still bawling like a little baby but this time when I spoke it was easily understood), I gave out my last apology that meant more to me than the rest (except the face that I wish I had died and not Chris).  
  
"A-A-And I-I'm s-so-sorry, C-C-Chris, f-for f-fa-fa-falling i-i-in l-l-lo-love a-ag-again."  
  
There.  
  
It's off my chest.  
  
All my darkest feelings coming to the surface to reveal their grotesque form.  
  
And it felt good, you know?  
  
But that didn't stop the river I was currently crying.  
  
It wasn't until I felt a gentle breeze, a loving caress, that I raised my head...  
  
Only to gasp out in shock as I noticed a figure standing right in front of me.  
  
But not just any figure: **_My dead lover._**

"Chris," The name, a name I uttered many times before, slips past my lips as my black eyes gaze up at my boyfriend.

"Hey love," Chris softly smiles, the transparent gesture lifting up his white cheeks. "Surprise?"  
  
I can't speak.  
  
I can't move.  
  
Hell, I can't even breathe!  
  
How else am I supposed to fucking act when my lover, whose dead by the way, suddenly appears in front of me?  
  
"You're shocked, I can tell," Chris gives me a teasing smile, his blue eyes twinkling with laughter. "Breathe, though, darling. I need you alive so I can tell you something I should've told you long time ago."  
  
"W-Wh-What?" I choke out the question, my black eyes and face filled with pure wonder.  
  
"I'm selfish, Jayy," Chris confesses with a sad, gnarled smile gracing his handsome face. "Even though I clearly can't anymore, I wanted you to love me and only me like I love you."  
  
"I do love you, Chris," I whisper, my heart wrenching as I spoke those words because I knew that it was true.  
  
But it was also a lie.  
  
"Jayy, you know I love you, forever and always," Chris softly spoke as he walked (floated, really) towards me, bending down and placing a hand (that was freezing cold) on my cheek while gazing into my red rimmed eyes. "But I was selfish and naive, well, ignorant really. I should've known, should've seen the pain I was causing you. I should've told you a long time ago, but no, I wanted to keep you all to myself."  
  
"I'll always be yours," I try to reassure my lover, not wanting to hear the pain so obvious in his musical voice.  
  
"No, Jayy, you won't," Chris softly refutes, giving me a sad smile. "At least, not after I'm through with you."  
  
"What do you mean?" I inquire, tilting my head as I basked in my lover's touch.  
  
"My death," Chris pauses, gently stroking my cheek at the flash of pain crossing over my features. "You do realize it wasn't your fault, right?"  
  
"Yes, it was!" I shout, my fists clenching as my eyes brimmed with tears again. "I should've protected you! I should've-"  
  
"Jayy, you aren't god," Chris easily interrupts, narrowing his eyes when I tried to open my mouth. "No, shush. None of it, and I mean none of it, was your fault. Did you take the bat and bash my head in?"  
  
"Well-" I once more try to speak but is again interrupted.  


"Jayy," Chris growls, his voice holding that warning tone. "Answer the fucking question."  
  
Uh oh, cusing Chris means I should do what he says, lest I want a spirit haunting my ass.  
  
"No," I finally murmur, the answer too quiet but Chris heard it.  
  
"Did you punch, kick, and cut me?" Chris queries, his hand still stroking my cheek.  
  
"No," I whisper.  
  
"Did you cause me to bleed out?"  
  
"I could've stopped the blood!" I shouted, wanting-no, needing- to prove to Chris that I could've done better.  
  
"No, Jayy, you couldn't have," Chris murmurs, giving me a soft smile while his blue eyes glowed with tears (can ghosts even cry?). "I was going to die no matter. Even if Kevin had appeared sooner, even if the ambulance had arrived faster, I would've died either way."  
  
"W-Why?" I whimper, obsidian eyes disappearing behind pale eyelids to hold back the tears threatening to over spill. "You didn't deserve it, Chris. You had your whole life ahead of you! You shouldn't have died."  
  
"But I did, Jayy," Chris ruthlessly adds salt to the wound. "And that's that. I was meant to die, Jayy. And I think that it's time for you to accept that fact and let go of the past."  
  
"How can I?" I question brokenly, reopening my eyes to reveal tear glazed orbs. "You were my life, Chris. How can I just forget about that?"  
  
"I never said you had to forget me, Jayy," Chris soothingly answered, stroking my cheek and patting it. "I just said move on. And, I see you already have, if the way you said "were" instead of "is" like you usually do."  
  
"What?" I whisper disbelievingly, rewinding my past sentence only to realize he was right.  
  
"Oh god, Chris," I whimper, clenching my eyes shut once more. "I-I d-didn't mean it, I-I swear."  
  
"Jayy," Chris softly sighed, shaking his head before looking at me. "It's okay, Jayy. I knew that one day, you'd leave me. I may not want you to, but my love for you overrides my selfish desires, and if this Dahvie kid makes you happy, then be with him."  
  
"Chris, I-" I try to speak, but the words get trapped inside my throat, as if a noose were rapidly tightening around.  
  
"Jayy, I love you," Chris seriously states, "I love you and I'll love for eternity. And that's not going to change. But you've got to stop beating yourself up for something that wasn't even your fault! You've gotta stop living in that wretched past, and start looking towards the beautiful. And you want to know why, Jayy?"  
  
"Because you love me?" I throw out, softly smiling as Chris let out a boisterous laugh.  
  
"That, and because I see you and Dahvie in the future, happily married with a little kid running around the house begging for its parents attention," Chris murmurs, "I see you happier than you could be with love written all over your face. I see you free from all this burden you've been carrying for so long."  
  
"I see you being the man you used to be, Jayy," Chris stops, blue eyes glowing even more while tears slid down my face from all those sweet words. "That's what I see. And I love you enough to want that for you."  
  
"So-please, for me-stop living this nightmare, love," Chris all but begs, cold fingers swiping away the tears that trickled down from my eyes like raindrops from the sky. "And start living the future that'll give you everything you've wanted and more."  
  
"W-What about you?" I question while gazing into his blue eyes, searching for the answer I desperately wanted. "I can't-I can't forget you, Chris. I-I love you too much."  
  
"Then **don't** forget me," Chris whispers in response, "But open yourself up to Dahvie, let him in. Let him stitch up all the wounds I've caused and reopened. Let him fix you and love you until you're brand new. Let **Dahvie** **love you** like **you** **love him** , Jayy."  
  
Slowly, but surely, I nod my head.  
  
"Promise me, Jayy," Chris whispers urgently, his blue eyes flickering up to the sky and back to me. "Promise me that'll never forget me. Promise me that you'll let Dahvie in. Promise me you won't screw this relationship up because you're scared of betraying me. Promise me you won't relive that moment where I died. Promise me, Jayy, promise me that you'll no longer drown in your regret."  
  
"I-I-I-" I can barely speak, the tears flowing down faster as I noticed Chris disappearing inch by inch.  
  
"Promise me, love!" Chris shouts, his blue eyes pleading and hand touching my cheek, only to slide right through.  
  
"I promise," I finally find my voice to make my last promise.  
  
"Good," Chris gave me a soft smile before leaning forward and brushing his lips against my forehead, shivers racing down my spine at the sudden cold. "Keep your promise, Jayy. Please."  
  
"I-I will," I vow before whispering one last sentence. "I love you."  
  
"And I love you, Jayy Von Monroe," Chris whispered before fading away, leaving only the grass and tombs and...  
  
And me.  
  
Black eyes slowly raise up into the sky, set in not only contentment but determination as well.  
  
 _'I vow I'll keep all my promises to you, Chris,'_ I silently promised, slowly getting up and wiping off the dirt clinging to me skinny's.  
  
 _'And for you, Chris,'_ I start walking towards the iron gates, stopping for one moment and sparing one last glance back at his headstone. _'I'll keep those promises.'_  
  
 ** _'I swear.'_**  


 

 


	14. Friends or More?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments. "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own BOTDF, nor do I own Dahvie or Jayy; I am not implying Jahvie is real, either. Enjoy and remember to comment/kudos/bookmark please! Also, this chapter is dedicated to Myrikii for being the first to kudo; thanks so much hun! I really appreciate it :3

***Jayy's POV**  
  
Happy.  
  
Content.  
  
Weightless.  
  
Floating on thin air.  
  
Those are all the emotions I felt after (finally!) coming to terms with my true feelings for the one and only, Dahvie Vanity.  
  
The new innocent kid that made me chase him, teasing me with those delicious moans and delectable, begging to be kissed lips of his.  
  
The boy that stole my heart without my consent from my under my nose.  
  
But, now that I know Christopher forgives me and approves of Dahvie, the last one doesn't bother me anymore.  
  
Quite the contrary actually, I'm happy about it.  
  
Because this is my chance, my second opportunity to show someone who just might be "the one" that I'm worth fighting for.  
  
That I'm worth loving.  
  
And, if does Dahvie does love me back, then I can promise you now I'll love him with every fiber of my being.  
  
A soft genuine smile crawls over my lips as I flip over on my black and red covered bed, brown eyes gazing up at the black ceiling.  
  
 _'Not to be a mood killer or anything cause god knows I'm fucking happy that you finally got your head out of your ass and realized your feelings,_ ' My oh so wonderful conscious starts, ' _But just how are you going to get Dahvie?'_  
  
That causes me to freeze, brown eyes widening as I realized I hadn't thought of the possibility that Dahvie just might now want me,  
  
 _'Well...I-I...'_ I silently start to respond but end up trailing off as a wave of pure anguish (the kind I hadn't felt since Christopher died) hitw me like a slap in the face, my heart shattering into a trillions of little pieces.  
  
' _Calm down hun!'_ My conscious quickly intervenes, _'I only meant how are you going to woo him? I mean, there's no doubt in my-er-our mind that Dahvie likes you back, but you have to have an idea of what to do in case he doesn't want to date you right away.'_  
  
 _'I don't know,'_ I honestly reply, pierced eyebrows furrowing as white teeth nibbled on pierced lips while I continue to muse possible ideas.  
  
 _'Do you have an idea?'_ I question my conscious, praying that they'd have an answer that I couldn't come up with in the span of ten minutes.  
  
 _'You could court him,'_ My conscious slowly answers as if tasting the words for the first time.  
  
Huh.  
  
Would you look at that?  
  
Maybe my bitch conscious **is** actually smart.  
  
 _'Cheeky asshole,'_ My conscious huffs out, though its tone articulates its amusement.  
  
 _'Naturally,'_ I smugly replied, the cocky smirk turning into a real smile as I thought about courting Dahvie.  
  
 _'What should I get him, though?'_ I question, my tall form tensing as I came to the realization that the only thing I honestly knew about Dahvie was that he liked Bring Me The Horizon.   
  
And that?  
  
That got me stressed.  
  
Luckily I was blessed with a conscious that, when not acting like a bitch, actually cared about me.  
  
 _'Calm down Jayy!'_ My conscious commands, my body obeying the order and instantly relaxing. _'Let tomorrow come and reveal what it has in store. Who knows, maybe Dahvie will instantly say yes? And he might say no. But either way, that's tomorrow. Just get some sleep and worry about gifts tomorrow.'_  
  
 _'Thanks,'_ I sincerely say, my smile softening as brown eyes started dropping as sleep gently lead me into slumberland.  
  
 _'Your welcome,'_ Was the last I hear (or should I say thought?) before subbcuming to the dark.  
  
And if I dreamt of Dahvie and being together and getting married and having a kid, well...  
  
It'll come true someday.  
  
And hopefully, that day will be soon.  
  
 **/Tuesday Morning. At Dunedin High\**  
  
 ***Jayy's POV**  
  
'I can't do this!' I shrieked inside my mind as I paced the doors leading into the high school.  
  
'Yes you can, Jayy!' My conscious snaps (hey, after ten minutes of repeating the same word over and over you try not snapping). 'Now for fucking god's sake go in that fucking building and confess your fucking love to Dahvie!'  
  
 _'Okay, okay!'_ I respond while rolling my brown eyes. _'Geesh, do you have to get so fucking angry?'_  
  
 _'Angry?!'_ My conscious snarls, preparing for a long ass rant. _'I'll show you angry you-'_  
  
Once more rolling my brown eyes, I quickly tune out my conscious' rant by swinging open the front doors and walking in.  
  
Brown eyes slowly scan the bright hallway, flickering over the students before landing on my target.  
  
 _'Alright Jayy,'_ I inhale deeply, my long legs locking up as I attempted to step forward. _'This is it. It's now or never. Don't screw it up.'_  
  
Inhaling once more, I unfreeze my legs and gradually move towards the love of my life while my heart pounded like a war drum.  
  
 _'Don't screw this up,'_ I silently repeated, my long strides making the journey to Dahvie even shorter than I'd like. _'Don't screw this up.'_  
  
And finally, I reached Dahvie.  
  
Well, I was a few feet away before brown eyes turn from their locker and lock onto mine.  
  
"Dahvie," I whisper while taking another step forward, my eyes scanning the olive colored face flushed bright red.  
  
Surprisingly, I didn't screw up.  
  
Actually, I don't really know how I could've screwed up when Dahvie was the one who tried to run away when he awoke from the trance.  
  
Quicker than a snake, I lung and scoop Dahvie up before throwing him over my shoulder like a caveman.  
  
"L-Let g-go!" Dahvie growled, his cheeks flushing even darker unbeknownst to me.  
  
"No," I respond with absolute conviction, slapping his ass when he continued to struggle. "Now stop struggling!"  
  
And that slap was totally worth it when I received a squeak and a held back moan.  
  
Thankfully, Dahvie did stop struggling.  
  
Now, whether it was from the ass slap or my command, I will never know.  
  
All I knew was this was the moment.  
  
No more running away.  
  
No more denying.  
  
No more screams.  
  
No more tears.  
  
No more fears.  
  
No more wet dreams (well, not ones I won't get to act out anyway).  
  
No more fighting what is so clearly right.  
  
And this was right.  
  
Because Dahvie was right, he was good.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, he can live up to Chris's words; maybe Dahvie can fix me and stitch me back up until I'm brand new.  
  
I don't know.  
  
But I did know that I loved Dahvie, and I was willing to do anything he wanted for him to return my feelings.  
  
Finally, we arrived behind the school building and I seat down a pouting Dahvie.  
  
 _'Damn he looks cute,'_ I cooed inside my head as he glared up at me with a pout and red olive cheeks. _'He looks like a kitten.'_  
  
"W-What'd y-you w-want, M-M-Monroe," Dahvie stutters out, cheeks heating up even more as his brown eyes looked everywhere but me.  
  
 ** _That's_** a problem.  
  
A pale hand reaches out and grasps the olive chin in a firm grip, pulling the face until brown eyes met mine.  
  
 _'Here goes nothing,'_ I silently said, inhaling a deep breathe before throwing all caution to the wind.  
  
"I love you," I whispered, my throat tightening around my vocal chords.  
  
And damn if it didn't feel good to finally say the words out loud.  
  
"I love you, Dahvie Vanity," I repeat, my voice growing stronger with each truth that slipped past my lips. "You're stubborn as hell, more destructive than a fire, sexier than an adonis, and perfect, even more than an angel."  
  
"And I love you," I finish while my cheeks flushed pink but I kept going, my heart thundering as I took in the shocked and....and was that hope I saw in those beautiful brown eyes? "And I know I've treated you like shit, as if you were just another body to fuck, but you weren't. You were different from the rest, just like you said. And maybe that's what drew me in, the way you challenged me. I was attracted to you like a moth is to a flame; I couldn't stay away. Couldn't stop thinking about you, and your smile, and your laugh, and your face, and your body, and just you."  
  
"I love you," I repeat, my shoulders lighter than ever as all the emotions I've held back since day one came tumbling out. "And I swear on Christopher's grave that those words are the truth."  
  
"They're real and sincere, Dahvie," I whisper, gazing into the eyes I've come to love so much. "I don't go throwing those three little words around as if they were mere toys. Those words are sacred to me, only the people I love truly deserve them. And you're one of those people, Dahvie. You always have been."  
  
There we go.  
  
I may have exceeded the "Now or Never" expectations.  
  
Oh well.  
  
Every word I spoke-every phrase I said- it was all true.  
  
I just hope Dahvie believes that.  
  
 ***Dahvie's POV**

 _'Holy fuck!'_ I silently said as I gazed up at Jayy, the Jayy that's been flirting and groping me and acting like a general bad boy he is, who had just confessed his love to me. _'I did not expect anything like this to happen today.'_  
  
And it was true.  
  
After I had finally come to terms with the fact that I was in love with a bad boy that (I thought) only wanted me to fuck, I had kind of gotten a little mopey.  
  
Okay, a lot mopey, but can you blame me?  
  
Jayy clearly doesn't do feelings or relationships, so why would he want one with me?  
  
And have you seen Jayy?  
  
Sex on legs, people.  
  
Sex.On.Legs.  
  
So why would a greek adonis like Jayy want a shrimp, chubby guy like me?  
  
They wouldn't.  
  
So that's why I'm standing here, gazing up at Jayy while my mouth opens and closes like fish out of water because I'm shocked.  
  
Astonished.  
  
Surprised.  
  
Bewildered.  
  
Baffled.  
  
Confused.  
  
And whatever else words that mean shock and confused.  
  
"Dahvie?" Jayy's melodic voice reaches my ears, causing warmth to rush through my body at the concerned and loving tone he used. "Are you-are you okay love?"  
  
Olive cheeks flame ever redder at the term of endearment while my heart does a backwards jump (and hearts were not meant to do that people!).  
  
"U-U-Um-Um..." I can barely speak corhently, my whole body still frozen from the confession and from the emotions swilring and mixing together.  
  
On one hand, I was ecstatic; Jayy Von Monroe, residental bad boy and player and my "flirter," just confessed to being in love with me like I loved him.  
  
But on the other hand, I was scared and petrified by fear because...because what if Jayy's lying? What if, even though he said he was, wasn't telling the truth and is just getting me relaxed so he can fuck me and dump me?  
  
I-I-I couldn't bear that.  
  
I couldn't bear the pain, the heartbreak, if Jayy was lying just so he could sleep with me.  
  
And you can call me paranoid, but would you instantly say yes to a guy that's only showed you that he wants to fuck you and that's it? Would you?

No?  
  
Then keep your naive comments to yourself!  
  
Slowly shaking my head, I finally come back to reality while my body gradually comes back alive.  
  
"J-J-Ja-Jayy," I whisper, once more shaking my head as I continued to war with myself on the inside.  
  
 _'You love him!'_ Side A shouted, the side that supported telling Jayy I loved him back.  
  
 _'He could be lying for all you know!'_ Side B refuted, the side that supported being friends with Jayy and getting to know him before jumping into a relationship.  
  
 _'You only have one life to live!'_ Side A growled while stabbing a member of side B with a spear (and were the fuck did that even come from? And how in Hade's name did my mind gain weapons?). _'For all you know Jayy might be telling the truth and he might be "the one." Are you really going to lose out on a chance of eternal happiness just because of fear?'_  
  
 _'And you've got time!'_ Side B snarls while slamming a club into a member of side A's head. _'You don't instantly need to rush into a relationship! You're still young, you've got your life ahead of you! No need to jump into a damn relationship that might not even be real!'_  
  
 _'Why you-'_ Side A starts but I block them out.  
  
Brown eyes clench shut as I deeply inhale, feeling my whole body being teared into two parts (and let me tell you guys and girls, not a fun thing to feel).  
  
"Dahvie?" Jayy's voice breaks through my thoughts, the concerned tone forcing me to re-open my arms and meet his.  
  
"You okay babe?" Jayy inquires, gently brushing a black strand that had fallen if front of me.  
  
"I-I-I'm f-f-f-fi-fi-fin-fine," I stutter out as a reply, cheeks once more turning red at the gentle gesture.  
  
"You sure?" Jayy questions, his brown eyes peering into mine. "You looked really upset and frustrated for a moment there."  
  
"I...." I trail off, wishing I could find the answer to that confession.  
  
Wishing I knew if Jayy really was telling the truth.  
  
"I-I...." I sutter once more before stopping, my throat tightening around my vocal chords like an anaconda.  
  
Brown eyes once more disappear as I inhale a trembling breath, shoving away all my feelings and just focusing on not passing out.  
  
 _'I love Jayy, I do,'_ I thought, squeezing my eyes to keep ahold of the darkness. _'But...can I trust him? Can I trust his words? Do I go with my gut or my heart? Which way do I choose? What's wrong and what's right? The line's so goddamn thin that I can't see! I just....I just need an answer.'_  
  
So I calmed down; I didn't think, didn't pay attention to battle cries erupting from each side in my body, didn't pay attention to the man continually touching me with those calloused hands of his, I just fouced on my heart.  
  
And finally, I was granted my answer.  
  
Calm now, I open my eyes and gaze up at the man I love and would willingly give my heart to.  
  
But we need to do something before I hand over my heart.  
  
"Prove it to me," I softly speak, my face calm and brown eyes serious and relaxed.  
  
"What?" Jayy queries, confusion etched all over his nicely defined face as he gazed down at me with furrowed pierced eyebrows.  
  
"Prove to me you love me," I repeat, my voice louder and stronger this time. "Prove to me that you aren't using feelings against me just to get into my pants."  
  
"I-I-do you really think I would do that to you?" Jayy questions with shock and hurt articulated through his tone.  
  
"Yes," I answer, sincerity written all over my face. "And I'm sorry for thinking that, but do you honestly expect me to believe you right away? Jayy, the way you treated me, always flirting with me and telling how much you'd love to fuck me, how am I supposed to believe this is real?"  
  
Jayy just nods his head, brown eyes portraying his sadness and hurt, but there was also a determination mixed in with the other two emotions.  
  
"I'm not saying give me gifts or anything," I murmur, raising one olive hand and tracing the outline of Jayy's black tank top (and if I shivered at the strong muscles beneath the article of clothing, well, no one needs to know). "But prove to me you actually love me."  
  
"How?" Jayy inquires before gently gripping my hand and raising it to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on it. "I'll do anything."  
  
"Be my friend," I blurt out, cheeks heated up as I got distracted by the feel of Jayy's warm lips pressed against my cold hand. "Tell me things about you, show me the human you are. That's how."  
  
"Deal," Jayy instantly agrees, pressing another kiss to my hand. "But can I still get you gifts? That kind of was my back up plan."  
  
And you know what my reply was?  
  
A giggle.  
  
A loud, boisterous giggle.  
  
Apparently Jayy liked that sound (even though I hated it), if his bright sun-blinding smile was anything to go by.  
  
"If that's what you want," I finally respond, letting the shy smile grace my lips.  
  
"It is," Jayy murmured, placing one last kiss to my hand before letting it go. "And I promise you won't regret this."  
  
"I hope not," Was all I said.  
  
"You won't," Jayy persisted, his tone filled with confidence.  
  
"You love me that much?" I quietly ask, gazing up at him.  
  
"Yes," Jayy answered with no hesitancy.  
  
"Good," And if I smiled, well, that's because Jayy agreed.  
  
It wasn't because I felt all warm and gooey inside.  
  
"So, shall we start over?" Jayy inquires, straightening his form and giving me a soft smile.  
  
I nod my head in response.  
  
"Well then, I'm Jayy Von Monroe," Jayy holds out his hand, giving me a sweet smile (that made my heart race). "And your name, beautiful?"  
  
Another giggle escapes my lips as I blush, playfully narrowing my eyes at Jayy.  
  
"Dahvie Vanity," I finally reply, taking his hand and shaking it (and damn if our hands didn't fit as if it were meant to be). "It's nice to meet you, Jayy."  
  
"The pleasure's all mine, babe," Jayy teases, giving me a hesitant smile.  
  
I returned it.  
  
And it was that day that started our friendship that would one day hopefully lead to more.  
  
Hopefully that one day is soon.


	15. Wooing Your Best Friend, a How To Guide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill: Me? A 15 year old who in no way, shape, form owns BOTDF. They are their own individuals. I am, once more, not implying Jahvie is real. Okie, so I have this like super-duper awesome friend who was just a sweetheart and on Quotev, in her story, she advertised my story and because of her I know have 10 favorites! So this is my way of repaying her.  
> Go check out on Quotev, "Call Me You Master~Jahvie FanFic" by Isis Von Sykes; this story is absolute perfection and just amazing.  
> http://www.quotev.com/story/4899864/Call-Me-Your-MasterJahvie-FanFic/ (Check it out!)  
> Also, if you have a Quotev account, follow her!  
> http://www.quotev.com/IsisVonSykes (Check her out!)

***Jayy's POV (Sunday Night)**

_'Alright!_ ' I silently say, determination articulated' in my inner tone as I poised my pencil over the blank sheet of paper. _'I'm ready! Let's get the ideas flowing!'_  
  
So I waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
And waited.  
  
 **And waited...**  
  
' _Damn it!'_ I growl softly as I threw down the wooden pencil, my hands coming up and carding through my black spikes. _'I've been friends, best friends really, with Dahvie for two months! Two long, fucking months seeing the love of my life-and yes, I am in love, I don't give a flying fuck if I'm young-and not being able to do a damn thing!'_  
  
I probably don't even have to tell you how many times my hand and I got acquainted.  
  
Seriously-I'm not even joking- with the way we were moving, we were off to marriage with how familiar we got with each other!  
  
Now, I could've just gone out and found a pretty boy to fuck, but I didn't.  
  
Why?  
  
Simple: **Dahvie Vanity.**  
  
He changed me, whether he realized it or not (though I think he does notice with the way his whatever-colored-contacts he has in his eyes that day shine with happiness. It does not melt me into a puddle of goo. It doesn't!), intentionally or accidentally.  
  
Dahvie made me realize two things that altered my whole foundation (then again, as soon as I set my sights on that boy and he slapped me, I knew I was in for one hell of a rollercoaster):  
  
One: if I ever wanted to have Dahvie-both physically and mentally-then I'd have to stop sleeping around and prove I only wanted him, not him as a quick fuck or him as a back up bed partner but as a boyfriend, lover, whatever word that means  long-term.  
  
Two: **I didn't want that lifestyle.**  
  
I know, number two was the most shocking to me, after all I didn't look bothered by it, did I?  
  
In fact, I was in so far deep that even I believed it.  
  
But what I never told anybody was that the first boy I slept with- the very first boy I ever touched after Christopher died-is that as soon as we were kissing and fucking, I felt so goddamn horrible afterwards that I left instantly (it didn't help that I was drinking that night and I woke up with a hangover).  
  
And it took one boy, one innocent boy, to crack my eyes open to that fact.  
  
Yet, I didn't regret it; I didn't regret meeting Dahvie and pursuing him, nor did I regret that he opened my eyes to the chaos of the world I was living.  
  
So I changed, for both me and Dahvie, and it was the best thing that had ever happened to me.  
  
And now, here I am, sitting in my room while gazing at the blank piece of paper wondering how the hell I should start by wooing Dahvie.  
  
Yes people, **wooing** , as in I'm-trying-to-get-you-attracted-to-me-by-doing-things-that-you-like-so-you'll-say-yes-to-me-when-I-ask-you-on-a-date.  
  
 **That** kind of wooing.  
  
Now, I can gladly say I'm Dahvie's best friend (maybe not as close as Emily, but close enough in our own special way) and that I know him pretty well (not everything, such as why he moved, but enough), but that's the problem.  
  
I know him, but not enough to where I know what items (to get) and words (to say) will make Dahvie lean more towards the "yes" answer instead of the "no" answer when I ask him out.  
  
 _'If you ask him out,'_ My conscious coughs out, mentally rolling their eyes. ' _Face it Jayy, the thought of asking Dahvie out terrifies you because you're scared of him saying no.'_  
  
 _'Shut it bitch,'_ I growl, cheeks flushing a light pink as I tried vehemently to deny that accusation. _'And I am not afraid!'_  
  
 _'So, if I asked you to ask Dahvie out right now, you'd do it?'_ My conscious inquires, its tone belying how much it was humoring me and wouldn't believe a word I said.  
  
 _'Yes!'_ I respond, narrowing my brown eyes as I glared at the paper.  
  
 _'Then do it,'_ My conscious commands, _'Right now.'_  
  
 _'Now?'_ I question while my pierced brows furrow (and I pointedly ignored the way my heart clenched and wrenched in-I will deny this-fear). _'But I have to woo him first! And then we have to take it slow and-'_  
  
 _'You're afraid,'_ My conscious smugly states. _'Don't deny it Jayy.'_  
  
 _'Am not!'_ I reply, crossing my arms over my chest as I glared (and pouted, though you have no real proof) at the desk.  
  
 _'Are to,'_ My conscious refutes.  
  
 _'Am not!'_  
  
 _'Are to!'_  
  
 _'Am not!'_  
  
 _'Am not!'_  
  
 _'Are to!'_  
  
 **Silence.**  
  
Brown eyes widen in shock while my mouth drops and hits the floor, and my consicous?  
  
Oh it was filled with so much fucking arrogance that it could've built the wall of China!  
  
 _'Fuck you!'_ I hiss, cheeks tinged pink as I realized I had just admitted to being afraid. **  
**  
 _'Call him, then,'_ My conscious challenges, _'Prove to me you're not afraid.'_  
  
And as childishly as it was, and even though it wasn't a real person, I obeyed.  
  
So I grabbed my cell phone, scrolled through my contacts (and I did not have Dahviekins as his contact name. And it certainly did not have a heart by it! You're seeing things), and clicked on a familiar number I have grown accustomed to calling and texting.  
  
 **Ring!**  
  
"Ello?" Dahvie's soft, sleep filled voice speaks through the phone, causing my heart to stop completely in its tracks because that voice?  
  
It was so.Fucking.Adorable!  
  
Literally, all I wanted to do was go over to Dahvie's house (which I have been to a couple of times) and scoop in his arms and just hold him.  
  
Fuck, I've lost all my badassness, now I'm a love struck fool.  
  
Oh well, I'd rather be a fool in love that lost than never be loved at all.  
  
"H-hey," I choke out, my throat squeezing my vocal chords like a noose.   
  
"Jayy?" Dahvie inquiries, a yawn escaping his mouth (and no doubt he was rubbing his eye so cutely. What? He's been over my place before and fell asleep! So what if I paid extra attention to him when he woke up? He was adorable!)"Why are you calling me at, um, 12'o clock?"  
  
"Er, um, well that's..." I stutter out and falter, my sentence trailing off as I broke out in a cold sweat.  
  
'Oh god my conscious was right!' I silently wailed as brown eyes clenched shut, pale cheeks tinged pink as I attempted to unravel the knot that was my tongue.  
  
"Jayy? Are you alright?" Dahvie questions, his voice coming out of sleep and into worry mode.  
  
"I'm fine Davs," I instantly reassure him, thanking the lord my words came out smooth. "I,er, I just wanted to..."  
  
"To?" Dahvie interrogates.  
  
"To, um, say goodnight?" I question, wincing as I heard how my voice cracked at the end of the sentence.  
  
"Oh..." Dahvie replied...  
  
Was that disappointment I heard?   
  
No wait, nevermind, he wouldn't be disappointed; I mean, why should he?  
  
"Well then, goodnight Jayy bear," Dahvie chirps, erasing whatever doubts I had about the disappointed tone.  
  
"Night babe," The words flow out of my mouth before I can stop them.  
  
Tensing, I wait for the inevitable lecture I'm going to get...  
  
But tht doesn't happen.  
  
No, instead, Dahvie giggles (and damn did he have a cute ass giggle. Well, he had a cute ass too).  
  
And quicker than you could say fuck, I melted into a puddle of goo.  
  
 _'God, how did you lose an angel like Dahvie?'_ I silently question as brown glazed over eyes stared up at the ceiling, the phone still clenched in my hands.  
  
"Goodnight Jayy," Dahvie repeated, and I could tell he was smiling because his tone was happy and content.  
  
Beautiful in my opinion.  
  
"Night," I respond in a dream like tone, not removing the phone until I heard Dahvie click the end button (which took a long time for som ereason).  
  
 _'Not afraid, right?'_ My conscious all but states in this tone that screams, "Don't even answer that."  
  
I do.  
  
It was actually two simple words: 'Fuck you.'  
  
My conscious snorts before receding, leaving me alone with the paper that was mocking me with its blankness.  
  
 _'It's going to be a long night,'_ Was all I thought before I turned back to brainstorming possible ideas for wooing Dahvie.  
  
Needless to say, the night gave me a whole shit load of headaches and a lot of hope.

* * *

***Dahvie's POV (Monday Morning)**

"Good morning, Em!" I chirp as I hop out of my ride and walked up towards the buildings doors, linking arms with Emily.  
  
"Morning, Dahvs," Emily grinned as she replied, taking in my glowing appearance. "What's got you so happy?"  
  
"Oh you know, things," I vaguely answer, my olive cheeks flushing as I remembered the real reason (hint: the first letter of his name is J).  
  
"Mhm," Emily responded, a smirk slowly crawling over her red lips. "Does it have anything to do with a certain badboy that's just now become your best friend?"  
  
Olive cheeks flush harder in response, only fueling Emily's amusement.  
  
"W-Well, u-um, it-it's n-not, er," I stumble over my words, cheeks now flaming red. "Why's your lips so red, huh?"  
  
Now Emily was the one blushing.  
  
"I-It's n-nothing," And yet Emily still raised her hands and touched her lips as if remembering something.  
  
"Does it have to do with a certain badboy that's just recently become your love interest?" Brown eyes glitter with mishevious ness.  
  
"Sh-Shut u-up," Emily pouts, her blue eyes pleading for me to drop the subject.  
  
And out of the kindness of my heart, I quickly change topics....  
  
Not before making one last comment.  
  
"I'm happy for you, Em. He better treat you right or I'll sick Jayy on him."  
  
"And Jayy will instantly listen to you," Emily smirks, her cheeks still redden but her blue eyes filled with happiness and relief. "After all, we know how wrapped around your pinkie he is."  
  
And if that made my heart pound in happiness and my lips to curl up, well, no one needs to know.  
  
"I guess," I wave off her response, stopping in front of my lockers and turning in the combination...  
  
Only for a note to flutter out and land on the ground at my feet.  
  
Brown eyes blink like an owl, moving towards wide blue eyes before back to the envelope.  
  
Finally, after a long internal debate, I reached down and picked it up.  
  
And with shaking olive hands, I opened it up and pulled out a letter.  
  
Brown eyes slowly read the words, only to bug out of their sockets as my cheeks flushed bright red while my lips turning up into a bright smile.  
  
For on the paper was the sweetest poem I've ever read:  
  
 **Roses are red,**  
  
 **Violets are blue**  
  
 **I've left a lot unsaid**  
  
 **So here's to you:**  
  
 **You're perfect in every way**  
  
 **From your beautiful heart to your amazing eyes**  
  
 **You're lovely and there's so much more to say**  
  
 **But I fail to get it right no matter how many times I try**  
  
 **So here's three words I've longed to say again:**  
  
 **I love you**  
  
 **And there's no other way I'd have it.**  
  
 **Love,**  
  
 **Your Jayy bear**  
  
"What?" Emily queries, trying to peer over my shoulder to see the note but I quickly stuff it towards my chest while my lips remained in a dazzling smile. "Come on, Dahvs! I wanna see what's got you so happy!"  
  
"Nope," I reply, the smile never leaving my lips as my brown eyes searched for the owner of said letter.  
  
Luckily, I found him conversing with Kevin just as they walked in.  
  
As if sensing my burning gaze, Jayy raises his green eyes and connects with mine.  
  
Slowly, I raise the letter, taking in the flash of panic and...was that nervousness?  
  
The almighty Jayy, bad boy and player, nervous?  
  
Well, its a good damn thing he's got such an amazing way with words.  
  
Once his eyes connects with mine, I give him the brilliant smile and mouth two words filled with sincereity.  
  
 **"I love it."**  
  
And once that day was over, I quickly drove home and searched for a frame; once I found one, I put the note in it and placed it by my bedside, tracing over the words and mouthing them to myself.  
  
Now, I honestly have no clue why Jayy did, but really, I didn't care.  
  
Because this poem?  
  
Best thing ever.  
  
It was even better when I finally got to the last sentence that made my heart speed up.  
  
 **"Love,**  
  
 **Your Jayy bear."**  
  
That night, I fell asleep with a content smile on my lips because I knew in the morning I'd see Jayy again.  
  
And you know what?  
  
I'm really starting to not regret falling for him.


	16. Step Two, Compliments are a Necessary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments. "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? A 15 year old girl that has nothing to do with BOTDF, and I'm not implying Jahvie's real either. So, enjoy! Comments, kudos, and bookmarks are appreciated :)

*** Jayy's POV**  
  
 _'Well, I must say,'_ My conscious starts as I enter my red and black covered room, my pale hands throwing my bag on my bed. _'Even though you have absolutely no experience with romance, or wooing anyone for that matter, you did exceptionally well with that letter.'_  
  
 _'I just wrote from the heart,'_ I humbly respond (damn Dahvie! Not only did you change my view on life, but you even changed my attitude!) as I walk over to my desk and plop in the black swivel chair. _'And it was really cheesy, I know, but Dahvie loved it so it was worth it.'_  
  
 _'Aw!_ ' My conscious cooes at my reply, _'You're so in love with him Jayy! My baby's growing up!'_  
  
Green eyes roll sideways as I hear fake sobbing coming from my conscious before they move towards the door where my mom stood, a bright smile etched over her lips and a laundry basket in her hands.  
  
"Hey mom," I greet as I quickly stand and take the basket from her, gently setting it on my bed. "Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm fine, honey," Mom responds, a soft smile replacing her bright one as she moved towards me while gesturing towards the bed. "I was just wondering if we could, you know, talk?"  
  
"About what?" I inquire, sitting on the red and black covers while mentally going over my week to find out if I did something wrong.  
  
"Well, I was just wondering..." Mom falters, her teeth coming out to nibble on her bottom lip as her eyes scanned the room. "I was wondering if, maybe, you know, you met someone?"  
  
"W-What?" I stutter out, doubling over while gazing at her with wide green eyes. "H-How'd you know?! I never said anything!"  
  
"Oh honey," Mom laughs, her aged face laughing as she took in my astonished expression. "I could tell because you've had this look on your face."  
  
"What look?" I ask suspiciously because I certainly don't remember seeing a look on my face.  
  
"The one you always used to wear when Christopher was alive," Mom slowly answers, gauging my reaction before continuing. "The one that screams "I'm so in love I'm floating on cloud nine!" That look."  
  
Green eyes continue to gaze at my mom as I try to snap out of my shock.  
  
I mean, I know I love Dahvie, but I didn't know that it was so obvious that even my mom could see it...  
  
Then again, my mom was my mom and she had that "mother instinct."  
  
"Oh," I slowly say after a pause while running through my mind, trying desperately to find a possible answer that would hold off on my mom knowing.  
  
Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and she loves me and accepts me, but I still don't want to have to go through another "birds and bees" talk.  
  
Seriously.  
  
 **Awkward.**  
  
That's all I can possibly say.  
  
"Jayy, honey, I'm glad that you're in love again," Mom starts, a gentle smile resting upon her cupid bow shaped lips while she sets a hand on my arm. "And whoever is making you this happy, well, you certainly have my blessing for it's been too long since I last saw you this happy."  
  
"So you're not going to give me another talk?" I hopefully question, relief evident in my voice and body.  
  
"No, well, not yet anyway," Mom mischievously answers, her smile turning into a devious smirk.  
  
Pierced lips part and let a groan escape.  
  
"Don't give me that, mister," Mom chides, her smirk slipping and returning into a smile. "I love too much for you to act stupid and whore yourself out."  
  
I hold back a flinch, knowing that if mom ever knew that I used to sleep around then she'd be disappointed....and I love my mom too much to ever want to see that look upon her beautiful face.  
  
"I love you too, mom," I reply, wrapping her in my arms and hugging her.  
  
"Good," Mom giggles while pulling back before looking me up and down, leaning in. "So, are you and this unknown boy dating yet?"  
  
"No," I respond, "Not yet, anyway."  
  
"You have a plan," Mom states, a grin crawling over her lips.  
  
"Sorta," I add, a frown marring my face.  
  
"What do you mean "Sorta" Jayy?" Mom pesters, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.  
  
"Well, I'm kinda, um," I stumble over my words, pale cheeks heating up before I spit out the answer. "I'mwooinghim."  
  
"You're wooing him?" Mom slowly says, the fast words finally sinking in.  
  
All I can do is nod, all the blood rushing to my cheeks.  
  
"Well that's nice," Mom responds, her suspicion being replaced by confusion. "But what's the problem?"  
  
"I have no clue what to do next," I answer, shifting as I beseechingly gazed down at my mom.   
  
"What'd you do first?" Mom queries.  
  
"I gave him a letter that was cheesy," I respond, cheeks lighting up even more as I remembered the words I wrote.  
  
"Cheesy as in "Aw that's so sweet!" or cheesy as in "Oh, that's, er, nice?"" Mom interogates, eyeing my with a criticism radiating from her form.  
  
"Cheesy as in it makes me want to barf but he smiles and blushes cheesy," I respond, my mind going back to the moment where Dahvie looked at me and held up the note before smiling and mouthing three little words that made my whole day.  
  
"I'd say your off to a good start if he liked it then," Mom grins before standing up and placing a kiss on my forehead, pulling back and walking towards my door...  
  
Only to stop and throw one advice over her shoulders.  
  
"Compliment him. Now that he knows your feelings and how sincere they are, use them in sentences face to face."  
  
And with those last words, she left.  
  
A huff escapes my pink lips as I plop down on my bed, green eyes gazing up at my ceiling.  
  
 _'Huh,'_ I finally start, my eyes still staring at the ceiling as a slow grin traveled over my lips. _'You know what? I think I just found the next step to wooing Dahvie.'_  
  
 **~Tuesday Morning; Dunedin High~**

 ***Dahvie's POV**  
  
"Come on, Dahvie!" Emily whines as she is dragged by my arm through the hallway (you know, the one she has yet to let go off since we met at the front doors!). "I'm your best friend! Best friends tell each other everything! Including notes that falls from your locker!"

"No Em!" I grumble as I stop in front of my locker, my golden eyes turning on to my tall best friend. "I said it once, and it's not going to change!"  
  
"But why?" Emily pouts, finally letting go of my arm (blood! Finally! There's blood circulating through my arm!) and crossing them over her chest while she pouted at me. "Don't you trust me?"

Oh no, not the puppy eyes and guilt card.  
  
 _'No Dahvie!'_ I forcefully tell myself as I avoid Emily's wide blue eyes that were...were shining with **tears?!**

"No! No don't cry Em!" I instantly respond, my arms coming around and hugging her as I gave into my weak heart. "I'll tell you! I'll tell you, just please don't cry!"  
  
An Olive face winces as I hear a sniffle.  
  
"It was from Jayy!" I finally blurt the answer Emily's wanted out, olive cheeks flushing as I remembered the beautiful words written in the poem. "And it was super cheesy, using the roses are red thing, but it was really sweet and loving and oh my god I sound like a girl!"  
  
A groan escapes fat, pink lips as my cheeks are set on fire.  
  
"What'd it say?" Emily quizzes, her arms wrapping around my smaller frame and holding me (most likely so I don't run away to avoid her questions).  
  
"Er, well it, um," I stumble over my words, my whole face flushing before the dam finally breaks. "It said: "Rose are red, violets are blue; I've left a lot unsaid, so here's to you: You're perfect in every way, From your beautiful heart to your amazing eyes. You're lovely and there's so much more to say, But I fail to get it right no matter how many times I try. So here's three words I've longed to say again: I love you, And there's no other way I'd have it. Love, Your Jayy bear."  
  
"Aw!" Emily coos, pulling away with a dazzling grin on her lips. "That's so sweet!"  
  
"Y-Yeah," I shyly stutter out, a grin curling at my lips as I let Jayy's words wash over me.  
  
Emily's grin gets even bigger when she notices my love struck expression.  
  
"You certainly liked it, didn't you Dahvie?" Emily teases as she finally unwound her arms from me.  
  
"I loved it," I breathe as I swoon.  
  
Emily giggles before gently guiding me towards my locker, snapping me back into reality.  
  
"Thanks," I mumble, my tone articulating its embarrassment.   
  
"Hey, don't be embarrassed," Emily gently upbraids, the grin never leaving her lips. "If Kevin did what Jayy did I would've been all love struck too."  
  
"I wasn't love struck," I half-heartedly protest, a pout forming on my lips when Emily snickers.  
  
"Sure honey," Emily replies before ruffling my hair, causing me to abt away the offending targets. "Whatever you say."  
  
Pink lips part, ready to protest but Jayy's voice cuts me off.  
  
"Nice cheetah capris, Dahvs," Jayy sincerely says as he walks by with Kevin at his side, a sweet smile etched upon his lips (and dman if that didn't melt me into a puddle of goo). "They look amazing on you."  
  
Olive cheeks blush harder as a smile crawls over my lips at those considerate words.  
  
"T-Thanks," I stutter out, blushing harder at the brighter (and sweeter) smile aimed my way.  
  
"Anything for you, boo," Jayy responds, popping a kiss on top of my head before heading towards his first period while leaving Kevin with his girlfriend.  
  
Another sigh, this one all love filled, escapes its prison as my eyes follow his graceful form.  
  
' _God I love that man,'_ I silently say, cheeks flushing harder as I realized how very girly I was acting.  
  
Luckily, Kevin and Emily didn't notice my reaction or me leaving to go to my first period...  
  
Then again, they were too busy gazing into each others eyes with love written all over their faces to notice anything but them.  
  
Honestly, it was adorable.  
  
And I wanted that.  
  
'Maybe we can start to reconsider our answer about dating Jayy?' I silently muse the idea before deciding to see where Jayy was going with all this.  
  
 _'Just give it time,'_ My conscious murmurs, _'And he'll come to you.'_  
  
And I agreed wholeheartedly with that...  
  
It was just the matter of the fear I felt creeping up on me that the longer I wait, the more less likely Jayy will want me.  
  
 **~Wednesday; Dunedin High; Gym~**  
  


 ***Dahvie's POV**  
  
Olive hands reach up and catch the blue dodgeball mid-air, pulling it back down as an ear-splitting grin crawls over my face.  
  
The grin only got brighter and more love struck when Jayy dashed past me.  
  
"Great catch boo!" Jayy cheers as he slips past me, shooting me a dazzling smile that caused my heart to skip a beat. "Perfect like always."  
  
And I stood there, smiling like a lovesick fool as I watched Jayy.  
  
Luckily I was snapped back to reality...  
  
By a dodgeball slamming into my face.  
  
Oh well, it was totally worth it when I had Jayy rushing over to me all concerned and caring.  
  
Yeah, that was a pretty fantastic day.  
  
 **~Thursday; Dunedin High; Spanish Class~**  
  
 ***Dahvie's POV**  
  
 A groan escapes my mouth as I furiously rub my hands over my face, my heart slamming repeatedly against my chest as I waited for the teacher to get in the classroom and start the test....  
  
You know, the test causing me to become a fucking nervous wreck.  
  
Purple eyes raise up from the desk, landing on the bunched up roll of notebook paper sitting right in front of me.  
  
Slowly, I remove my gaze from the paper and move them towards Jayy, who was sending me a soft and loving smile while motiong for me to read it.  
  
And so-with redden cheeks-olive hands reach out and unfold the ball, purple eyes scanning the lines while my cheeks flush harder and a smile lights up my face like a star.  
  
 **"Stop worrying babe,"** It said, **"You're smart. You've got this. Don't worry that beautiful head of your's. And I believe in you."**  
  
My short form instantly relaxes at those sweet words and compliments, my heart finally calming down.  
  
Purple eyes clash with red before I mouth four words with a dazzling smile and blushing cheeks.  
  
 **"Thank you Jayy Bear."**  
  
The beaming smile I got was totally worth the sweat I worked up.  
  
 **~Friday; Park~**  
  
 ***Dahvie's POV**  
  
Brown eyes stare at jayy's tall form while watching as he pulled back and swung the wooden bat, a loud crack following it as it hit the white ball.  
  
"Woohoo! Go Jayy!" Me and Emily cheered, both of us clapping and grinning.  
  
"Thank you, thank you," Jayy bowed, sending both of us smirks as Kevin pouted and grumbled about having to do all the work while he went in search of the ball.  
  
"Don't get too cocky, Monroe," Emily teased as she sat up from the picnic blanket we took and started walking off in the general direction of her boyfriend, no doubt wanting to help her playfully sulking boy.  
  
"You did amazing, no matter what Em says," I intervene, grinning up at Jayy's sweaty form as he made his way over towards me.  
  
"I know I did," Jayy smugly grins, chuckling as I gently smacked the back of his head. "I deserved that."  
  
"Good to know," I cheekily reply, giggling as he poked my sides (which were ticklish, by the way).  
  
"Don't be cheeky babe," Jayy grins as he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close, me snuggling in his side.   
  
We're both quiet for a moment, basking in the warmth and happiness spreading through both of our bodies.  
  
"Have you ever played baseball before?" Jayy suddenly asks, his brown eyes clashing with mine.  
  
"Yeah," I snod my head as I answer, my nose scrunching up as I remembered me **"playing"** baseball. "Didn't go so well."  
  
"Wanna try again?" Jayy inquires, standing up and holding out his hand.  
  


"Uh no way," I instantly respond, shaking my head before letting out a squeak as I'm pulled up and dragged towards the spot where Jayy was minutes ago.  
  
"Alright, here's how you do it," Jayy murmured as he shoved the bat in my hands and situated me correctly, Kevin and Emily finally returning as Jayy properly showed me how to swing (and bluntly ignored all my protests).  
  
"Ready Freddy?" Kevin calls, a grin on his face as he stood as his spot with his eyes trained on me.

"No," I squeak out, cheeks heavily painted red as I continued to try and ignore Jayy's body that was pressed behind me.

  
"Yes he is!" Jayy calls before grasping my chin and pulling my face up until our eyes connected. "You can do this, babe, I believe in you."  
  
Olive cheeks blush harder but I relent finally, nodding my head and inhaling a deep breath before focusing on Kevin (and not the way my body suddenly seemed colder without Jayy's arms wrapped around me).  
  
"You can do it Dahvs!" Emily cheers, Jayy's voice following hers.  
  
And so I inhale once more before giving Kevin the nod...  
  
Brown eyes watch as the baseball, in slow motion it seemed, shot out of Kevin's hands and moved towards me.  
  
 **Thump-Thump**  
  
I inhale once more, palms breaking out in a sweat.  
  
 **Thump-Thump**  
  
Brown eyes squeeze close for one moment before re-opening as Jayy's words echoed in my ears.  
  
 **Thump-Thump**  
  
 _"I believe in you."_  
  
 **Thump-Thump-Thump**  
  
And so, letting his voice wash over me-soothing all my worries and fears-I swing the wooden bat...  
  
 **Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump**  
  
It hits the ball dead on.  
  
Brow eyes widen as the white ball flies through the air and lands somewhere behind Kevin.  
  
"You did it!" The words barely pierce through my shock until strong arms wrap around my waist and lift me up.  
  
"See? I knew you could do it," Jayy murmured as he gazed into my eyes with a wide smile. "After all, you're too perfect not to be able to to anything."  
  
And I blushed like usual, and my heart pounded like usual, and of course I grinned and hugged right back.  
  
The only thing that usually didn't happen was the feeling of love washing over me as I realized one thing that, before, meant my world was falling apart:  
  
 _'I love Jayy.'_  
  
And you know what?  
  
That didn't tear my world apart, no.  
  
It built it back up into absolute perfection.

 

  
  


 

 


	17. Step Three, Gifts are welcomed (Both Made and Bought)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: don't own BOTDF, nor am I'm implying Jahvie is real. Comments, kudos, and bookmarks are appreciated! Thanks loves <3 Also (1) I do not own this poem; all credits go to rightful owner.

***Jayy's POV**

"So how'd it go?" Mom inquires as she walks into my room while one hand reaches out for my desk chair and pulled it out, plopping down on it as she watched me lazily throw the baseball in the air.

"Good," The answer slips past my lips without me even thinking about it, a dopey (lovestruck) smile stitched on my lips while my whole body floated on cloud nine (Or at least that's what I thought it was doing) as memories of Dahvie's bright (breath-taking) smile and happy (dazzling) eyes and red (luscious) blush flashed across my vision like a movie.  
  
"Good?" Mom raises an eyebrow as she rakes her eyes over my form, a small smirk curling at the corners of her lips. "You look like you won the lottery, met your favorite band, and married the love of your life. I think, honey, that's more than good."  
  
"Fine then," I huff out, though there was no real heat behind my words. "It was amazing. Awesome. Terrific. Outstanding. Excellent. Marvelous. Super. Fabulous. I could go on, Mom, do you really want that? Because I could go on forever."  
  
And I was serious when I said that because those words above?  
  
Yeah, didn't even describe just out fantastic step one and two (especially step two) went.  
  
"Okay, okay," Mom instantly surrenders, fondness articulated through her tone. "So what's the next step?"

  
"Er, next step?" I squeak out, my hands fumbling the white ball before it falls flat on my chest and into my lap as I sat up on my elbows.   
  
"Yes, Jayy, _next step_ ," Mom slowly speaks, articulating each word as if I were a four year old instead of a sixteen year old. 

"You know, the third step in the process of wooing?"  
  
"Oh, right, that, hehe," A strained smile crawls over my pierced lips as I look at my mom with an expression that just screamed "I have no idea what I'm even going to do. Help me please!"  
  
"Oh dear lord," Mom rolls her head before shaking her head, exasperation and fondness shining from her eyes. "Whatever am I going to do with you, Jayy?"  
  
"Help out your lovable son that is trying to woo a boy he loves?" I answer, hope written all over my face and tone.  
  
"Maybe I should just leave you to it," Mom points out, pretending to stand up and walk towards the door. "After all, there's no other better teacher than yourself, no?"  
  
"No!" I cried out, a pout breaking out across my face as I turned my wide pleading brown eyes onto my mother. "Please mom! I really need your help. Please?"

  
Mom stops, her gaze peering into my face-she was trying so hard to stay strong-before surrendering to the full force of my puppy dog look.  
  
"Fine," Mom huffs out, her playfulness shining through her fake anger.  
  
"Yes!" I murmur, sitting up straight and facing my mother. "Now, what do I do?"  
  
"You really have no idea what you want to do?" Mom asks, sitting back on the desk chair while connection our gazes. "Not even a suggestion."  
  
"Not really," I mumble, shrugging my shoulders as I flickered my gaze from her knowing stare.  
  
I'm not really romantic.  
  
Well, actually, that's a lie; you see, before Christopher died, I was a hopeless romantic.  
  
I loved spoiling Chris with all these little surprise presents and kisses and I loved doing romantic things with him.  
  
But, after he died, that romantic side of me shriveled up and faded away like blackened ashes.  
  
That part of me died.  
  
And so here I am, wondering what the hell to do when deep down I know that romantic side of me never actually died; in all honesty, I just closed it off, never realizing that one day I would love again.  
  
Yes, I'm an idiot; yes, I'm stupid and I should get my head out of my ass and stop denying that part of me.  
  
But it's like they say: Old habits are hard to break.  
  
Snapping out of my morbid thoughts, I turn my attention to my mom who was looking at me with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Did you hear a word I said?" Mom queries, her eyes telling me she already knew the answer but wanted to hear it from my own mother.  
  
"Of course," I easily lie, sending her a charming smile while silently praying she would believe me.  
  
God, apparently, was not on my side.  
  
"Really?" Mom says, her eyebrow raising her eyebrow even higher. "If you heard me, then what did I say?"  
  
"Um, er, I love you?" I stumble over my words, giving her a sheepish smile at her scoff.  
  
"Yeah, that's exactly what I said sweetie," Mom responds, rolling her eyes before smiling softly. "What I said was gifts, Jayy. Gifts. As in both bought gifts from the store- **bought with your own money, Jayy** \- and gifts made from the heart."  
  
"Oh," I murmur, my brown eyes traveling up to the ceiling as my mind whirled with possible ideas.  
  
"I'll leave you to it," Mom responds after a silence descends in the air around us.  
  
"Okay," I murmur as my mind continues to pop up with possible gifts that Dahvie liked.  
  
And it was that day that I spent in another headache inducing night as my brain sizzled with ideas that both were meaningful and things that Dahvie liked.  
  
Damn, I really hope this wooing will work, otherwise I'll have to give up because damn it I was not made for thinking!  
  
God, the things I do for love.  
  
 **/Dunedin High; Monday\**  
  
 ***Dahvie's POV**

 **Pitter-Patter**  
  
 **Pitter-Patter**  
  
 _'Damn it!'_ I silently curse as I rush towards DuneDin High's front doors, my bag pulled over my head to protect my hair from the falling rain. _'I should've worn a damn jacket!'_  
  
Yet, even though I held a bag over my head, I was still getting beaten by the falling rain and harsh wind as if I were a naughty boy in need of a punishment.  
  
 **Pitter-Patter**  
  
 **Pitter-Patter**  
  
Add to that fact that I was so fucking cold.  
  
Like Alaska cold.  
  
Like all my bones were now ice cicles and my blood cells had all but frozen in their tracks.  
  
And no, I am not fucking exaggerating.  
  
 **Pitter-Patter**  
  
 **Pitter-Pat-**  
  
"Finally!" I all but screamed as I yanked open the door and entered the nice, warm building.  
  
And yeah, I got some really weird looks (and I think one of the jocks mumbled that all fags were weird and mentally insane) but I ignored them, too busy welcoming the warmth that was gradually returning to my body.

Forcing my frozen legs to move, I slowly walk towards my locker and ignore the taunts (you know, where they're asking me if I love taking it up the ass that I'd whore out for anyone with a dick) thrown at my back.  
  
Luckily when I arrived at my locker and forced my frozen hand to put in my combination, I was graced with not only but two of my best friends presence.  
  
"Hey Dahvs!" Emily and Oliver's voice chime together as they greet me, Oliver wrapping me an a one armed hug before pulling away.  
  
"Hey guys," I grin (though it was strained) back, pulling out my supplies and closing the metal door before turning back to them.  
  
"Holy shit, Dahvie! What the fuck happened to you?" Emily snarls, her blue eyes glittering with worry as she took in my blue lips.  
  
"The storm," I instantly place the blame on Mother Nature (hey! If Mother Nature has no qualms on giving me hypothermia then I have no problem with blaming it on her).  
  
"Are you okay?" Oliver instantly inquires, wrapping me in a hug to try and get me warm while Emily joins us.  
  
"I'm fine you guys," I easily lie as I push away from the warmth, forcing another strained smile. "I'll warm out throughout the day. Don't worry about me."  
  
And with those words, I turned on my heel and walked to my first period while never noticing the concerned look Oliver and Emily shared.  
  
 **/Second Period\**  
  
 ***Dahvie's POV**  
  
 _'I-I'm f-f-fr-freezing!'_ I silently shrieked inside my head as my legs jerkily moved towards my locker, my hands trembling from the lack of warmth.  
  
 _'F-Fuck y-y-you M-M-Mot-Mother N-Nature!'_ I continued to rant, ignoring the chattering my teeth were doing as I finally reached my locker.   
  
Slowly I move my arm and grip the knob in my hand, trying my hardest to put in the combination while my hand shook like an earthquake.  
  
It took a couple of tries (and a whole shit load of mentally cursing in my mind) before it finally opened, and boy, was I glad when it opened.  
  
Because lying inside my locker was a large hoodie.  
  
 **A hoodie that would give me warmth.**  
  
Blue eyes light up at that prospect and quickly shove the hoodie (a Bring Me The Horizon hoodie) on, moaning as warmth washed over my ice cub body.  
  
 _'Yes!'_ I hiss in pleasure, blue eyes fluttering shut as my body slowly lost it's coldness. _'Warmth!'_  
  
A couple minutes passed before I reopened my eyes and inhaled...  
  
Only to be assaulted with the aroma of cigarette smoke and something natural.  
  
 _'Oh...my...god,'_ I silently said while my blue eyes popped out of their sockets and rolled on the floor as the realization of who the owner of said hoodie was. _'This is-it's Jayys!'_  
  
Blue eyes blink like an owl as I tried in vain to think sanely, but the scent of Jayy continued attacking my nose and before long, I had my face buried in the long sleeve that slipped past my arm.  
  
And so I sniffed, and sniffed, and sniffed like a dog.  
  
And I may or may not have gotten aroused with the fact that I was wearing Jayy's clothes.  
  
And **god** didn't he smell good!  
  
Inhaling one last time, I pulled my nose out of the arm and grabbed my supplies with a much more steady hand before continuing on with my day.  
  
Needless to say, I never did give that hoodie back to Jayy (and never have I ever been as thankful for waking up late and not checking the weather than that day).  
  
Why?  
  
Well I can lie and say because I kept forgetting.  
  
But, in all honesty, it's because I loved the way it smelled and I just couldn't bear to part with it.  
  
That hoodie soon became my favorite one.  
  
 **/Dunedin High; Tuesday\**

***Dahvie's POV**

"It sucks!" Emily whined as we walked towards my locker, her beautiful pale face contorted in a pout and scowl. "I really wanted that BVB CD but **no,** some other asshole decides to buy it before I could!"  
  
"I'm sure there'll be more next time," I comfort my best female friend, slapping Oliver on the back of his head for making his faces (I may have not been facing him, but I could see him out of the corner of my eye).   
  
"I know but I really wanted it now!" Emily sighed, giving me a sad smile that just broke my heart. "Oh well, there's always next time, right?"  
  
"Right," I stop and give her a quick hug before pulling away and turning towards my locker, putting in the combination...  
  
Only to be greeted with two neatly wrapped gifts.  
  
Purple eyes widen in shock and bewilderment while Oliver and Emily peek over my head.  
  
"What's that?" Oliver finally asked, his eyes flickering from me to Emily before settling on me.  
  
"Geez! I don't know Oli, it might be what we know as a present," Emily sarcastically replies, smirking at his pout.  
  
"So mean," Oliver sulks, brightening only a little bit at my sympathetic pat on his arm.  
  
Finally, after gazing at the gifts sitting in my locker, olive hands reaches out and grasps the two bundles before pulling them out.  
  
One is addressed to me, the other is to...  
  
"Em, this is your's," I murmur as my eyes read my best friend's name, my hand reaching to my left and holding out the gift to her.  
  
Blue eyes widen in surprise, clearly not expecting this to be hers, before she grasps in and pulls it closer for inspection.  
  
We're silent for a few minutes, Oliver's questions going in one ear and out the other.  
  
"Together?" Emily finally questions, meeting my gaze.  
  
"Together," I respond with absolute conviction.  
  
"One," Emily starts as her hands settle on the knot.  
  
"Two," I respond, my hand following suit.  
  
"Three!" We both shouted as we untied the knots and let the wrapper fall away like leaves.  
  
And in our hands was two BVB CD's.  
  
"Yes!" Emily suddenly squeals, jumping up and down as she waves the album she had wanted around. "This is it!"

A bright grin crawls over my lips as a blush arises to my cheeks when my purple eyes remove themselves from the gift to search for Jayy's eyes.  
  
Green clashes with purple and I slowly raise the CD and beam in his direction, my heart pounding against my chest like a drum.  
  
And the brilliant  (and relieved) smile I received in return was totally worth my girly reaction.  
  
 **Damn I really love that man.**  
  
 **/Dunedin High; Wednesday\**  
  
"There's a present for you," Emily sings, a knowing grin on her face as we approached my locker (and I will deny to her that my heart was thundering in anticipation). "There's a present for you dear Dahvie."  
  
I shake my head, rolling my golden eyes at my best friend's song before turning my focus on my thoughts.  
  
 _'I wonder what it's going to be today?'_ I silently inquired, searching my memory for something that I might like that hasn't already been given to me. _'A shirt? CD? Poster? Pants?'_  
  
Groaning loudly at my thoughts, I make a mad dash towards my locker and quickly put in the combination because damn it I can't wait any longer!  
  
My heart stops beating as my eyes land inside my locker.  
  
"So what is it this ti-" Emily voice fades away as her blue eyes land on my locker.  
  
Which was **empty**.  
  
Of anything.  
  
Well, it had my books but no gift.  
  
No present wrapped in sparkling wrapper.  
  
 **Nothing.**  
  
"Oh," Emily murmurs, her voice soft and filled with sympathy. "Maybe Jayy forgot?"  
  
But I didn't hear her, to busy drowning in the sudden hurt overtaking me to properly acknowledge her.  
  
It was only until I felt arms circle around my waist did I snap out of my sadness.  
  
Golden eyes slowly blink back into the present, only to land on a bracelet dangling right in front of me.  
  
Gently, with trembling olive hands, I reach out and take the jewelry and analyze it.  
  
My heart once more stopped as I read the engraving on the silver bracelet (I'm pretty sure if your heart stops twice that you need medical care, like right away).  
  
 **"Best Friends Forever <3"**  
  
"J-Jayy," I choke out as I slowly turn around and lift my head up, golden clashing with soft brown eyes. "This is-it's so-I can't..."  
  
I couldn't even properly speak because I was that speechless.

"I know," Jayy murmurs while giving me a genuine smile. "I know."

  
And thank god he knew because damn, even though I was acting like a total girl (not that there's anything wrong with that!), I couldn't stop the tears of happiness from bubbling up in my eyes.  
  
"Here," Jayy murmurs before gently grabbing my wrist and taking the bracelet (and I did not whimper when said jewelry was taken from my wrist). "Let me."  
  
And with nimble fingers, Jayy snapped the beautiful accessory on my wrist; I did not cry.  
  
 **I didn't!**  
  
Merely there happened to be a cloud hanging over my head and it decided that right then and there would be a good to rain.  
  
It was rain droplets, **not** tears.  
  
Really!  
  
"T-Thanks," I whisper as I wind my arms around his waist and stuff my face in his chest, my whole body trembling with happiness and affection and love.  
  
"No problem boo," Jayy murmurs against my head as he drops a kiss on it.  
  
Needless to say, that was another best day of my life.  
  
And, just to let you know, I never take that bracelet off.  
  
 **Ever.**  
  
 **/Dunedin High; Thursday\**  
  
"Please tell me why you and Jayy aren't dating yet?" Oliver asked as he walked beside me, "You two are like perfect together! Add to that he's giving you all these sweet gifts and I gotta say, if that were me I'd have jumped Jayy by now."  
  
Brown eyes roll as I gently nudge my best friend in the side, grinning at the pained groan I received (okay, so maybe it wasn't as gentle as I said but hey, Jayy's mine like I'm Jayy's).  
  
"Find your own bad boy," I respond while shooting him a sideways grin as I stopped in front of my locker, my heart once more picking up it's pace as my palms suddenly grew sweaty.  
  
"Will you open it already!" Oliver whined, his eyes wide and beseeching as he continued. "I'm practically dying of anticipation!"  
  
"Patience is a virtue," I chide, smirking at his whine before turning my eyes back onto my locker.  
  
Inhaling once, I reach out one Olive hand and put in my combination, the locker door swinging open like in those scary movies.  
  
Inside the cubed locker was... **nothing.**  
  
Furrowing my brows, I lean in until my eyes settle upon a light yellow envelope.  
  
"Oo, what's in it?! What's in it?!" Oliver question, his form trembling with excitement as I pulled the article out. "Come on Dahvie! Open it! Open it!"  
  
"Okay, okay!" I surrender, softly smiling at Oliver's excitement that reminded me of a puppy.  
  
Pink lips part and inhale deeply before my fingers open the envelop and pull out a paper.  
  
Brown eyes quickly scan over the black inked words, my heart stopping and starting while a blush arose to my cheeks and a wide smile crawled over my lips.  
  
 **"I got your back, you got mine**

**I'll help you out anytime**

**To see you hurt, to see you cry**

**Makes me wanna weep and die**

**I promise it won't matter who's wrong or right**

**If your broken heart need a mend**

**I'll be there, right to the end." (1)**  
  
"Dahvie," Oliver suddenly speaks, his voice unusually somber and serious.  
  
Brown eyes remove themselves from the page and connect with a darker shade of brown.  
  
"Y-Yeah?" I stutter out, my heart constricting as I the words echoed inside my head, creating yet another blush and dopey lovestruck smile.  
  
"If Jayy asks you out and you don't say yes, I will personally hunt you down and slap you," Oliver states, brown eyes dead serious. "Because if that's not love, then I don't fucking know what is."  
  
And all I can do is nod because this?  
  
This was **more** than just a **poem.**  
  
This was **Jayy's feelings** , his feelings for me **now** and **forever.**  
  
This was **Jayy.**  
  
 _'Damn,'_ I thought as my smile grew wider when I noticed Jayy cautiously approaching us (Oliver and Jayy called a truce and are now friends). _'I really do love that man.'_  
  
And you know what?  
  
If Jayy asks me out again, this time I'll know my answer.  
  
It's an answer I know I won't regret.

 


	18. Step Four, Stop being a Cowardly Lion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments.  
> "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me don't own BOTDF, nor am I implying Jahvie is real. 'Thoughts in italic' Comment, bookmark, and kudos are all appreciated! So, this is the second last chapter; I'm kind of sad to see this story go, but I'm happy because I can finally give "Dirty Little Secret" [on Wattpad under YaoiFangirl6] all my attention. So enjoy!

*** Jayy's POV**

_'What do I wear?! What do I wear, what do I wear, whatdoIwear?!'_ I silently inquired, a scream bubbling beneath my vocal chords as I tore through my closet and threw every piece of clothing on my bed.

 _'Damn it!'_ I silently cursed as I once more viewed myself in my mirror, my brown eyes raking over my tall form hidden by black skinny jeans and a white tank top. _'Why the fuck hasn't anyone written a book on what to wear when asking the love of your life out? I mean for gods fucking sake! It's a **problem!'**_  
  
Growling savagely, I throw the outfit on the floor and continue hunting through my closet for the perfect outfit.  
  
 _'It has to be **perfect!'**_ I silently hissed, my brown eyes flashing as I gripped another outfit in a deathly grip. _'It **has** to be!'_  
  
 **Knock-Knock**  
  
"Jayy? Sweetie come on, it's time to get going," My mom called as she opened the door, "You're going to be-what the hell happened in here?!"  
  
Brown eyes snap up from the mirror I stood in front of (and I've stood in front of this thing for thirty fucking minutes!), my gaze turning towards my room that looked as if a tornado had hit it.  
  
"Um...a tornado formed in my room?" I inquire while giving her a sheepish grin as I threw the tenth (or was it twentieth?)  outfit on the floor, wincing at my mom's raised eyebrow.  
  
"I see," Mom slowly responds, a small grin tugging at the corner of her cupid bow shaped lips. "Was that tornado in the form of one Jayy Von Monroe?"  
  
"Er, maybe?" I reply, flashing a smile in her directions before returning my stare towards the long crystal mirror.  
  
"What are you so nervous about, honey?" Mom queries as she walks in and picks up the scattered articles of clothing.   
  
"Well, you see, I'm um..." I trail off, my cheeks flaming red before I quickly rushed out the answer. "I'msortakindofaskingDahvieouttoday."  
  
"Come again?" Mom questions, straightening her form as she shot a puzzled frown in my direction.  
  
"I'm-I'm um...I'm asking Dahvie out...today..." I slowly repeat my answer, faltering and stumbling over my words.  
  
"Aw! I'm so happy for you Jayy!" Mom squeals, rushing towards me and wrapping her arms around my waist as she gave me a giant bear hug.  
  
A groan escapes pierced lips because damn, even though my mom's tiny she sure has a pair of arms!  
  
"Can't...breathe..." I choke out, deeply inhaling when mom instantly retracts her arms with a sheepish expression colored on her beautiful face.  
  
"Sorry honey, I'm just so happy and proud," Mom explains, crystal clear tears gathering in her eyes.  
  
"Don't cry mom," I instantly respond as I gently give her a hug, making sure to handle her as if she were a china doll (even though i knew she wasn't). "And thanks."  
  
"Mhm," Mom sniffles, quickly giving me a hug before pulling away and subtly wiping away her tears.   
  
Pink lips curl into a soft smile that I shoot in her direction.  
  
"Ahem, anyway," Mom starts, her voice wavering and cracking before she clears it and starts again. "Good luck and remember: be yourself, Jayy. This Dahvie boy sounds like he likes you the most when you are you. So be you and-and that's it."  
  
Mom turns around, her shoulders gently shaking as she walked towards my bedroom door and paused.  
  
"Pick the red shirt, black vest, and black skinny jeans," Was my mom's parting words before she walked out, gently closing my door.  
  
A grin crawls over my lips as I quickly pick out the items my mom suggested, pulling them over my tall form and styling my hair so it was defying gravity and very fluffy.  
  
Once finished dressing, I take one look in the  mirror (and damn if my mom didn't have taste!) and sharply inhale while gazing at into my reflections eyes.  
  
 _'You can do this, Jayy,'_ I forcefully tell myself, mustering all the courage I contained (and that's not a lot, not when it comes to love anyway). _'You can do this. Just be yourself and go for it. It's now or never. Make or break. You can do it.'_  
  
And with those semi-confident words, I turned on my heels and walked out the door.  
  
Yet, even though those words were comforting and encouraging, it still didn't ease the fear and dread I felt wrapping around my body like a noose.  
  
 **~Dunedin High; Friday Morning~**  
  
 ***Jayy's POV**  
  
' _You can do it Jayy,'_ I repeated my previous words as I slowly approached Dahvie, who was alone for once this time, as if it were a mass murder and not someone I loved. _'You can do it.'_  
  
Pink lips part and deeply inhale the oxygen circulating the air as I forced my legs (which were trembling like an earthquake by the way) to continue moving.  
  
 _' **Don't** lock up,'_ I silently command as I continue to deeply inhale, hoping it would ease the fast pace my heart was beating at. _' **Don't** you dare freeze, legs. **Don't do it!'**_  
  
Fortunately, my legs listened to their master and made it to Dahvie without incident.  
  
It was only when I was standing in Dahvie that two things happened:  
  
One, I now wished my legs had frozen up just so I wouldn't have to ask Dahvie out (I love Dahvie, don't get me wrong! But...it's well...it's me. You know, I think I have a long lost twin; his name is the Cowardly Lion. Yeah. We have a lot in common).  
  
Two, all the elegant words I had memorized for this very moment evaded me like the shadows on the wall.  
  
"Hey Jayy bear!" Dahvie greeted as he finally tore his (beautiful) brown eyes away from his locker and connected with mine. "What's up?"  
  
"H-Hey b-boo," I stutter out, my pale cheeks flaming as I forced my heart to stop beating so fucking fast.   
  
"Is everything okay, Jayy?" Dahvie instantly inquires, his voice articulating my heart.  
  
' _Damn it Dahve don't do that!'_ I silently chided my best friend when my heart skipped a beat at my love's worry. ' _I'm to young to die from a cardiac arrest!'_  
  
"I-I'm f-fine, b-babe," I once more stutter out, a frown colored on face as I tried to untie the knot my tongue was in.  
  
 _'Damn it!'_ I silently screamed, mentally ripping off all my hair (and let me tell you right now, I value my hair and I would not look good bald). _'Way to be real smooth, Jayy! Now you look like a stuttering fool!'_  
  
"Jayy?" Dahvie's sweet voice breaks me back to the present, his hand waving in front of my face the first thing I focused on.  
  
"Hm?" I flippantly respond, my eyes removing themselves from the olive hand to brown eyes.  
  
"Are you okay? You just spaced out and got this really irked expression on your face," Dahvie pointed out, peering up at me.  
  
"I'm fine, it's just I..." I trail off, a large lump suddenly forming in my throat. "I...um-it's just I-um you know-I wanted to..."  
  
Gulping, I force the lump to go down and open my mouth, ready to coherently finish that sentence.

"Dahvie, w-will y-you-" I start off, my heart thundering and my courage wavering.

  
"Will I what?" Dahvie blinks like an owl, a frown marring his beautiful face.  
  
"W-will you-" I once more pick up my sentence...  
  
Only to be interrupted by the bell going off.  
  
 **Ring! Ring!**  
  
A pair of brown eyes snap towards the bell ringing.  
  
 _'Fuck!'_ I silently groaned as all the students instantly rushed towards their first period. ' _Damn it! I was so close!'_  
  
Shaking my head, I turn towards to Dahvie who's mouthing, "Tell me later."  
  
I just nod my head, my shoulders slumping in defeat as I watched Dahvie walk away.  
  
 _'There's always next time,_ ' I silently said, a sigh escaping my lips before I also turned and headed towards my first period.  
  
 **~Dunedin High; Friday; Study Hall~**  
  
 _'Okay Jayy, second chance,'_ I silently told myself as I slowly moved towards Dahvie, who was sitting at a wooden table with a book in front of him. _' **Don't** screw this up; **don't** let a bell ruin the moment. And for gods fucking sake **do not** act like that stuttering fool you were in the morning!'_  
  
A wince crosses my pale face as I replay the morning over in my head like a movie.  
  
 _'That was more than embarrassing,'_ Was my last thought before I turned my attention to Dahvie, who was now looking up at me with a dazzling smile light up his face.  
  
"Hey boo-bear," Dahvie greeted, shutting the book closed and gazing up at me with curiosity glittering in his eyes. "Is there something you need?"  
  
"Y-Yeah," I answer, silently upbraiding myself for stuttering once more. "Um...it's-it's about this m-morning..."  
  
"Oh! Right," Dahvie softly chuckles, a light pink blush coloring his cheeks as he nervously scratched the back of his head. "I forgot about that. Is something the matter?"  
  
"No, it's just-you see I-I mean to say-what I'm trying to say is-" Damn it! I was stumbling and acting like a fool a-fucking-gain.  
  
"Dahvie!" A voice calls, both of our eyes snapping to the person who was none other than Emily.  
  
"Dahvie, I need you, right now!" Emily hissed as she stormed towards us, grabbing Dahvie by his arm and dragging him away without even sparing a look in my direction.  
  
"H-Hey! Em! Stop it! Slow down!" Dahvie growled as he was forcefully (and against his will) taken out of the library.  
  
"Tell me later Jayy!" Dahvie calls before the sound of a door slamming shut cuts of the rest of the noise.  
  
Another groan escapes my lips as I plop down into the recent evacuated chair, my face finding a place in my hands.  
  
 _'Come on!'_ I silently snapped as I glared into my palms. _'This is the second time I couldn't ask Dahvie out! Is this fate or something?! Payback for all the wrongs in my life?! Fucking seriously!'_  
  
A dark growl escapes my pierced lips before I rudely shove the chair outwards and storm out the library, my hands clenched at my sides as I wondered when I would be able to get the chance to ask Dahvie out.  
  
 _'I just hope that when that time comes,'_ I thought as I walked into my homeroom, _'That I don't turn into the fool I've shown I can be.'_  
  
 **~Dunedin High; Friday; School is over~**  
  
' _Third times the charm, right?'_ I hesitatingly ask I approach Dahvie, my backpack slung over my shoulders and my heart pounding against my chest like a hammer.  
  
Pink lips part as I stop not even a feet away from Dahvie, inhaling deeply before I spoke.  
  
"Dahvie."  
  
Brown eyes clash with brown as Dahvie turns around, a grin curling over his mouth.  
  
"Hey," Dahvie murmured, olive cheeks flushing at how breathy it sounded.  
  
It was like music to my ears.  
  
"Hey yourself," I respond, mentally congratulating myself for not stuttering...yet.  
  
"So, I think I owe you a conversation that just didn't want to be talked about," Dahvie teased, his eyes glistening with mischievousness,  
  
"R-Right," I respond, wincing as I heard the tell tale of my (today) famous stutter. "That c-conversation..."  
  
Dahvie stays quiet, his eyes peering into mine as if he could see my soul.  
  
"Y-You see, um, I-I want, d-do y-you, um, y-you know, um...." Brown eyes disappear as I trail off, cheeks stained red as I cursed myself for stuttering again.  
  
"I-I-I y-yo-you, I-I m-mean I-I..." A mixed sound between a groan and a growl escapes my lips as I snap my eyes open and start pacing around Dahvie, my fingers coming up and running through my hair.  
  
"I-I-I w-w-w-w-wan-want t-to," Come on Jayy! You're almost there!  
  
"T-T-T-To...to...gah!" I throw my hands up, finally surrendering.   
  
 _'I can't do it,'_ I silently whine as I clench my eyes shut, my lips pursing and hands forming into fists. _'I just fucking can't.'_  
  
Everything is silent for a moment as I attempt to calm down.  
  
It was only when I felt a soft pressure against my lips did my eyes snap open and pop out of their sockets.  
  
Because Dahvie?  
  
Yeah, he was **currently kissing me.**  
  
Not in a god-I'm-horny-for-you kiss but as in I-know-what-you're-trying-to-say-and-I-accept kiss.  
  
"Dahvie?" I whisper as he pulls away, my eyes raking over his blushing cheeks.  
  
"I know what you're trying to say, jayy," Dahvie murmurs, a shy smile curling over his slightly red lips. "And my answer will always be the same."  
  
"Oh," My heart stops beating, my face falling as I remembered Dahvie's previous answer.  
  
' _I should've known,'_ I bitterly thought as my gaze dropped to the floor. _' **Dahvie's** too **good** for me, too **pure.** **I'm evil** and **twisted.'**_  
  
"Jayy," My brown eyes raise up from the floor only to meet an exasperated expression. "My answer's yes, Jayy. And it **always** will be."  
  
Brown eyes widen into saucer plates before I step forward, hope swelling within my chest.  
  
"You mean it?" I inquire, wanting-needing-to making sure Dahvie was telling the truth.  
  
"Well yeah, after all," Dahvie grins as he stands up on his tippy toes until our lips were centimeters apart. "You're supposed to say yes when someone you love asks you out."  
  
A bright eye-blinding smile scrawls over my lips as I crush our lips together, basking in the love emanating from Dahvie.  
  
 _'Would you look at that?'_ I silently question as we pulled away, Dahvie's face buried in the crook of my neck and my arms wrapped tightly around his waist. _'Guess even the evilest of sinners gets a happy ending.'_  
  
Looks like I finally got my happily ever after.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 


	19. I'll Love Him (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I hate you!" I finally snap, my nerves completely fried from the constant abuse of sexual, lewd comments. "That's perfect," Jayy purrs as he pushes his dark covered body against my smaller one, my bottom lip becoming ensnared by my upper teeth as a cold feeling erupts like a volcano over my back due to the lockers digging into it. "Because the only feeling you'll need is the pleasure you'll feel as I pound you into the mattress."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own BOTDF, nor am implying Jahvie is real. So, this is it, the last chapter. I would like to thank each and everyone one of you for reading/commenting/kudoing/bookmarking; you will never know just how much I appreciated this. So enjoy and this is dedicated to two lovely people: Alexanderlover31 (thank you for both kudoing this story, commenting, and bookmarking) and Myrikii (thank you for kudoing). Thanks :D  
> 'Thoughts in italic in reality'  
> 'Thoughts in italic and bold in flashback'  
> "Words in italic when in flashbac"  
> (1) I have no clue what Dahvie's mom's name is so I'm sorry if it's wrong :( Correct me please!  
> (2) I'm not sure what Jayy's last name is so I put it on that. Please correct me if I'm wrong  
> (3) Again, I have no clue what Jayy's mom's name is so please correct me if I'm wrong!

***Dahvie's POV**

**"Jungle bells, jungle bells, jungle all the way-"**  
  
The radio played the christmas songs, the sounds echoing throughout the relatively silent house covered from head to toe in red and green; stockings in red were hanging above the chimney, the giant green tree was littered with a multitude of christmas ornaments while a bright gold star stood at the very top, and presents covered in various wrapping colors sat beneath the tree.  
  
"Hey babe," A deep, husky voice purrs in my ear as strong arms wrap around my torso covered in a red V-neck sweater and pull my back flush against a body.  
  
"Hey," I whisper, sinking into the embrace while my arms shot up and wrapped around the neck behind me.  
  
"Everything okay?" Jayy inquires, the heat of his gaze burning into the side of my face.  
  
A content smile curls over my lips as I turn around and look up into soft, love filled brown eyes.  
  
"Yeah," I finally reply, leaning in and pecking Jayy's pierced lips (and bluntly ignoring the way my mom and Jayy's mom squealed and took a picture). "It's perfect."  
  
"Not as perfect as you," Jayy murmurs against my lips, pecking me one then twice then thrice then-  
  
"Okay, okay you two," My mom cuts in, the smile heard through her tone. "As cute as you two are and as much as we love seeing you kiss, save the make out session for later on in your room with the door open."  
  
"Yes Mrs. Torres," Jayy instantly responds, a flush creeping along his pale cheeks as he quickly unwraps his arms around my waist while shooting my mother an apologetic smile. "Sorry Mrs. Torres."  
  
"Jinnet, Jayy, call me Jinnet (1)," Mom corrects, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as Jayy instantly obeyed.  
  
"Yes Mrs. T-I mean Jinnet," Jayy's words stumble out, his blush growing redder with each second that passed.  
  
"Good boy," Jinnet murmured as she turned on her heels and walked back into the kitchen where Jayy's mom stood laughing.  
  
"You are so whipped," I teased my boyfriend (yes people, boyfriend. You will never know just how happy that makes me when I say that), giggling as his lips formed into a pout.  
  
"You're mom's really scary though!" Jayy whined as he turned his puppy dog eyes on.  
  
A coo escapes my mouth as I stand up on my tippy toes and kiss his cheek, intertwining our hands together.  
  
"That's because I'm her baby," I murmur, grinning up at my boyfriend and snickering at his sulky expression.  
  
"I need another kiss," Jayy mumbles as he bends down, our lips inches apart.  
  
Internally smirking, I slowly reach up and just as our lips are about to touch....  
  
I gently shove him towards the kitchen.  
  
"No kisses for you until later on," I gently chide while smirking as Jayy's pout grew (honestly, the boy was just too adorable for his own good).  
  
"Not far!" Jayy whined, widening his eyes until they looked like a puppys.  
  
"Go!" I point towards the kitchen, my smirk growing as Jayy obeyed (albeit he did it slowly but oh well, they're just details).  
  
Softly laughing, I turned my body towards the couch and plopped down on it, curling my knees to my chest as I gazed at the Christmas tree in Jayy's living room.  
  
 _'Look at how far we've come,'_ I silently thought as my smirk dropped into a smile. _'At the beginning, we were enemies on two different sides; then we were best friends and now we're here: lovers, that are going to be forever if **I** have any say.'_  
  
A bubble of giggle forms under my vocal chords and I squash it down, trying to stop acting like a school girl (no offense to school girls though!) and more like a guy.  
  
 _'Somedays, I can't even believe any of this is real,'_ I continued to muse, my thoughts wandering like birds flying through the sky. _'Everything's just so **perfect;** I have the perfect **boyfriend** who, under all that dark clothing and bad boy (and player) attitude, is actually the sweetest thing on this Earth. I have the perfect **friends** who are willing to defend me and accept me for all my flaws. And I have the perfect **family** who loves me and accepts me.'_  
  
 _'Don't forget you have the perfect future-in-laws,'_ My conscious chimed in.  
  
My smile turned into a full blown grin at my conscious words.  
  
 _'You're right,'_ I silently replied as the memory of meeting Jayy's mom for the first time wrapped around me and pulled me under. _'She is.'_

* * *

  
_It was a Saturday afternoon; the weather was cold (as is any weather in December) and snowflakes all formed in a multitude of shapes were gently falling to the ground covered in white._  
  
 _We had our tenth date yesterday (which was meeting my mom), so today was our eleventh date which consisted of me meeting Jayy's mom._  
  
 **_Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump_ **  
  
_Brown eyes flutter close as my pink lips part and sharply inhale the oxygen circulating through Jayy's car, attempting in vain to ease the drumming my heart was doing._  
  
 _"You're going to be okay, love," Jayy gently says, his warm hands wrapping around mine and squeezing even though his eyes stayed trained on the road. "She's going to love you just as much as I do."_  
  
 _"I-I hope so," I whisper, shivers running down my spine like roadrunners as I thought of what would happen if Jayy's mom didn't like me._  
  
 _' **What if she doesn't like me?'** I silently question, my heart stopping before restarting at an even faster pace as my thoughts become darker. **'What if she instantly hates me because I'm not good enough for Jayy? Will she force us to break up? Never see each other again? Will she move and take Jayy with her?'**_  
  
 **_Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump_ **  
  
_Brown eyes squeeze together as I deeply inhale once more, my hand tightening on Jayy's as I tried to swim away from the wave of despair and depression._  
  
 _"Dahvie," Jayy's voice cuts through my thoughts and my eyes snap open once I feel my chin being grasped._  
  
 _Brown eyes clash with brown and I instantly relax at seeing the sincerity and confidence radiating from Jayy's eyes._  
  
 _"Stop worrying, baby," Jayy soothes as he leans in and kiss my forehead, my eyes shutting and enjoying Jayy's warmth. "She's going to love you and she's going to want you to be her son-in-law and she's not going to reject you. So stop all those dark thoughts I know are swirling around in your pretty head. It's going to be okay."_  
  
 _"O-Okay," I swallow down the lump in my throat as Jayy pulls away (and yes, I did miss his warmth and I did pout), my eyes shooting towards the front window and noticing Jayy's house standing right in front of it. "O-Okay."_  
  
 _''Okay," Jayy repeats, shooting me a soft smile as he climbed out and opened my door for me while offering his hand._  
  
 _I follow suite, gripping Jayy's hand in a death grip as we walked closer and closer to the front door that would no doubt lead to my doom._  
  
 _ **'It'll be okay,'** I silently encouraged myself, gripping Jayy's hand and relaxing (by a small amount) when his long fingers stroke my palms. **'It'll be okay.'**_  
  
 _Finally, after walking a distance that seemed shorter than I would have liked it to be, we stand in front of the door._  
  
 _"Ready?" Jayy turns his head to me, brown eyes peering into my eyes as if he could see my soul with just one glance._  
  
 _White teeth ensnare my bottom lip as I nibbled on it, trying to calm my racing heart._  
  
 _"R-Ready," I whisper, the lump returning with venegence._  
  
 _Jayy squeezes my hand once more before leaning down and pressing his lips against mine._  
  
 _The reaction is instant: my whole body relaxes and the lump vanishes like a ghost._  
  
 _Pulling away, I re-open my closed eyes and whisper a soft thanks._  
  
 _"I love you," Jayy murmurs, his gaze connecting with mine. "No matter what."_  
  
 _My head moves up and down as my heart slows down, warmth spreading through my veins even though it was cold as hell outside._  
  
 _"I know," I respond, shyly smiling up at my boyfriend. "And I love you too."_  
  
 _"Of course you would," Jayy arrogantly smirks, the smirk disappearing in a flash as I giggle._  
  
 _"Oh hush it you cocky bad boy," I upbraid, flashing him a mischievous smirk before breathing in and opening the front door._  
  
 _Brown eyes take in the comfortable setting: there was a long black leather couch pressed against the white painted walls, a TV facing the couch, and black wooden coffee table standing a few meters away from the couch._  
  
 _"It's nice," I whisper as we step in, taking off our shoes next to the door and hanging our jackets in the closet._  
  
 _"Why, thank you," A female voice responds, a woman with long black hair and brown eyes stepping into the room with a soft smile on her face. "You must be Dahvie I presume?"_  
  
 _"Y-Y-Yes M-M-Mrs. G-G-Griffis (2)," I stutter out in reply, my olive cheeks flushing even darker (though they were already pink from the cold, harsh nipping wind)._  
  
 _"Please, call me Sharon (3) honey," Mrs. Griffis gently corrects, walking over to me and engulfing me into a tight mom hug._  
  
 _Olive cheeks flush even redder as I return the hug, my heart slowing down as I realized that Jayy's mom wouldn't do anything bad to me._  
  
 _"O-Okay S-Sharon," I correct as she pulls away, a beaming smile etched over her lips._  
  
 _"Good," Mrs. Griffis pats my cheek before stepping back and looking me over, her brown eyes leaving me feeling self-conscious in my white V-neck sweater and black skinny jeans. "Well, I can now see exactly why Jayy wanted you so much, honey. You're practically an angel that oozes innocence and purity."_  
  
 _"T-T-Thank y-you," I reply, my voice stuttering as my cheeks flamed (it's permanent now, my cheeks will never be olive again) once more._  
  
 _"Your welcome darling," Mrs. Griffis replies, giving me a sweet smile before gesturing towards the living room. "Sit, sit please! I'll get you something to drink and then we can talk."_  
  
 _"O-Okay," I obey her command while sitting upright on the couch as I watched her move towards the kitchen, Jayy's arms wrapping around my waist snapping me out of my trance._  
  
 _"See?" Jayy grinned as he pulled me closer until I was snuggled into my chest (and damn, if I had a favorite place to be it was here). "Told you she'd love you."_  
  
 _"W-Whatever," I mumble, my words barely heard as they were muffled by the fabric of Jayy's shirt. "Don't get so cocky."_  
  
 _In return, I received a deep chuckle that rumbled his chest and sent the vibrations through my body._  
  
 _' **I'm going to be okay,'** I silently said as Mrs. Griffis came back with the drinks and handed them to us. **'I'm going to be okay.'**_  
  
 _And you know what?_  
  
 _I was._

* * *

  
  
Brown eyes slowly open, happiness and contentment washing over my like a gentle sea wave.  
  
 _'I'm lucky,'_ I thought as my eyes moved towards Jayy who had come in and was placing two cups of hot chocolate right in front of me. _'I'm lucky to have friends who care about me and want me happy; I'm lucky to have parents that love me to death and accept my boyfriend even though he looks unique. But most of all, I'm lucky to have Jayy.'_  
  
Short legs instantly stand without my control and I move towards Jayy, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down until our lips were touching (and I still felt that spark).  
  
"What was that for?" Jayy murmurs against my lips, his eyes gazing into mine with puzzlement shining from the brown orbs.  
  
"Nothing," I shrug my shoulders as I reply, pulling him down and pecking him once more before pullig away with a soft smile scrawled over my lips. "Just thankful for being blessed with a loving boyfriend like you."  
  
"Aw, I love you to babe," Jayy cooes as he kisses me once more before pulling away and walking back into the kitchen.  
  
 _'Maybe in the beginning I hated you, Jayy,'_ I silently said as I watched my boyfriends retreating back, _'I hated you because you were a player and you made me feel something more than lust on the first day; I hated that you flirted so shamelessly and slept around without a care, and I hated how much I anger I felt when I thought of you with another boy. But most of all, I hated how I fell for you so hard when you acted like I was just another body to fuck.'_  
  
 _'But now,'_ A pink tongue peeks out and brushes across my bottom lip, the tingles still lingering as I turned and walked back to the couch. _'Now I love you with every fiber of my being. I love how you smile and laugh; I love how you're so sweet and kind; I love how you trust me.'_  
  
Brown eyes close as olive hands gently grab the cup and sip the hot chocolate, a memory pushing forth and replaying like a broken record.  


* * *

  
_It was a Wednesday afternoon; the weather was cold (but not too cold, thus is why it was still November) but the sun was out and shining._  
  
 _But, even though the wind was harsh and unforgiving when blowing, I felt warm with Jayy's head in my lap as my fingers carded through the soft hair (it felt like a cloud, in all honesty)._  
  
 _My blue eyes were lazily moving around the park, taking in the fallen leaves and bare dark branches before a stray thought crossed my mind._  
  
 _"Jayy?" I softly call, my eyes falling on to my boyfriend who had his eyes closed and a peaceful expression colored on his handsome face._  
  
 _"Hm?" One red crimson eye peeks open, blinking like an owl as his gaze connected with mine._  
  
 _"Remember when..." I trail off, my fingers stopping in their tracks as I broke off our connection and bit at my bottom lip._  
  
 _"Remember when what boo?" Jayy inquires, both eyes opening up as he quizzically stared at me._  
  
 _Biting my lip once more, I inhale deeply while silently encouraging myself before speaking._  
  
 _"Remember when C-Christ-Christopher died and you went to me?" I finally got out the question, sneaking a glance at my boyfriend to gauge his reaction; it stayed clothed in bewilderment._  
  
 _"Yes," Jayy slowly answers, flipping over with his chin in his pale. "What about it?"_  
  
 _"Um, well you see, um-I-I..." I stumble over my words, olive cheeks flaming red (and it had nothing to do with the cold) as I actively avoided Jayy's gaze._  
  
 _"Babe," A pale hand gently grips my chin and turns in until our eyes met. "Ask me. You know you could ask me anything and I'll answer truthfully."_  
  
 _Olive cheeks flame redder as I shyly duck my gaze before inhaling and connecting our eyes again._  
  
 _"W-Why d-d-did y-y-y-you c-c-come t-to m-me?" I stutter out the question, my voice quiet and low._  
  
 _"Why?" Jayy blinks owlishly before his eyes breaks our gaze and moves over my head as a smile curls over his lips. "Because I had nothing to lose."_  
  
 _"What do you mean?" I query, my brows furrowing as I gazed into my boyfriend's face._  
  
 _"You hated me," Jayy clarifies, his eyes finally coming back to mine. "You didn't like me and didn't think highly of me then, so I knew that if I came crying to you then you wouldn't judge me because your opinion was already so low of me. That's why I came to you."_  
  
 _"Oh," I whisper in reply, nodding my head as my hands instinctively came up and started carding through Jayy's hair again._  
  
 _"Also the fact that you give amazing hugs and I wanted my Dahvie-hugs," Jayy added, grinning as I burst out in a peal of giggles._  
  
 _"You are too cute for your own good," I cooed as I pecked his lips, pulling back and grinning at his pout._  
  
 _"I'm not cute!" Jayy vehemently denied, red eyes narrowed. "I'm sexy! You're the cute one!"_  
  
 _"Whatever you say, Jayy bear," I comply, smirking at him._  
  
 _"Oh I'll show you," Jayy playfully growled as he tackled me, wiping that smirk right off my face._  
  
 _Needless to say, when Jayy dropped me off at my house, my lips were red and swollen._  
  
 _I totally ignored my mom's inquisitive gaze._  
  
 _After all, I don't think she'd like to know that her baby boy was in park making out like there was no tomorrow with a bad boy._

* * *

  
Rounds of giggles escapes my lips, no matter how hard I tried to stop them, as I remembered that memory.  
  
 _'Yeah,'_ I silently said as I wiped away stray tears, continuing my earlier thoughts. _'I really do love how Jayy trusts me. But most of all, I love Jayy for being Jayy, not Jayy the player or Jayy the bad boy. But Jayy the sweet boyfriend.'_  
  
A sigh escapes pink lips before I look over at my side where Jayy sat, drinking his hot chocolate.  
  
 _'I'll love you, Jayy,'_ I silently vowed as our eyes gazed into each others, _'I'll love you for your mistakes, for your good and bad deeds, for your words and thoughts. I'll love you till the end of time. I promise.'_  
  
And when I leaned in and our lips once more touched, the taste of chocolate and milk mixing together as our tongues danced with each other, I knew that promise was one I would keep.  
  
 **Forever.**

* * *

  
***Jayy's POV**

 A grin tugs at my lips as I continue kissing the love my life, basking in the taste and emotions portrayed through the single gesture.  
  
"What ever did I do to deserve all these kisses?" I teased my boyfriend after we pulled away, my eyes straying to his red swollen lips (you will never know just how hard it was to control myself from ravishing Dahvie right now on this very couch) before flickering back up to his glittering brown eyes.  
  
"Became the love of my life," Dahvie instantly answered, a shy grin curling over his lips.  
  
"Well then," I slowly reply, leaning in and giving him one more peck before pulling back. "It is a great honor to be the love of your life."  
  
My grin grows even wider as Dahvie giggles (Seriously! the boy has adorable giggles, I have no clue why he hates it).  
  
"It is," Dahvie agrees, giving me one more smile before turning his attention to his hot chocolate.  
  
Pierced lips stay closed as I lean back and lazily watch my boyfriend, not even fighting the feelings of happiness and love festering beneath my skin.  
  
 _'How did I get so lucky to have an angel like you as mine?'_ I silently wondered as I watch my boyfriend blow on the hot beverage, the whole scene just fucking adorable. _'How did an evil sinner, a bird with twisted colors, capture the heart of someone so pure?'_  
  
Shaking my head, I tear my eyes away from Dahvie and drift towards the Christmas tree we (as in Dahvie, Jinnet, My mom, and I put up) put up.  
  
 _'You know, when I first met Dahvie,'_ I started to muse, lifting my cup and drinking some of the hot chocolate. _'I was a jaded fool; I didn't believe in love because I thought it didn't last. And all that was because of Christopher dying. And yet...'_  
  
Brown eyes flicker over towards my boyfriend who was snuggled into my side with his eyes trained on the tree and a smile etched on his face.  
  
 _'And yet somehow, someway, an innocent boy like you changed me,'_ I continued my previous thoughts, my eyes softening unknown to me. _'You, Jesus David Torres, made a bad boy like me believe in love again; you made me see the world in bright colors instead of the dark, dull colors I used to see. You gave me hope again, and made me realize that-even though I was broken and scarred-I was loveable and love was worth taking the risks.'_  
  
A soft laugh escapes my mouth and, ignoring Dahvie's questioning look, I press my lips against his head before settling my cheek against it while my arms tightened before relaxing.  
  
 _'So, thank you, Dahvie,'_ I silently thanked my lover, _'Thank you for giving me hope; thank you for believing in me; but most of all, thank you for loving me.'_  
  
 _'I promise,'_ I silently vowed, knowing I would never break these promises Dahvie wouldn't know about (at least, not until we were married which was a plan I had for the future). _'No matter how many times we fight, no matter how many times we scream and say we don't need each other, no matter how many times we storm out of the house and never return until daylight, I will love you.'_  
  
 _'Always and forever.'_  
  
And so, the dark little bird-the bird that had lost all spirit and hope, his wings gnarled with dark colors of grief and loss and hatred-finally found his mate in the white little bird that shone brighter than any star and burned hotter than any sun.  
  
 **The bad boy finally got his happy ending with the innocent boy.**


End file.
